we all are human beings and we have our own views to express... since this subject is somewhere related to everyone if not it will be related in near future for younger generation... come on guys start answering now... I am lil bit confused in this topic... Your valuable input helps me to conclude in my life!
Regards,
Ramesh
Love marriage V/s Arriange Marriage?
Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123
I wouldn't like to be forced into any relationship, marriage least of all BUT love is a multitude of desires and it can be subjective. Marriage is a limitation of love in some respects, so how it comes about and is maintained really is subjective too. I think marriage means different things to different cultures so I wouldn't judge to say one way works better than any other but choice does appear to be the best option whether it works out for the best or not.
Couples marry for all sorts of reasons, many people are fortunate to pick and choose a partner but that doesn't mean they'll make a good choice... a lot are incompatable and don't last. If it comes down to happiness, we don't always know what we want and when we get it we often change our minds.
I think arranged marriages are generally well supported by the family but if the partnership is less than comfortable, getting out of that bind isn't much of an option and is probably social suicide for some families.
Everyone is different though so what works for one person won't work for another. You can only hope you get it right for you.
Couples marry for all sorts of reasons, many people are fortunate to pick and choose a partner but that doesn't mean they'll make a good choice... a lot are incompatable and don't last. If it comes down to happiness, we don't always know what we want and when we get it we often change our minds.
I think arranged marriages are generally well supported by the family but if the partnership is less than comfortable, getting out of that bind isn't much of an option and is probably social suicide for some families.
Everyone is different though so what works for one person won't work for another. You can only hope you get it right for you.
Love is a deeper quality than expressed in human terms. It goes deep within the soul. Loveless relationships wither and die.
An Aglican minister writing in our local newspaper made an interesting observation.
There are 3 marriages in life:
The first is in the passion of youth when all is wine and roses.
The second is a melding together of all energies and efforts to create a family tie and bond.
The third is a companion in our old age. Seek someone with a sense of humor - all else fades with age.
And isn't it wonderful when all 3 are present in the one relationship.
An Aglican minister writing in our local newspaper made an interesting observation.
There are 3 marriages in life:
The first is in the passion of youth when all is wine and roses.
The second is a melding together of all energies and efforts to create a family tie and bond.
The third is a companion in our old age. Seek someone with a sense of humor - all else fades with age.
And isn't it wonderful when all 3 are present in the one relationship.
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sweet doll
- Posts: 777
- Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:32 am
hi,
I have loved this topic and want to comment on this.It is said that marriages are made in heaven.I donot know whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage.We are born on 21st century where we can take decisions of our own and can act accordingly.So in this century maximum people go for love marriage and I think it is covenient from every thing.If you love for years you are accustomed with your partners behaviour.So after marriage you face little trouble.You can also convey all your feeling to your partner without hesitation.You wont think what will he/she think if I say this.In love marriage you can express your own views and there will b no problem.I can say this from my personal experience as I have done love marriage.I find it covenient than others arranged marriage.
I have loved this topic and want to comment on this.It is said that marriages are made in heaven.I donot know whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage.We are born on 21st century where we can take decisions of our own and can act accordingly.So in this century maximum people go for love marriage and I think it is covenient from every thing.If you love for years you are accustomed with your partners behaviour.So after marriage you face little trouble.You can also convey all your feeling to your partner without hesitation.You wont think what will he/she think if I say this.In love marriage you can express your own views and there will b no problem.I can say this from my personal experience as I have done love marriage.I find it covenient than others arranged marriage.
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firefly43210
- Posts: 388
- Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:44 am
- Location: INDIA
i do not find a difference . use your brain and you will be happy either way . love after marriage is not an uncommon thing . and my experience says all the girls i ever liked or loved were of nearly the same type . so if i choose another girl she would be no exception . in either kind of marriage i would choose the same girl .
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Rhutobello
- Posts: 10724
- Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:39 pm
As long as the marriage is done voluntary from both parts, then I see no wrong with arranged marriage.
If one part is against it, then one violate this persons right to control own life, in an important matter, which shall last a lifetime.......or so they say.
None of the forms of marriage (love or arranged) gives any guaranties that it will be a lasting happy relationship.
For that to occur, you need to enter the relationship with respect for the other person...to understand that you are no longer alone...that your partner have needs and longings just like you, that a marriage is a cooperative where both parts must give and take.
If this happen, then each and one of you want to grow old with your partner, because you learn to trust him/her you are no longer 2...but 1....then your marriage is good
If one part is against it, then one violate this persons right to control own life, in an important matter, which shall last a lifetime.......or so they say.
None of the forms of marriage (love or arranged) gives any guaranties that it will be a lasting happy relationship.
For that to occur, you need to enter the relationship with respect for the other person...to understand that you are no longer alone...that your partner have needs and longings just like you, that a marriage is a cooperative where both parts must give and take.
If this happen, then each and one of you want to grow old with your partner, because you learn to trust him/her you are no longer 2...but 1....then your marriage is good
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enumero123
- Posts: 1006
- Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:13 pm
*I have seen it on a few sides "the Love Marriage" were the couple was all gaga for each other,
*I have seen "arranged" were the families did ( i would say it was more of a long term gentle push (or shove in some cases) as the children are brought togethr from early on and what's starts as joking...oh you to are cute together when you get older you'll get married. (the seed planting arrangement))
*I have also seen it were girls would have to have their fathers approval to court a boy, if dad didnt like the boy the girl never is allowed to date or marry.
All have there upsides and downsides but I have thought about it and
Personally- I think it has to come from the heart, and that heart needs to be tested, before marriage trials show so many things about each other and how you cope under pressure- today that's important to know. Does the one I love truly have my back. My first husband and I had that gushy child love-we fought all the time over the silliest things. we could not handle pressure... I have been remarried 2 months and our time before our marriage was filled with many pressure filled moments and we actually clung to each other and it has been more rewarding
*I have seen "arranged" were the families did ( i would say it was more of a long term gentle push (or shove in some cases) as the children are brought togethr from early on and what's starts as joking...oh you to are cute together when you get older you'll get married. (the seed planting arrangement))
*I have also seen it were girls would have to have their fathers approval to court a boy, if dad didnt like the boy the girl never is allowed to date or marry.
All have there upsides and downsides but I have thought about it and
Personally- I think it has to come from the heart, and that heart needs to be tested, before marriage trials show so many things about each other and how you cope under pressure- today that's important to know. Does the one I love truly have my back. My first husband and I had that gushy child love-we fought all the time over the silliest things. we could not handle pressure... I have been remarried 2 months and our time before our marriage was filled with many pressure filled moments and we actually clung to each other and it has been more rewarding
I have to say I am one of those divorce statistics. In my youth it was all important to find a husband (early) and marry. I had some dreams that I squashed in the rush to marriage. At 19 I believe I was too young to know what I wanted in a lifetime of marriage, although I must say I do take any promise seriously, this one got broken.
I moved right into a second marriage after the separation from the first. I just loved this person and was loved back. I think this is a big part of the relationship - mutual love and respect. If one side is not committed to the marriage then it falls apart. With the love of your life, it is not hard to be there and never falter.
Now I am alone and it 'sucks'. I hope to find a friend to fill my heart. I would have no objection to arrangements by way of introduction.
God bless, J
I moved right into a second marriage after the separation from the first. I just loved this person and was loved back. I think this is a big part of the relationship - mutual love and respect. If one side is not committed to the marriage then it falls apart. With the love of your life, it is not hard to be there and never falter.
Now I am alone and it 'sucks'. I hope to find a friend to fill my heart. I would have no objection to arrangements by way of introduction.
God bless, J
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firefly43210
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- Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:44 am
- Location: INDIA
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enumero123
- Posts: 1006
- Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:13 pm
firefly i believe you are under a 3 personal year good for love ......
.This is a year of expansion and personal growth. It is a time of heightened personal expression. Creativity and artistic talent come to the forefront. You are lighthearted and drawn to all kinds of social events.
More than most other years, you will entertain and be entertained. You meet new and exciting people. It is a time to appreciate all that you have.
You are highly dynamic and charismatic. Your challenge is to avoid scattering your energies. You have a rare opportunity to bring forth new and creative ideas. But that requires discipline and focus.
It is easy to be optimistic and enthusiastic this year and this may result in speeding up your projects. Yet there will be delays and disappointments unless your enthusiasm is based upon the reality of work and concentration.
This is a pleasant time in which friendship is enjoyed and love shared easily.
This is often a good financial year, particularly if your creativity is well directed. Surround yourself with upbeat and positive people.
You may travel more than usual, which in all likelihood will be filled with exciting people and pleasure.
Control this years tendencies towards glamour and extravagance, yet allow your self more room to enjoy and celebrate.
You communicate well this year and are more capable of getting your ideas across.
Love is in the air.
February brings changes; June sees the completion of a project and July signals a new beginning. August can be emotional, as can November.
.This is a year of expansion and personal growth. It is a time of heightened personal expression. Creativity and artistic talent come to the forefront. You are lighthearted and drawn to all kinds of social events.
More than most other years, you will entertain and be entertained. You meet new and exciting people. It is a time to appreciate all that you have.
You are highly dynamic and charismatic. Your challenge is to avoid scattering your energies. You have a rare opportunity to bring forth new and creative ideas. But that requires discipline and focus.
It is easy to be optimistic and enthusiastic this year and this may result in speeding up your projects. Yet there will be delays and disappointments unless your enthusiasm is based upon the reality of work and concentration.
This is a pleasant time in which friendship is enjoyed and love shared easily.
This is often a good financial year, particularly if your creativity is well directed. Surround yourself with upbeat and positive people.
You may travel more than usual, which in all likelihood will be filled with exciting people and pleasure.
Control this years tendencies towards glamour and extravagance, yet allow your self more room to enjoy and celebrate.
You communicate well this year and are more capable of getting your ideas across.
Love is in the air.
February brings changes; June sees the completion of a project and July signals a new beginning. August can be emotional, as can November.
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