To Feed Yourself.........

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tourbi
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To Feed Yourself.........

Post by tourbi » Thu May 08, 2008 5:42 pm

A Cup of Coffee
Barb Huff


I heated up a cup of coffee today in the microwave. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry as I stood there holding the steaming cup for the second time this morning. My son woke up crying, and it took nearly an hour of singing, consoling and rocking to get him back to sleep. In the meantime, my coffee got cold. So, I heated it up in the microwave.

I grew up vowing never to be like my mother. She is a wonderful, strong woman, and anyone would be proud to be like her. But I wasn’t going to be. No one in town seemed to know her name. To the teachers and students at the various schools her children attended, she was simply known as ____’s mom (fill in the blank with any one of her five children’s names). At the grocery stores and around the auto parts stores and hardware places, they affectionately called her “Mrs. Dale” after my father’s first name; and the folks at the bank, utility companies and other such important places addressed her with Dad’s last name, as Mrs. Keffer. Mom answered to all of these with a smile and kind words.


I, on the other hand, was never as gracious about it. Often, I would tell the bagger at the grocery store, “Her name is Joyce, by the way,” as he handed her the bag and told her to have a nice day using one of the aforementioned names. Mom would always smile and say, “You have a good day, too,” as she shot me the mind-your-manners-I-taught-you-better-than-that look. When we would then get to the car, I would bicker at her for not standing up for herself. “You are your own person,” I would retort. “You’re not just an extension of Dad.”

“I could be called a lot worse,” she would always reply. “Besides, everyone knows your dad.”

Everyone in this small town did know my dad. He was a friendly, hard-working man who liked to flirt with the checkout girls and give car advice to anyone who needed it. He could charm his way out of a speeding ticket and talk his way into a better deal with ease. He would not think twice about fixing a broken part on one of the neighbor kid’s bikes. Or leaving in the middle of a cold winter night to change a frightened teen’s flat tire.

But everyone knew my mom, too. While Dad was a great man in the community, Mom was equally special. She had her own way of talking herself into a good deal, and she loved to give friendly advice to people she met. When she would wake up on cold, snowy mornings to a house full of college kids who had been stranded in town, she would weave her way through the sleeping bodies and fix enough pancakes for all. If anyone was in need, my mom was right in the thick of the fight to help. She would collect items for a family who lost all in a house fire, canned goods for the church pantry, and clothes for a teen mother’s baby when no one else would help.

As a teen, I never understood my mom. How could someone with so much to offer the world be content to stay home and be known as an adjunct to her husband or as someone’s mother? Why wasn’t she proud of who she was? Once upon a time, she wanted to be a nurse and join the Peace Corps. How could anyone give up her dreams for washing out dirty diapers and packing my father’s bologna sandwiches?

All I knew was that this was not going to happen to me. I had big dreams of making a difference in the world—but with a bang, not a whimper. People would know me. I planned on working my way up through the ranks of the YMCA with a busy writing career on the side. My husband, if there was one, would be right behind me and, as for children, they would be cute and at their nanny’s side. I would not be like my mother—I would be me. And people would know me as someone important.

Now here I was heating up my cup of coffee in the microwave for the second time. Just as I had watched her do a million times after setting it down to pack a lunch, feed the cats, tie a shoe, retrieve a towel from the dryer, find a paper that needed returning to school, answer the phone and a million other possible interruptions. I dreamed of downing a good café latte for breakfast before another busy day at the office, and here I was drinking instant mocha from a “Happy Birthday” mug with colored balloons all over it.

I understand now. I understood eight months ago as I held my son for the first time. I understood when his tiny little hand wrapped around my finger and his big blue eyes looked into mine as he drifted off to sleep. I understood when the love I have for my husband tripled as I first saw the little body cuddled in his big, strong arms and saw the tears streak down his face. I understood it all instantly.

I look forward to the day that I will be known as Andrew’s mom to the people in town and the children at school. Every day, as my husband returns home from work and his face lights up as his son holds out his hands, I am proud to be Mrs. Frank Huff. Just like my mom is proud to be called Mrs. Dale Keffer. Just like my mom. Those are four words that I thought I would never say proudly.

By the way, if you see her, her name is Joyce.

And now I need to heat up my coffee again.
Stand in Love,Walk in Love, Live in Love ड़ारा
Nora Roberts
Love and magic have a great deal in common. They enrich the soul, delight the heart. And they both take practice.

symulhaque
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Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2013 3:41 pm

Post by symulhaque » Sun Mar 17, 2013 2:23 pm

Thank you for the nice story. a nice one.
symulhaqu07eee

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