Men...don't they understand women by now??

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Tue May 15, 2007 3:20 pm

Way too much information! Prof.  LOL

Prof. Akers · Post by **Prof. Akers** » Tue May 15, 2007 4:38 pm

There is a real issue here though.
A cowboy goes into a bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sat there.
'Can I buy you a drink Ma'am?' he asks politely.
' No! Go away.'
'But I only offered to buy you a drink,' he said.
'Look cowboy I'm a lesbian, so leave me alone,' she replied.
'Sorry Ma'am, don't know what a lesbian is,' he replied scratching his head.
So she told him, in very graphic detail, everything that she enjoyed and that she liked doing to others.
When she'd finished she looked at the cowboy and tears were pouring down his face and he was sobbing his heart out.
'What's wrong cowboy?'
'All these years I never realized. I'm a lesbian too.'
The joke illustrates it.  I was talking to a gay friend years ago and I said what do you like about blokes and he went through this list, bristley chin, hairy chest, muscles and then he asked me about women. We sat there both competely puzzled as to what the other saw in their choice.
Women (mostly) like men and we are very easy to understand, I'm either hungry, horny or asleep (according to my wife) some of my friends think I'm amusing, some colleagues think I'm intelligent but my wife knows me better.
I (generally) have one mood and I keep it all month.
For that one fact I thank whoever that I was born a man.

MissEm · Post by **MissEm** » Tue May 15, 2007 10:58 pm

Yr so funny Prof!!  :smt046

our mood swings are there to keep you lot on yr toes and keep you guessing! lol

imranshaikh1 · Post by **imranshaikh1** » Wed May 16, 2007 1:34 am

way WAY to much information...........
this question can be turned around as well.... do women not understand men?
but all this will do is go round in circles........

imranshaikh1 · Post by **imranshaikh1** » Wed May 16, 2007 1:37 am

what do u think missEm

Pravin Kumar · Post by **Pravin Kumar** » Wed May 16, 2007 2:28 am

Because your mood swings we are kept busy appreciating. Once it stops swinging we get bored.

P.Kumar

MissEm · Post by **MissEm** » Wed May 16, 2007 3:00 am

this question can be turned around as well.... do women not understand men?

lol  I tink we understand about men perfectly - yr such a simple lot

Like Prof said, ye either horny, hungry or asleep. lol So what's to work out?  Everything you do is a sub-category of one of those things or a means to getting one of those things. lol

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Wed May 16, 2007 1:37 pm

I am kind of annoyed...doesn't it always boil down to....her once a month visitor?

It is blamed for so many things!  And now, for not understanding her relationships?

Let's face it...there is little difference between men and woman.  What are their goals?  What are their experiences?  And what do they want out of life?

Oldfartcoza · Post by **Oldfartcoza** » Sat Jun 02, 2007 2:33 pm

My wife is woken every morning by me, a back-rub and coffee. I do not receive the same in return, but that really doesn't matter.
Men do not understand women because we think differently, with the other half of the brain.  Trying to think like a woman, for a man, is like a dog trying to think like a cat.
We tend not to be as emotional when things go wrong. We see problems objectively, understanding that things do go wrong. We don't think that everything is going against us when we break a finger nail. To us that's not a crisis, whereas it can reach life-threatening proportions if it happens to a woman.
When I was bitten by a cobra, since I am not afraid of snakes, I was more interested in seeing how long it woud take for the symptoms to appear. My wife called the ambulance. If men thought like women, you'd have no television, no washing machines, no motor vehicles and no Internet where you could ask perfect strangers why men don't think like women.
We don't ... and women cannot think like us: just imagine how boring life would be if we all thought in the same way! You'd know your man's every mood, every move, every word in advance. Is that what you want?

Angelique · Post by **Angelique** » Sat Jun 02, 2007 3:05 pm

Oldfartcoza wrote: When I was bitten by a cobra, since I am not afraid of snakes, I was more interested in seeing how long it woud take for the symptoms to appear.

So how long did it take for the symptoms to appear?

Oldfartcoza · Post by **Oldfartcoza** » Sat Jun 02, 2007 3:37 pm

Well, the ambulance chappies were in a bit of a panic because they expected me to drop dead at their feet, so they drove like a hat without bells to the hospital, some sixty kilometres (about 32 miles) away. I was more afraid that we'd end up in a car smash, so I could not keep my heart rate down. That really spoiled my observations.
Upon arrival I told the doctor to relax, as I had taken an antihistamine tablet, so he would not have to worry about me suffering from anaphylactic shock when he introduced the antivenin. I told him to go about his duties and said I'd let him know when I felt the symptoms coming on.
The symptoms should only have started making their appearance about six hours after the bite. However, I felt my chest starting to close up and my eyes became out-of-focus about three hours after the bite. I was ticked off no end about that because I can normally slow down my heartbeat and lower my body temperature, but the ambulance driver's capers put paid to that for the duration of the trip. If you have never driven on South African roads and been subject to the driving patterns of our taxi drivers, then you cannot appreciate my apprehensions about arriving at the hospital in one piece!

Angelique · Post by **Angelique** » Sat Jun 02, 2007 6:30 pm

Yikes!!!  Sounds a little unnerving to me! And a lot like NYC ambulances in a medical emergency! I'm glad you made it

Prof. Akers · Post by **Prof. Akers** » Sat Jun 02, 2007 7:14 pm

Tricky stuff Oldfart, one assumes you made it or are you a zombie - don't answer that it might upset the more tremulous amongst us. Can't do with any more idiots asking, 'Do you believe in zombies then?'

Oldfartcoza · Post by **Oldfartcoza** » Sun Jun 03, 2007 6:41 am

Thanks for the concern people, much appreciated. Not only did I make it, Angelique, but I saw to it that the cobra went to the reptile area of the local zoological gardens. The medical fraternity here want people, where possible, to bring the snake that bit them (dead or undead) so that it can be identified. I've studied the snakes of our region for forty years, so I do know the difference between a mamba and an earthworm!
Prof, I do believe in zombies: aren't they the things that occupy positions in government and most of the so-called "public service"? It appears to be that way in Africa, in any case.

Prof. Akers · Post by **Prof. Akers** » Sun Jun 03, 2007 2:02 pm

How the hell can you live there? There are snakes! and all sort of other things, it must be as bad as living in Aus. where the spider hide in the rim of the toilet and bite your bum.
I was out walking in California with an Indian friend,we were going through some grass (I had shorts and flip flops on) ad he waited 'til I'd got half way in and then told me we were in rattler country. I knew Gen. Custer had the right idea I was even more certain about Custer when he insisted we trailed a cougar! When I saw it I nealy s&&t myself, I thought they were little bitty cat things not some man ripper.

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