I need to save my relationship from breaking down - please helpwith my reading

[Monica D]

Hello everybody!

I'm new over here and it's so nice to meet people sharing the same passion - tarot! I own a Boticelli deck. I recently did a Tarot reading for me and my boyfriend, in an "Improve Relationship" type of spread, asking what to do to get it better.
There are 5 spots in this spread: 1 and 2 - the source of problems from my and his point of view (respectively), then 3 (thought), 4 (word), 5 (deed) - the spots indicating what can be done so that the relationship gets improved. The results were the following:

1. The Empress (the source of obstacles from my point of view)

2. The Lovers (the source of obstacles from his point of view)

3. The World (the suggestion for the "thought" side)

4. Temperance (the suggestion for the "word" side)

5. 3 of Wands (the suggestion for the "deed", so action side).


I have my own interpretation, of course. The source of the problems in the relationship: mine - Empress, his - Lovers. The two cards are major ones, with lots of energy surrounding. Of course, I needed to take a look at their negative side a bit, since they appeared in the spread on the spots repesenting obstacles in our relationship. So, from my side, analyzing the Empress negative features, it could be maybe an excessive nurturing feeling towards my partner, excessive care and maybe being too open, too straight forward sometimes. In his case, I am a bit confused in interpreting negatively the Lovers side - could we maybe talk about an excessive feature, as frivolity? I just don't know how to read this. Coming to solutions, my opinion towards the emerging cards in this spread are:
- on the thought side: the World - so I should think of this relationship in a very positive matter, expect success, projecting this positive perception and letting me go with its flow;
- on the word side, Temperance speaks best: I must admit I haven't been keeping for me any thought, I'm verbalizing them all to him, maybe sometimes not showing my real feelings, for fear I might get hurt. So my speech should be more cautious from now on, I should become wiser and more temperate about what I say to him or in regards to him (sometimes I'm quite ruthless with words - and I know that hurts)
- on the deed side, I am again a bit confused - 3 wands is about trust in your own power, lots of self confidence, waiting for the fruits of your work to come to you, after some hard stuff going on...it could mean I should be patient and wait to get the best out of the efforts I made so far?

What is your opinion on the interpretation? Thank you!

Monica

[pirbid]

Ok, Monica, I think you are quite on the mark with your interpretations, but I will give you my view, anyway. BTW, you got an awful lot of Majors, so these issues are deeply ingrained in both of you, not just a passing situation.

Now, at the risk of being too generalistic, if I see the Empress as her obstacle and the Lovers as his, one very obvious but usual disagreement between couples that comes readily to mind is... babies. The Empress is the Mother, fertility. Even if you are not thinking about having babies right now, most men can't help seeing us as mothers to be -sooner or later- and if they are our mates, they wonder if they will be up to fatherhood. It's not that they reject it, but they may feel unsure about the whole thing. And this is a subject rarely spoken about: it finally sort of... happens, without first knowing what the other feels about it.

Another view is that the Empress is very passionate and feels very sure about what she wants from life, but she can also be too emotional -specially from a man's point of view- and a little self pleasing or capricious. This can be a little overwhelming on his side, specially because the Lovers can point to someone who finds it hard to chose, decide or make commitments, who can also be emotionally immature or have childish expectations which rarely come true. The Empress is very fully the woman, very mature, while the Lovers represent adolescence. It's quite typical for the woman to be more mature than the man in any couple, with the usual misunderstandings it entails.

As for the other cards, the World may be hinting that you think about the relationship as a cycle in your life: it can make you feel complete and self realized, but as all cycles, it usually has an end, sooner or later. So try to think which part of the cycle your relationship is in: beginnings? maturity? decline? What would be the best approach for the phase you are now in? Should you be making plans? Getting to understand your other half? Doing a balance of the whole? In a more literal way, it may mean that you both think 'The World' of each other  :smt002

Temperance is a very obvious choice for Words, specially in a love relationship, because hurtful things stay forever in the air; you can never take them back because they stay in the other's memory. So it is always a good idea to be specially careful how you speak to your mate, since you will have to see a lot more of him than other more casual relations, and also because his opinion matters more. So take the time to make the best choice of words when tackling something delicate.

The 3 of Wands means mastery as a result of effort and dedication, ability, understanding, energy and desire. All of those should be poured into a relationship. If you feel you have them, then you will soon be seeing the results of your good deeds. The cards are saying 'Keep working hard at it if you want to get the best results'. Because you never finish building a relationship: you have to keep working at it layer upon layer of understanding, dedication and love. This requires great effort, but if you love the 'job', you will feel no hardship, just go with the flow.

Hope that helped a little. Best wishes for both of you  :)

[cedars]

I will agree with Pirbid that you, Monica, have not done a bad interpretation of the cards yourself.
And, I will also agree with Pribid's view and interpretation of your cards.

At first I thought you had done the reading only using Major Arcana cards and hence I thought..... hmm....... why? But when I read further, I will again agree with Pribid, that things are at a high stake here and I cant add much more to what she has so eloquently put it to you.

If you love the guy, please work at it and do your best. Hopefully, he will realise his part in this too.

Hugs