Whats your preference for choosing a soulmate?

setiawandavid · Post by **setiawandavid** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:26 am

Well i think there is a big difference between choosing a soulmate and choosing a BF or GF. So i really want to know what is your preference when you want to commit for a serius relationship?

Maybe Looks/Appearance, Kindness, Money, Brain, Charisma, Title, Or something else.

Well any answer is appreciated, since i thought that girls will go for money or fame first correct me if i am wrong.

ThanksWhats your preference to choose a soulmate?

virathree33 · Post by **virathree33** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 4:09 am

I personally go for brains first.

But in my opinion I don't think you "choose" your soulmate. I think you just are soulmates from the beginning of time to the end of an eternity.
If that makes any sense..

Angelique · Post by **Angelique** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 5:13 am

Brains/intellect... biggest turn on ever! Conversational skills.

Looks are nice, but an ugly person can lie inside a beautiful person, making them ugly over time; and an unattractive person can become beautiful over time if they are beautiful inside. Looks are nice, but mean nothing when it all comes down to it.

Be with someone you have great conversations with, and if you find someone you can have great conversations and laugh with, even better. Looks go away, gravity takes over the body, hair falls out, becomes grey, wrinkles set in.. libido goes down. What do you have left? Great conversation and hopefully laughter.

I'll take brains over looks any day..

Deucalion · Post by **Deucalion** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:31 pm

I don't think you choose your soulmate either.  In fact, I don't believe that everybody gets to meet their soulmate, or maybe they do, but don't realise it cause they're too busy looking on the outside or at the material things.  when you do meet them, you just kinda know!  I believe I met mine when I met my partner 4 years ago.  To begin with I wasn't sure I really liked him (apart from his accent, he's Scottish!).  While he's good looking, he's definantly no oil painting, he had no money and at the time was living in a hostel for homeless people.  The thing that really bothered me was that he has a drink problem.  However, we were drawn to each other and after going out a couple of times, I just knew that we were going to be together.  Sure, we have our ups and downs like all couples, but mostly we're happy together.  I know it sounds corny, but we complete each other.  We're like two sides of the same coin.

setiawandavid · Post by **setiawandavid** » Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:24 pm

Hmm i do not know whether all of your answer is true or not. For me myself to be honest i would choose a cute girl, well i know a nice girl who get around me, i know she likes me but since she is not my type (based on appearance) so i keep a distance with her. I don't really understand, sometimes girl says something like that but sometimes they reject ugly boy. For brain, some of my friends tried to catch the brain boy just to use them for helping them on their study. Well no offence please correct me if i am wrong. That what i see around me. Who knows that outer world is different =]

Deucalion · Post by **Deucalion** » Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:59 pm

Hi David, yes it's me again!!  Of course you'd go for the cute girl, just as I'd go for the good looking guy. (By the way, in spite of the user name i hasten to add that i am a female).  People say that looks shouldn't count when it comes to relationships but i think that's a load of bull, because even though what's really important is the kind of person the guy or girl is, ultimately i believe it's the way they look that first attracts us to a person.  We see someone, we're physically attracted to them, we get to know them and then decide if they're the type of person we really want to know.  I've met some really gorgeous guys who turned out to be real swines or totally boring, and some not so good looking guys who were really great people.  Also of course, it's true what they say about beauty being in the eye of the beholder, what one person finds attractive, another doesn't.  Personally, I like the guy i find attractive to have a great personality and brains.  Also a good sense of humour.  

Angelique · Post by **Angelique** » Fri Jun 22, 2007 4:18 pm

setiawandavid wrote:Hmm i do not know whether all of your answer is true or not. For me myself to be honest i would choose a cute girl, well i know a nice girl who get around me, i know she likes me but since she is not my type (based on appearance) so i keep a distance with her. I don't really understand, sometimes girl says something like that but sometimes they reject ugly boy. For brain, some of my friends tried to catch the brain boy just to use them for helping them on their study. Well no offence please correct me if i am wrong. That what i see around me. Who knows that outer world is different =]

Well, as for myself I'm 40 soon to be 41 and my IQ is 162, I never needed a man to help me study since I'm quite capable of doing it on my own if need be. For a teenager, the answer might be quite different.

Based on the direction of this thread, your questions and responses, I think you are confusing attraction over soul mate. Attraction is a preference (looks/mind/body) or something we draw consciously or subconsciously unto ourselves, much like a magnet would. A soul mate on the other hand, we have many soul mates in our lives, and they are not strictly distinguished under the category of "lover." Soul mates can be friends, family, lovers, and passerby's. Most of the time soul mates find each other, sometimes they don't. You will find in your lifetime you will have more than one soul mate surrounding you. For instance, my father is my soul mate; my best friend Joanne we have been best friends for over 27 years and she is 22 years older than me is my soul mate; my husband is my soul mate and then there is a friend of mine who is my twin soul.

You're young still. I think as you grow older, wiser and gather more experience over time you'll find the things that are important to you now aren't important to you in the future. Who knows, maybe the ugly girl who has a crush on you now that you have no interest in, will be the girl you marry because she is the one who makes you happy. I'm not saying that's what will happen, but you'd be surprised at the curve balls life throws us. My father (an exceptionally handsome man) is the perfect example of that. He only stuck with beautiful women, married a beautiful woman (my mom is a knockout), they separated in their late 20's, divorced in their early 40's and he only dated models, the most beautiful women. He remarried when he was in his 50's and when I met the woman before he even knew he would fall in love with her and marry her I said "this is not (his name) material." She was not even remotely pretty. In fact, she was ugly. In fact anyone who met her was taken back and would say the same thing "this is not (his name) material." But as you got to know her, she became beautiful and she is beautiful to me. It's because of the beauty inside of her that she became beautiful to everyone around her. My father married her and I've never seen him so happy and so in love.

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Sat Jun 23, 2007 1:44 pm

A soul mate is NOT about being a GF or BF...it is about finding a person that resonates at the same soul level.  That is well beyond any material/physical appearances and/or even behaviours.

To be that shallow in any search for a lover is to dismiss the world of potential and possibilities in all people we meet.  What are you looking at?  And have you looked in the mirror?

The fact is...a soul mate is so much more!  There is a completeness you did not even know was missing prior to the relationship.  And this can be your best friend and/or or your lover or any other relationship in your life (mother, father, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.)

paramour · Post by **paramour** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 10:29 pm

we gotta just "click". i think it is out of our hands, actually. when the sparks fly, it is because of the chemistry. nothing to do with anything we can do or not do or choose or not choose. it just happens. cosmically.

samsjr · Post by **samsjr** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:03 am

I like a girl who takes care of them selves vs. what you consider attrative . They dont have to be the best looking ,but if I can take care of myself I`d want that from some one I would choose to be with; brains are great too.

-sam

flight _of_angelwings · Post by **flight _of_angelwings** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:25 am

Sense of HUMOUR

My soul mate is my hubby and he is sooo funny.  There is nothing more attractive about people than their sense of humour.  I LOVE laughing with him and his quick wit will bring tears of laughter to my eyes.  

Of course everyone will notice attractive people firstly and we all are.  everyone is attractive in their own way but a sense of humour to me is gold.  

The first thing that made me sit up and take notice of my husband whom I had known for a year before I 'really' saw him was he made me laugh one day till it hurt.  I fell in love with him right there and then.  

13 years later and I wouldnt want to be anywhere else than with him.  Even now he is working and I have spent the whole last 30 mins thinking of how much fun we can have when he gets home listening to music and playing a card game.  I enjoy his company.

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 12:06 pm

To keep it in the realm of choosing a lover....

A religious writer for our local newspaper once talked about their being 3 marriages in our lives....

The first is in the blush of youth, when all is passion and hearts and flowers.
The second is in the middle years when we grow together in common lifestyles.
The third is the companionship of our waning years.

And isn't it wonderful when all 3 happen in one relationship.

Look for a sense of humor in another...all else fades with time.

Rohiniranjan · Post by **Rohiniranjan** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 1:25 am

Dear folks,

Call me stupid (or perhaps senile given my age!) but please explain:

What is a soulmate?
How do we/you define that relationship??
Why and how is this individual different from someone whose eyes met ours on the bus or the Hawaii tour???

Definitions first and then it should be easy to dig into the ancient magic bag and bring out the solution!

RR

[quote="setiawandavid"]Well i think there is a big difference between choosing a soulmate and choosing a BF or GF. So i really want to know what is your preference when you want to commit for a serius relationship?

Maybe Looks/Appearance, Kindness, Money, Brain, Charisma, Title, Or something else.

Well any answer is appreciated, since i thought that girls will go for money or fame first correct me if i am wrong.

ThanksWhats your preference to choose a soulmate?[/quote]

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:18 pm

When you meet a soul mate, you meet someone who resonates with your every thought...even before its expressed...like finishing someone else's sentences because you were both relating at a deeper level.  I have a same gender friend in which we can talk about anything and everything and always know where our minds are at, even without the spoken word.  And that can be quite a task for an air sign...lol.

kmb · Post by **kmb** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 3:02 pm

Hi,
I don't think we choose our soulmates I think they are chosen for us!
I do believe people come into our lives as we need them. With that said I believe that looks, money, or physical attraction are the least important things. I've been married for 28 yrs and believe me looks go away! LOL
It's the person inside the person which matters. If he/she is your true soulmate then yes "Love is blind"
Karen

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Whats your preference for choosing a soulmate?

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