Any help would be greatly appreciated..

[fruffle]

I have been pretty depressed and have tried different things to no avail, sometimes I am happy but it's very fleeting; what am I doing wrong?  If I'm not asking the right question, I'll accept whatever any of you 'get' about me. I feel like I'm wasting my life!




edit: added another picture... is more better? is the most recent pic best? should I be smiling? does it matter?

[spiritalk]

Have you ever thought to take one day - maybe even one minute - at a time to enjoy life.  Do not project anything from communication or others.  Do not anticipate that the step you are taking automatically lead to the second you want to take.  But do anticipate the best from any experience.  One step at a time in life - no projection whatsoever - keeps you striving for positive dreams, goals, achievements.  And isn't that what life is all about really.

You are a dreamer somewhat.  You live in your head a lot.  Be sure that what you are doing, being, experiencing is in the reality of others as well as yourself.  Do not build to much more into your fantasy life as your imagination can really take off if you allow it.

Maybe even some spirit grounding would help.  Go for a walk in nature, hug a tree.  See yourself putting down roots like a strong tree and being grounded in the reality of your life.  Then make sure to see it positive, healthy and growing (your life as well as the visual).

Protection exercises every day helps too.  See yourself surrounded by a bubble similar to one blown from a child's soap bubble pipe, complete with the rainbow patch.  After all, rainbows are such strong symbols of bridges, connection, communication and they do come with a pot of gold (prosperity) at the end of the rainbow.  Then visualize it as a filter of all negativity from within and without - ever on the flow of life energy.

[fruffle]

thank you, spiritalk.

I agree that I'm a dreamer and live in my head a lot.

It's hard for me, when I'm down, to enjoy ANYTHING. Even if I stop for a minute and try extra hard.. I don't know.  I can become happy about little things here and there, food, my cats, movies, books, but the minute I'm done with one of those things the depression falls back around me like a dark cloak.  

I feel like I can't trick myself into being happy when I KNOW I don't like my life and the things I'm dreading will still come regardless of what exercises I do.. the nature walk/tree hugging sounds good to me but the weather is pretty nasty right now.  

I guess what I want to know is what would help me most if I changed it - my job, my relationship, my location, what?  I know they're all things that are getting me down but I'm sticking them all out in hopes that they'll get better and because I've already invested so much..

[CrystalSpirit]

Hi,on reading your post and photo's i sense someone who is stuck in a place of the unknown. Please believe me when i say 'i know how you feel' I have been there,for years i was there and like you i thot i couldnt and wouldnt get back up. In your first pic(love your cat)you were in a different stage to your second pic i feel. I believe you know deep down what has or is making you this way?. If you would like more insight thro pm,let me know. Blessings,CrystalSpirit

[fruffle]

CrystalSpirit, thanks for your reply I know lots of things that could be making me feel this way but not sure what the ROOT of it is I guess, or what part of my life I need to work on for the most results.. I don't know.. if you have any more insight for me I'm all ears..

The pic of me with the kitty was only a couple weeks before the second one.  This holiday I'm extra down I think cuz I'm spending the holidays alone. Pretty much the only time I've left my house is to go to the store.  So the second pic is me after I got my hair done over holiday, on my way back home.  Had my hair all purdy and nothin to do, nowhere to go. Aww.

[spiritalk]

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and DO!  The point is you got your hair done - where could you go to show it off?  

Depression is something that takes hold of us and doesn't let go.  It shows us that there is no where to go and nothing to do to change it.  But when all is said and done it is really in our own mind.  We have to make the first step to the rest of our lives.  Push yourself!

There is nothing more depressing the holidays.  More suicides are committed over the holidays because of the aloneness of the soul.  Let me tell you we can change that - just get up and do it!

Easier said than done?  I totally agree!  But whose life is it anyway?  What do you want to accomplish?  Approach it from your goals and dreams and life will take on more than you could have bargained for!  Be true to self and move!  Nothing in life is static - change is the constant.  If your life is not honoring you - move on!