Will I ever see happiness?

txiong · Post by **txiong** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:32 pm

This past year and a half has been really hard for me and my family. I'm in debt, just got a divorce, my father's out of a job barely has any money to support my 5 other siblings (so i have to help of course), my mother is sick and I am having so many emotional problems. Between keeping friends, working and worrying about my family. I know! Got myself wayyyy over my head!

I'm all messed up. Never expected any of this when I was little and guess what I'm only in my mid 20's.

Has this every happen to anyone of you? Where everything just goes wrong  all at the same time. Sometimes I think that I deserved this in some way. I must of caused it somehow in this lifetime or the past. What if I never see happiness? What positive things have you done to slow down the emotional stress and make things better, even after you have tried all that you could?

Rhutobello · Post by **Rhutobello** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:27 pm

Yes....you will see happiness again...how soon depend much on yourself and your expectations.

Yes...your story is "cruel", and life can be very hard sometimes.

NO...it is not your fault! if you haven't literally led them into it, then there is no way you can blame yourself for it...it is just a series of bad events put together, to what now seems like a hopeless situation.

There are a lot of people who experience the same thing, and the best way to fight it is to look for something positive inside it all.
It might be so simple as to fight it with "black humor", saying that you can't bring me down with this...or that there are millions out there who have it worse.

If we let the negative take us, then it burns our energies, and those energies you will need to have for plans and go-ahead spirit.
Try to evaluate the situation, then try to fix it little by little, this will give victories that again fuel your positive attitude.

I am not saying this is easy....I am not saying that you will fix it at once...but I am saying that it will help to look for those thing that is most important to fix, and then work from that. We often want to fix everything at once, and then we feel defeat, and everything will be very hard to change.

It is also important that the family stick together....help each other out...and not go into self pitty....but that you all discuss and get the feeling of "family in real sense"

I wish you all best of luck, and I hope fate again will smile upon you, and give you a lot of happiness!

soulsearch · Post by **soulsearch** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:25 am

Dear Txiong,

I agree with Rhutobello sir wholeheartedly.

In between your lines...there was this colourful smiley that you have inserted. Looking at that smiley I know that things will improve. You know it that life throws these challenges and it really sometimes boils down to 'it isint fair' especially at such an early age.But look at you ..you are working and maintaining friends...you are fighting each day and each day you are emerging stronger.

When things really seem like they arent working out...its just life's ways of making us realise that what positives life has given us ..and being thankful for the same...along with working forward to make a brighter future by knowing that life is indeed beautiful....you are what your thoughts are.

Take Care

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:06 pm

Consider....life throws challenges our way.  At the first one we find ourselves going into a mode of self preservation - blaming others, not seeing our way clear.  Then, like all good (or bad) challenges more comes.  We are now well entrenched in negative thinking.  Guess what! negativity will be the approach we use.  

In other words, the slippery slope of our own consciousness can be our own worst enemy.  We need to be conscious of our thinking, then our choices.  In that way, remaining positive will help us through all challenges.

kiefer · Post by **kiefer** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:21 pm

Hi txiong!

I'm sorry you are having a bad time but as the other people here told you, even in the worst situations, especially in the worst situations, you have to find the strength in you to remain positive somehow and fight against whatever comes next, I know is not easy to do because I have suffered two bad years especially this one and I know how hard can be, but little by little and finding motivation in any place you can find it you can slowly get things getting better again for you and your family.

It may sound too simple but the confidence in ourselves, the maybe "ego" of "this is not going to beat me" can be a powerful tool to overcome the difficulties, I'm not 100% well yet but I know I'm better than I was at the start of the year and the confidence in myself is rising and bringing good things to my life, of course things can't be fixed right away but you really can see how the things start to change when you start to think more positive and clearly believe "Ok, I have gone this down. Now I'm going up all the way." instead of "Things can still get worse...". Believe me, if you believe things can go worse, if you think too much that the things can go worse, they for sure WILL go worse, it has happened to me a lot of times especially in the last 2 years.

Good luck and take care a lot!

Post by **swetha** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:10 pm

hey,
just yest my husband was telling me that there is a law which supports pursuit of happiness... but how do u define happiness? i know its relative but it is upto us to find it. and i am sure u will.
I have been through tough times too. or should i say still going thru it.. but isnt that whats life's all about? just put your thoughts to it and keep your thoughts positive then happiness will knock on your doors!

Wolfie19 · Post by **Wolfie19** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:31 pm

Do you want to?

I have found that the pursuit of peace is really what i am after not happiness- for no one is happy all of the time

Why do you feel you did something horrible in a past life to get this?

Why couldn't you just be receiving the greatest challenge ever of all your 'lives' to go to an even higher level of spirituality? for that is why these things happen-

Not to tell us we are bad- but to reveal our strengths- to at least help you find one

for one of my favorite stories is one by a Native American author- based on ancient tribes

It spoke of a woman who married a man in the tribe who was wonderful- gifted with the vision of the white buffalo- he knew where the best hunting was- he may have been crippled too

of course others were jealous and one woman in particular was the tribal gossiper- she would be a most tenacious pain

This wife had a son by the man- then one day her husband was killed- the tribe suffered food wise- other bad things happened to her

And the gossiper of the tribe jumped at the chance to get the others worked up- the lady with the son was blamed for everything that went wrong- to the point that the tribe was rioting to get her out

I believe her home got destroyed and the lady hid somewhere with her son- to come back to gather her things when it was safer

When she got to her former home- she found food left for her by neighbors who still loved her and those who loved her husband

And as she was searching thru the rubble of her home- she found a container in the wall- that she would not have found if it had not crumbled

It contained jewels and other things of high value- enough for her and her son to live quite well for the rest of their lives

Her husband had been saving up

She could stay in the tribe- she did not have to marry another

the gossiper had nothing else to say- for who can you blame good fortune on?

And as long as you are ok with Christianity (some people are not) there is the story of Lot

for when he lost everything he found out who truly loved him

and it was hard

for everyone left him

he was alone

Truth like that is hard

To help you in you hard times- Do some connecting/bonding with family/friends- to repair a broken heart

to find out what is more important than money

to know you will get thru this- if you want to

we all hit bottom on occassion

others seem to stay

you are here in the mystic forum- there are many ways to help yourself and others

things to help with loss/grief/even debt

Got a skeptic/ignorant one to pay attention to the Healing Crystal/Gems section because of their troubles

Now she won't be dissin me anymore about my Fire Mountain Gem catalog anymore  :smt003 So! i wish you the best- Peace, luv, and lots of happiness!

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 4:43 pm

Fortune Cookie Wisdom:  For every sorrow, there are a thousand joys.

An accumulation of joy adds up to happiness.  If we seek the joy in each and every situation, we are accumulating joys to add to our own happiness.  It is always more comfortable and easier to see the joy than the sorrow.

LittleSalt · Post by **LittleSalt** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 5:58 pm

i am feeling that it is in the perspective for us, where we wish to be standing, and how we allow it to effect our spirits.

the money, for example , it is tuff, and some days are harder than others, but if we allow it to consume us, our spirits can remain broken.

We have a home, we have heat, we have food, we have each other.
We have Love.

I cannot speak to you of how to fix it.
I can share with you my experience.

I have found truth and guidence, in quiet moments.

When i was in the overwhelming feelings of the moment ,
The "poor me" aspect really became strong, i began to "really" forget who i am.

When i turned my focus into "what can i do, for the highest highest good for all ?"
My perspective changed drastically !

I could say this within myself with every experience, and if i could do what i was capable of, with what i had, it really helps to bring the aspect of accepting myself for who i am , and accept that i am doing what i can.

But then , i have to trust my prayers/what i put out to the universe.
and everytime.....
there is an angel/friend/family etc. that just happens (haha i dont believe in coincidences, only divine order) they come and offer whatever it is needed to make it thru till the next moment.

for me it is about living in each moment with a perspective of hope, of faith, of trust.

and i "use to be the poor me", and thru the hard tuff times, including the loss of my mother and grandfather, and grandmother   (my entire support system) gone in 4 months time.... and loss of my good paying job do to health issues of the past.... i am here, i am finding it was the path i needed..... i needed it to grow beyond, to break out of the limits of a system program ...., and thru the experiences i have created, thru my perspective of the moment, i am standing again. We do have hard times with money,I believe we all do, but we have what we need in each moment, for divine order is always there. somehow things always end up ok, how much i resist or embrace is the key ( for me )

i am hopeful that by sharing my experiences it can be of help,

I do believe that what you choose....
is your gift to you/your family/the world.

may your dark moments, be filled with bright, wonderous stars , each sparking endless potential and possibilities.

Many Blessings
LittleSalt

Wolfie19 · Post by **Wolfie19** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:09 pm

LittleSalt wrote:i am feeling that it is in the perspective for us, where we wish to be standing, and how we allow it to effect our spirits.

the money, for example , it is tuff, and some days are harder than others, but if we allow it to consume us, our spirits can remain broken.

We have a home, we have heat, we have food, we have each other.
We have Love.

I cannot speak to you of how to fix it.
I can share with you my experience.

I have found truth and guidence, in quiet moments.

When i was in the overwhelming feelings of the moment ,
The "poor me" aspect really became strong, i began to "really" forget who i am.

When i turned my focus into "what can i do, for the highest highest good for all ?"
My perspective changed drastically !

I could say this within myself with every experience, and if i could do what i was capable of, with what i had, it really helps to bring the aspect of accepting myself for who i am , and accept that i am doing what i can.

But then , i have to trust my prayers/what i put out to the universe.
and everytime.....
there is an angel/friend/family etc. that just happens (haha i dont believe in coincidences, only divine order) they come and offer whatever it is needed to make it thru till the next moment.

for me it is about living in each moment with a perspective of hope, of faith, of trust.

and i "use to be the poor me", and thru the hard tuff times, including the loss of my mother and grandfather, and grandmother (my entire support system) gone in 4 months time.... and loss of my good paying job do to health issues of the past.... i am here, i am finding it was the path i needed..... i needed it to grow beyond, to break out of the limits of a system program ...., and thru the experiences i have created, thru my perspective of the moment, i am standing again. We do have hard times with money,I believe we all do, but we have what we need in each moment, for divine order is always there. somehow things always end up ok, how much i resist or embrace is the key ( for me )

i am hopeful that by sharing my experiences it can be of help,

I do believe that what you choose....
is your gift to you/your family/the world.

may your dark moments, be filled with bright, wonderous stars , each sparking endless potential and possibilities.

Many Blessings
LittleSalt

i really love what you said- to me it says more of what i wish i had expressed- thank you for your words

LittleSalt · Post by **LittleSalt** » Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:47 am

wolfie19, it is our ways to speak what we feel in our hearts,and to share from our experiences.  i had been led to share this after reading your reply to this post. so i thank you , for sharing what you shared,
for it indeed made movemnet. and movement .....
it is always good !

many blessings to you
LittleSalt

Post by **swetha** » Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:18 pm

thank you for your posts. sometimes I wonder why did I start this forum. and its moments like these that make it worthwhile. dont know if i deserve to know such good people

thanks once again.

stormbay · Post by **stormbay** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 1:02 am

G'day Txiong , you've had some good advice in this thread. Taking a lateral approach, happiness is a state of mind and no matter what your situation you can find a form of happiness within it. All you have to do is accept things as they are and then work for change to have a positive effect, taking into account the circumstances and the time frame required to change them. Of course you could also take another approach and leave your situation for a better one outside your comfort zone and then help from there. This would give you the opportunity to create a new start, reduce the burden on your family, yet help support them in what ways you can. Economic, ecological and social life are going to get worse for the forceable future and nothing anyone says, thinks or wishes will change that reality.

To ensure you have a happy future, you have to create it yourself, then that happiness will inspire others to create their own. If they don't, then they are best left to themselves and you should concentrate on a future for you and future family which is the priority, to enable your children to attain happiness and contentment. Provide an example for those who rely upon you for their future, don't follow or be dictated to by others, all it will do is make things in the future worse. Happiness in life, is a part of the art of change and the only form of perfection is responsible change, as we see throughout this dimensional universe. Only change brings happiness and growing, everything else is repetitive disharmony. We either create our future, or become a victim of it. You'll be right, just have a go.

larachew · Post by **larachew** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:12 am

hi txiong,

dun think so much about the negativity as it is easy to be self absorbed and give up hope. think of the good things ahead of u. u r still young and you have a great future of u!

life is never easy and thats why we are interested to know what future lies for us. if its good, we smile. if its bad, we sulk n seek help to see if changes are possible. there is a saying that fate lies in your own hands. even if life is not good to you, you can make it better! dont u think so?

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:10 pm

If we had only the good things (our judgement) happen in our life, where would the lessons of challenge come in?  Perhaps the secret is to find the joy in ALL the happenings of life.  Acknowledge that they are teaching us the lessons we need and move into our own solutions of joy in all things.

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