First of all, to Lady of Avalon, I really wanted to apologize to you about my post beneath yours. I was half asleep when I wrote that and had NO CLUE how obnoxious and whiny my response came off. In a nutshell, what I
meant to say was that it seems like an impossibility presently and I am so completely blown away by it, I can barely believe it. :) But, please allow my thanks for your input! It means a lot. I was really just surprised by the reading and it hadn't worn off by the time I answered you. It sounds argumentative when I read it again.......but trust me it was more like "school girl hysteria"! :D
@ chrisdee -- all help and comments are extremely valuable to me! Thank you for responding. I'm very grateful you poked your nose in. That's why I'm opening up here at this forum. I'm so internal and I realized I need some people around who understand the tarot who can give insight I can't get from books.
For the first reading, your views were spot on. I have been vacillating, but not about how I feel about him. Just the complication and how everything will change if I pursue this. I am fighting those cold feet, but I'm trying to find that step that's really going to change things without breaking them to pieces forever. And the Death card. When I first read it, I was almost relieved. I thought it meant rebirth, thus the end of what was going on mentally with me. I didn't realize that it meant it could
possibly leave that unhappiness behind and have a new start with this person. Just depends on how to look at it. Really disturbing when you first see it, no matter how much you educate yourself to know that it doesn't mean "DEATH" or "END OF RELATIONSHIP". The Chariot----in many other readings I have had other cards say to me, don't give up, you'll get what you want even if it's not quite how you think it will happen. So, I can see that, definitely.
And yes, Lady of Avalon was spot on with the Ten of Cups. :)
@ Xia. I saw that death can indicate marriage or birth (quite to my utter shock) in the following books. (I hope we don't have to put them in a proper format, that I can just tell you the title and author. Sometimes forums want an entire bibliography.)
1.
The Tarot Guide to Love and Relationships says: "A relationship is putting you through dramatic experiences that are you transforming you forever, his influence is inspiring you to get healthier, and you know your arrangement with him has to be restructured from the ground up [true]..."
2.
Tarot Plain and Simple by Anthony Louis says it indicates (in list form): "Marriage..." Also, "A major change is about to take place. Transformation is imminent. The Death card often appears when you are facing significant life events like marriage, divorce, leaving home, relocating, career moves, or parenthood..." Mostly it focuses on change.
3.
The Mythic Tarot by Juliet Sharman and Liz Greene says, "The card of Death does not necessarily symbolize a 'bad' ending. The experience of irrevocable ending can accompany such joyful events as marriage or the birth of a child. But these events not only connote a new beginning; they also mean the death of an old way of life..."
@ Farafina, thanks for your help, also! Like I said, it sounds just about right. :) And I do appreciate all your concern and care to take the time to read all this. I was hoping that you all might give me insight and maybe play devil's advocate with me and say, don't get your hopes up if that's what I was really doing. :smt009
Again, thanks, to all that have helped.
<<<hugs to you all>>>>