Why men always make the life of women miserable

[govardhanvt]

A question had been asked  to me today , why Men always trouble women and make the life of women miserable? Is it a perogative of Men to go away from home without informing the wife? Is it that perrogative of Men to talk ill of women? Why men behave cowardly ? Why can't Men face the situation boldly rather than escaping from the problem?

These sort of question has been asked to me for the past few days by some of my known lady friends for which the answer given by me were not at all acceptable to them

Views on this is solicited

[PixieWitch]

Well... while a lot of men have the tendency to do those things sometimes, not all men. But even if we could stereotype all men into one category, there's no one answer for those questions. What was happening at home to make the man leave and not tell his wife? Were the men speaking ill of women to look cool in front of their buddies? And what is the problem that they won't face head-on? I know plenty of men who are far from cowardly! With all due respect, tell your friends to stop dating losers. They will be much happier... ;)

[ConfusedMind]

men making the life of women miserable!!! who says so!! they are a miserable lot by themselves.

come on govardhanvt, grow up.  i can give you instances of women making a hell out of men's lives. it's not about men and women. it's about individuals. miserable bluntheads always make others' lives misery, no matter whether it's a man or a woman.

[Pravin Kumar]

Goverdhanji,

Read the below mentioned post I just copy pasted:

Man's Voice is a helpline for men because in general they are conditioned or socialised such that they are unable to share their conflicts, sorrows and other mental and emotional pain with another in their family or in their social circuit. If they cry, they are considered to be weak in most societies including the Indian community. Hence, they tend to withold, suppress or repress their feelings even when faced with traumatic situations, break-ups, victimisation due to lop-sided laws concerning their families, which can result in depression. This depression can result in problems in the family and at workplace.

A team of professional counsellors will provide guidance to men, who need a confidential listening ear, and direct them to proper channels if and when needed.

How do I contact a Man's Voice Counsellor?
You can contact them through smses/calls to their mobile phones, through emails or at their websites/portals. At least the first two sessions will be free except where indicated. The fees for the follow up/special sessions will depend on the counsellor. The callers are free to continue with the counsellors or find their own counsellors after the free sessions.


List of Man's Voice Counsellors

1) Dr.Hemant Mittal, Mumbai,
Dr Hemant is a Neuro-Psychiatrist and a Counsellor with a Post Graduate degree in Psychiatric Medicine. His first degree was an MBBS.

He specialises in solving emotional, behavioral, psychological and sexual health issues. The target areas are mostly, relationship management, stress management, anger management, depression, anxiety disorders and psychotic disorder. The management of stress and its induced disorders, involves a medical outlook and solution for problems related to appetite, sleep, memory, irritability, anger, sadness, suicidal tendencies, nervous-breakdowns, sexual disorder, etc.

He lived in South America for 20 years and returned to India to pursue his medical education and interest in psychiatry. In the last 5 years he has dealt with thousands of national and international patients both online and offline. He believes in a new age Psychiatric philosophy, which focuses on solution finding not through tranquilizing medication but by targeting the problem through:
a. psychoanalysis and counseling- using techniques like CBT, NLP, REBT, psychoanalysis, personality analysis
b. if required use low dose, new age, non-sedative, non-addictive medications. The medications can be ayurvedic, homeopathic or allopathic.
c. an informed discussion, and client centric approach solving his condition, by discussing and leting the client choose the treatment modalities.

2) Dr.Pradnya Ajinkya, Mumbai

Has expertise in Individual, Family, Marriage, Child and Adolescent Counselling; Rehabilitaion, and Psycho-Educational Assessments. Dr Pradnya also treats Anger Disorder, Anxiety and Depression, Feeling of Fear, Marriage and Relationship problems, Drugs and Alcohol Abuse, Suicidal Tendency, Stress, Grief and Loss, Incest and Molestation, Family Conflict, Sexual Addiction, Bereavement, and other Human Complexes and Mental Health Problems. Also provides career counselling.

3) Mrs Uma Sridhar, Bangalore


Has a Master's degree in Counseling from the University of South Australia; has worked with teens, adults and families; held motivational classes for youth at risk at schools especially for Singaporean Indian children; and has manned the SOS helplines. She is also a Living Values Education [www.livingvalues.net] trainer, who has done work with youths in Singapore's Reformative Training Centre and conducted Living Values Education trainings for educators.


As per statistic read in Papers Men are the worst suferers. This is because women speak out but men in pain and distress do not speak out and ultimately lose mental balance and even commit suicide. Since the laws of land favouring women more than men eve a wink at a girl from a boy could invite trouble.

True long time back women were more miserable but then times have now changed and women have become more knowledgeable and are seeing the world and also hold high posts in so many organisations. Even the President/Prime Minister of India are/have been Women and also elsewhere

Please contact Pravinji for contact details.

[George]

A question had been asked  to me today , why Men always trouble women and make the life of women miserable? Is it a perogative of Men to go away from home without informing the wife? Is it that perrogative of Men to talk ill of women? Why men behave cowardly ? Why can't Men face the situation boldly rather than escaping from the problem?

These sort of question has been asked to me for the past few days by some of my known lady friends for which the answer given by me were not at all acceptable to them

Views on this is solicited

I agree with Pixiewitch tell you friends to stop dating losers!  overall replace the word "men" with "woman" and you will find it to be accurate too.  people in general can suck when it comes to relationships.

[Rhutobello]

The tittle gives away that the question is done by a woman.....but it can be regarded to us all....when our "lowest common denominator " don't fit.

As humans we are all unique....and even if we sometimes seems to think alike....we seldom do...because our end result is made up from different thoughts, and maybe different goals.

If one person with strong opinions, try to have a discussion with another with equal strong opinions...but opposite, then they seldom will agree on anything.....and both might look with negativity on the other part "because they don't understand a thing", but both think they themselves is "right".

If a couple shall have a meaningful relationship, then both parts must be willing to hear each other out, they must both be willing to adjust their  "stick horses", and give each other the respect a relationship crave for.

Even if man and woman is equal, we have different ways to do thing, inherent by our genes, and our Tradition, but since mankind always is in progress...such thoughts/customs might also change and give seeds for discussions between progressive and more Tradition bound peoples.

From my own milieu I have the impression that men "as group" more fancy Action movies...and woman fancy "Drama.
Men as group love to go on a Soccer game.....woman "hate it..
Woman as group love to go shopping....men hates it.
and so it can go on and on...we are different....and only acknowledgement, and the will to understand each other can make the differences to smooth out.

So to just look for the differences and assume that "all men" makes "Woman miserable" are equal dumb to the men's statement "I can never understand woman"....we must work with it...accept our differences....but try to find "lowest common denominator " that makes us understand each other, love each other, and make a meaningful relationship

[PixieWitch]

Well then he's just a tool who deserves for his wife to dump him!

[govardhanvt]

Well then he's just a tool who deserves for his wife to dump him!

It may not  happen when the woman is God fearing and sincere  to him.

[PixieWitch]

Well in that case, my heart goes out to your friend(s). Sounds like a major imbalance of power. Maybe you could try just listening. We don't always have all the answers and in my experiences, a lot of people just want to talk about their problems. They ask questions, thinking they want the answers. But I think that might be a subconscious way of engaging someone else, for some people.

In other words, a lot of people don't want the advice as much as they want someone to vent to.

[Rhutobello]

If a couple shall have a meaningful relationship, then both parts must be willing to hear each other out, they must both be willing to adjust their  "stick horses", and give each other the respect a relationship crave for.

If this is not done....then the relationship slowly crumble...and accusations toward the other part comes easy.....and "ones owns need" get focus before the "relationship need"....and feeling of cage become stronger.

[govardhanvt]

If a couple shall have a meaningful relationship, then both parts must be willing to hear each other out, they must both be willing to adjust their  "stick horses", and give each other the respect a relationship crave for.

If this is not done....then the relationship slowly crumble...and accusations toward the other part comes easy.....and "ones owns need" get focus before the "relationship need"....and feeling of cage become stronger.

Sometimes the wife (not to hurt confused mind- It can be replaced by the word spouse ) is accused of not telling the truth. In situation the accusing partner never goes ahead and tell the other what truth he/she has . Invariably if the accusing partner is male, he has remedy to get away from home without leaving any information and stay elsewhere overnight and even for days on end, making the other partner life miserable . The accusing partner  never gives room for the the accused partner any chance to explain. But , if the accusing partner  is women, she will not be doing it, at the best she would be beaten by the husband

[ConfusedMind]

Well in that case, my heart goes out to your friend(s). Sounds like a major imbalance of power. Maybe you could try just listening. We don't always have all the answers and in my experiences, a lot of people just want to talk about their problems. They ask questions, thinking they want the answers. But I think that might be a subconscious way of engaging someone else, for some people.

In other words, a lot of people don't want the advice as much as they want someone to vent to.

that is so true PixieWitch. but, don't you think it is very natural? do you really think that this friend of govardhanvt does not know that she should stop dating a loser and dump a husband who goes out without information to date another woman? she knows it well. but she won't do it. she cannot do it. knowing the needful and not being able to live up to that has caused so many tragedies. here is another instance.
I do not agree that she does not do the needful just because she is god fearing or sincere to her husband. I never knew God asks us to tolerate a cheating husband or wife. sincerity? what about your sincerity to the self? if self-sacrifice is the justification, i would like to say that sacrificing is heavenly if you do it for the right reason; making sacrifices for wrong/unworthy reasons is meaningless - almost a crime.

but, life is as the owner treats it. so, give your sincere suggestions and leave it.

[ConfusedMind]

If a couple shall have a meaningful relationship, then both parts must be willing to hear each other out, they must both be willing to adjust their  "stick horses", and give each other the respect a relationship crave for.

If this is not done....then the relationship slowly crumble...and accusations toward the other part comes easy.....and "ones owns need" get focus before the "relationship need"....and feeling of cage become stronger.

Sometimes the wife (not to hurt confused mind- It can be replaced by the word spouse ) is accused of not telling the truth. In situation the accusing partner never goes ahead and tell the other what truth he/she has . Invariably if the accusing partner is male, he has remedy to get away from home without leaving any information and stay elsewhere overnight and even for days on end, making the other partner life miserable . The accusing partner  never gives room for the the accused partner any chance to explain. But , if the accusing partner  is women, she will not be doing it, at the best she would be beaten by the husband

grandpa, what you say is ideological. things happen otherwise also. relationships, especially marriages, are are forced by certain circumstances. you say that not willing to hear each other may cause a relationship crumble. but a relationship may exist just because it cannot be broken easily. where woman is beaten up by her husband, its impossible for her to get rid of the relationship. it's still that savage society where women do read and discuss feminism but have no problem being beaten up.

[Rhutobello]

If a marriage is forced....then it is nothing but a cage.

If one partner mistreat constantly the other part...then it is nothing but a cage

If a marriage can't be broken due to Tradition or belief....and one part want this..then it is a cage.

I am NOT saying that we can't have a quarrel.....quarrel is a way to discuss ones own opinion when they are strong.....but it must be done with words....not with who can hit hardest....and it must be done with respect....so when the quarrel end one adjust accordantly....it is not fair to triumph ones own opinion upon another being all the time....one need to adjust....it has nothing to do with ideological at all.....it is as simple as... you live in a Relationship if both respect each other....you live in a cage if you aren't "pleased" with your Relationship, and can't go away.

[pandu345]

I believe its woman, who make man's life miserable. Man are the scapegoats who should take the burden to make their life and family better.While women are the who enjoy and force many things on man in a marriage. Man cannot force things on them, its very true.

This applies to all new generation marriages in past 5 - 10 years. guys grow up. you dont have better options. Life is life