Guilt

[dhav]

Your experience and idea about guilt and how you overcame it?

[soul_flower]

I feel guilty every time i say no to someone....If they need me to do something or go somewhere and i really cant do it or go i say no....Then they play the guilt trip and make me feel oh so bad......In the end i say yes because i feel so bad for saying no......Doesnt matter what it involves if someone has less than me or i say no and they have a harder time for me saying no or even just little things if im sick with my IBS and someone asks me to come over and i say no....Always put myself thru hell for saying the n o word....Im still yet to overcome it,i want to be my own person and not feel bad with things like that...So id rather say yes and stress out than say no and feel guilty....Stupid hey.


Tamara :o)

[dhav]

I feel guilty when I have been nasty to someone and shouted at that person(my sisters).

Well many times emotions gets hyper and I end up saying bad things angrily.I felt guilty when Iwould say "No"to someone in the past and would never refuse soemone.Now i have changed myself.I just don't feel guity.I stopped overdoing myself for others because I beleive people should help themselves and be independent.I will only help when they genuinely need it.

[FireRose]

Your experience and idea about guilt and how you overcame it?

There are some things I don't know if I will ever stop feeling guilty about completely and other things I probably should feel guilty about that I never will.

All in between, I overcame through reminding myself that good things can come from mistakes. I guess it's the same idea behind forgiving others when you forgive yourself... it's just usually more difficult.

[sweetbelle]

Guilt, wow funny you should bring that up. For me my guilt is synonmous with Shame.
Depending on the amount of guilt I am feeling there is usually some amount of shame that goes along with it. If I hurt someone's feelings or betrayed them I feel both gulity and ashamed.  I also feel some self loathing that I allowed myself to act or to be treated badly to begin with.
Guilt is very powerful and it can lead someone to veer on the path of self destruction..
Tanya

[Betrayed]

There are a lot of things that I have done in the past that still haunts me to this day, even small things.

For me, it a forgive but not forget rule. Someone here once said it was still not positive enough, but if I don't remember my mistakes, I'll probably do them again. Life is about learning from mistakes, and we can't always do everything right.

BESIDES, having guilt means we have a compassionate/caring side in us. It shows we think about other people and not just for ourselves(although some might do good things for the sake of not having to feel bad for themselves.)

[dhav]

Yup guys nice to hear about your views about guilt and all of them hold true.It makes us feel human,it can cause destruction and it's all about forgiving oneself most importantly.

dhav

[spiritalk]

Life is about a series of lessons.  We are going to be good, bad or ugly in all experiences.  We can dwell in the pains and struggles of the lesson or we can gain the value of the lesson and move on to the next one.

The lessons of life are like a series of stepping stone - each one representing a lesson.  Taking the value keeps our back pack light.  Taking the stepping stone and not releasing the struggles and pain makes the back pack heavy to go forward.

[Nicole]

Life is about a series of lessons.  We are going to be good, bad or ugly in all experiences.  We can dwell in the pains and struggles of the lesson or we can gain the value of the lesson and move on to the next one.

The lessons of life are like a series of stepping stone - each one representing a lesson.  Taking the value keeps our back pack light.  Taking the stepping stone and not releasing the struggles and pain makes the back pack heavy to go forward.

Don't I know it..
Well said Mother Angel~!!

[priya159]

i used to feel guilt for me and to judge othere and blaim.
reading books - i overcame guilt and also meditation.
now i take 100% resposibility on myself. and forgive most of things.

do what i feel like. and dream big. lol

[LostShaman]

I think there is a shade of difference between guilt and shame.  Shame is something that hides, while guilt is in the open.  A certain amount of guilt may be a good thing if it serves as a reminder of behavior that one would like to avoid in the future.  Shame, on the other hand, is something we tend to try to avoid and forget.  Admitting that you are guilty of some negative action can free you from the shame that will drag you down.

[swduryee]

There are a few different things that I have done in my past that I have felt guilty about all the way back to my teenager. I have tryed to get over some of the things, even more now, by reflecting on why I did that particular thing at that time, write down what I should have done and think if I could've done something different. Today, however, I still have some things that haunts me but it isn't as strong as it used to be. Unfortunatly I have gone to therapy which helped me to a certain extent to get over it. One example is the marriage I was in for 8 years, which after leaving him, I did go to thearpy to get over what happened to me as well I put my children into therapy to help them as well.
I have found what helps me with my guilt, especially when it gets really bad, I sit down think and reflect on why I am feeling the way that I am and I write it down in a journal that I keep for this purpose. I learned, from therapy, that by doing this I am releasing my guilt which releases it in a positive way and allowing it to leave me feeling lighter.
This is just one of the ways that I release and somewhat get over the guilt that I feel at times.

[Your_Enlightenment]

Your experience and idea about guilt and how you overcame it?

It is suitable to try to fix one's imperfections: to know oneself from the inside out and to try about one's harmonic and real self-improvement.
I recommend retrospective memories on your entire life, above all the moments when you hurted somebody. Remember whom you ever denigrate, robbed, disappointed, beaten... Then put into his or her shoes - into the suffering that he or she had to experience because of you. Then you will probably think that you are merciless and bad - maybe even a monster in human shape.
Then you should feel very much sorry about all of your deeds and you should feel badly about yourselves. Then a feeling of a big desire should appear to atone all the bad deeds - a desire to return back the time and act better than you acted. But it is not possible. You are not able to return the time back. So the only what will remain for you is to try to never do the mistakes again - so that there would be no one who would suffer because of you again, to hurt no one in the way you did.
If you will get that deep, you managed a big thing. You have got to know a dark part of yourselves and it is the first step to be allowed to lighten it by your remorses, by terrible sorrow and endeavor to do good.

Source: http://www.pkfreebooks.net/samples/proverbs_quotes.htm

[obvious@live.ca]

I had a little guilty experience come back and bite me about twenty years later, I tend to be open to other people's feelings and I must have made my best friend's mother livid, because it came back to haunt me in a few ways, and checked in at my 12 steps protocol along the way,

the make amends thing...

I still don't feel guilty about it, I was only seven (I stole something, and I admit, she must have cherished it) from what I have seen of my daughter and her friends, kids do stupid things, lie about stupid things, all sorts of forgiveable stuff,

this synchronicity stuff is the bats sometimes...going over weird connections in my mind, sometimes reinforced by the force of other people's feelings....

I feel technically guilty, I should not have done it, but isn't it up to us to forgive ourselves for things like this as well? must we go back and find the people we snubbed in kindergarten?  shouldn't things that have the potential to affect our lives come under some sort of early learning "grace" period? =)

[obvious@live.ca]

ah. not that I'm letting my daughter lie, its just that its part of the learning step in a way, and oh.

ok. lies suck, stealing sucks, but wow. its been a pretty strong effect for something I did so young.

as far as I know, its pretty usual for a kid to do something in that range of event, take something they shouldnt, tell a fib, do something they shouldnt and sneak.....


well, I don't think my baby brother did anything wrong though, but as far as I know, that is not normal =)