Bad Karma and the "Ex-Wife"

Aymeesue · Post by **Aymeesue** » Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:54 pm

Hi everyone.  I'm new to these forums and I need some advice...My boyfriends ex-wife copies everything I do.  From my hair style, make-up and even my hobbies....Their oldest daughter, who is 12, reports back to her and I am starting to not feel comfortable when they are around.  

Does anyone know of any karmic action that I could use from my end that would end her obsessive behavior without anything "bad" coming back on me???

Thanks in advance for any advice you may have.

NAAANEE · Post by **NAAANEE** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:13 am

feel proud for that.nobody can mimic exactly of you totally are.if one is following you so perfectly means,many likes to follow you.You set high standards for yourself.Everybody starts loving you.In our country if a picture got hit then our people follow the dress & hair styles of hero & heroine of that picture.
You keep on appreciating her for following you.Someday she will stop following you.You try this experiment!

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:53 am

Why are you worried and feeling uncomfortable about it?  As always, she is a teacher for you, acting as a mirror, holding it up and reflecting back to you, reflecting back your behavior, so that you can learn a lesson.  Follow your emotional trail backward  until you reach the end.  If this bothers you, it is about you, not her.  (She on the other hand, has her own lessons to learn, that have nothing to do with you, other than you are her teacher.)  Are you insecure about who you are, and the relationship you are in?  Do you feel less than?  Lack?  Fear?  If not, stand tall and be who you are, proudly, without thought of what anyone else is doing.   When you learn what you need to know, she'll 'disappear', or her actions won't concern or bother you anymore.  Love yourself, love her, and allow for change.  That is the  only 'karmic' solution that will not harm anyone.

Aymeesue · Post by **Aymeesue** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:52 am

KGirl...

Thank you so much for enlightening me..I never looked at it that way..She is a teacher of the way "I" am and I should be learning from that...

There is nothing wrong with my emotional trail or my relationship...We are very happy...I think that is why this has started to bother me so much...(and that is probably just what she wants)

I have always been very independent and unique..I never tried to "copy" anyone...If anythinhg, I always tried to be different...I guess I just don't understand that type of behavior...

I have told myself over the past three years that its "my life" and "my future" and that is what matters.  It doesn't matter that she is trying to be me...After awhile, you start to second guess yourself...

I am glad I posted to this forum..You have given me perspective and put me back on track...

I love the last part of your post:::   "Love yourself, Love Her, and allow for change...

Thank you......

Rising_Sun · Post by **Rising_Sun** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:07 pm

Well, they say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, but i doubt that's your case. I don't mean to offend you, but did it occur to you that the reason she's doing this might be because she wants to steal your boyfriend back? I know it sounds wacko but this woman doesn't seem to be very sane in my opinion. Anyway, I think kgirlsmomma gave her the best advice, just ignore her and I'd also recommend you that - just in case - chant protective mantras to protect yourself an your relationship

NAAANEE · Post by **NAAANEE** » Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:09 pm

Rising_Sun wrote:Well, they say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, but i doubt that's your case. I don't mean to offend you, but did it occur to you that the reason she's doing this might be because she wants to steal your boyfriend back? I know it sounds wacko but this woman doesn't seem to be very sane in my opinion. Anyway, I think kgirlsmomma gave her the best advice, just ignore her and I'd also recommend you that - just in case - chant protective mantras to protect yourself an your relationship

yes,what you have said is true.We generally feel uneasy when people around us follow dito to dito.And especially when we are against copying something & wants to be in our own way it hurts us further more when we see such copying cats.But whatever may be the thing the hurt is causing because of our own thinking & attitude towards that person.If we feel ourselves in a heroic image then we feel happy at somebody following us-it is just the change in the attitude that matters.If for a person to change their attitude is difficult then they get perturbed by every small incident and there by loosing their mental peace.So we have to love everybody because we will be at peace & happy unbothered about their actions! so kgirlsmomma has rightly said it in few words!

Rising_Sun · Post by **Rising_Sun** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:38 am

NAAANEE wrote: yes,what you have said is true.We generally feel uneasy when people around us follow dito to dito.And especially when we are against copying something & wants to be in our own way it hurts us further more when we see such copying cats.But whatever may be the thing the hurt is causing because of our own thinking & attitude towards that person.If we feel ourselves in a heroic image then we feel happy at somebody following us-it is just the change in the attitude that matters.If for a person to change their attitude is difficult then they get perturbed by every small incident and there by loosing their mental peace.So we have to love everybody because we will be at peace & happy unbothered about their actions! so kgirlsmomma has rightly said it in few words!

I find it completely normal to be disturbed in the original poster's case, given that her imitator is the ex-wife of his boyfriend who's using her daughter as a sort of spy. it's honestly sort of freaky.

In regards to your first post, well, i just don't agree with it at all. I believe that absolutely everyone has to be themselves, no one should copy. The beauty standars set up by society are obviously messed up and are responsible for many people's eating disorders and illnesses. A lot of people feel bad about themselves because they don't look like the models on the cover of fashion magazzines and because of this are likely to end up either with depression or self esteem issues.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:47 pm

Eating disorders, low self-esteem, bad body image, illness, jealousy, rage....and the list goes on..are manifestations of this earth Spirituality teaches you that you are truly not of this earth, but of something much bigger. Spirituality teaches you to rise above these negative things on this earth. All that remains, all that ever was, the only true 'cure' for anything is love. Love for oneself, and others. Jealousy, rage, all negative emotions are lessons of love learned thru dichotomy...or thru doing the opposite. Or learning the hard way. Its easier to learn the easy way...of course, learn to love thru being loved, but some people have to learn to love thru being hated...knowing they don't like to be treated that way, so they do not treat others that way. This poor ex-wife, doesn't love herself..she doesn't know who she is, so she is trying to be something she is not...She'll eventually figure it out, but as you can see...it is the hard path. The only true thing, the original poster can do, is love this lost soul, doing her no harm, and allowing her to find herself, all the while the original poster maintains her itegrity showing that she understands love.

NAAANEE · Post by **NAAANEE** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 2:53 pm

Rising_Sun wrote: I find it completely normal to be disturbed in the original poster's case, given that her imitator is the ex-wife of his boyfriend who's using her daughter as a sort of spy. it's honestly sort of freaky.

In regards to your first post, well, i just don't agree with it at all. I believe that absolutely everyone has to be themselves, no one should copy. The beauty standars set up by society are obviously messed up and are responsible for many people's eating disorders and illnesses. A lot of people feel bad about themselves because they don't look like the models on the cover of fashion magazzines and because of this are likely to end up either with depression or self esteem issues.

I am really unaware of the actual reality in her life.Then it is really sad ting about that copying lady.I think may be she is realising the importance of her ex-husband.I think that lady is in highly confused state & doing these type of crazy things.We have to really pity for her abnormal behaviour.What you have said about the habits too is true.Kgirlsmomma has given the spiritual insight too of what you have said.

NAAANEE · Post by **NAAANEE** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 2:59 pm

kgirlsmomma wrote:Eating disorders, low self-esteem, bad body image, illness, jealousy, rage....and the list goes on..are manifestations of this earth Spirituality teaches you that you are truly not of this earth, but of something much bigger. Spirituality teaches you to rise above these negative things on this earth. All that remains, all that ever was, the only true 'cure' for anything is love. Love for oneself, and others. Jealousy, rage, all negative emotions are lessons of love learned thru dichotomy...or thru doing the opposite. Or learning the hard way. Its easier to learn the easy way...of course, learn to love thru being loved, but some people have to learn to love thru being hated...knowing they don't like to be treated that way, so they do not treat others that way. This poor ex-wife, doesn't love herself..she doesn't know who she is, so she is trying to be something she is not...She'll eventually figure it out, but as you can see...it is the hard path. The only true thing, the original poster can do, is love this lost soul, doing her no harm, and allowing her to find herself, all the while the original poster maintains her itegrity showing that she understands love.

You have rightly said the things about love & the integrity.But most of the people are looking for shortcuts which gives temporary results rather than right methods which gives him good results in the long run.I do not know how many have the patience to practice the virtue "love"!

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 5:31 pm

The consequences when we don't are obvious and severe in our own lives.  We respond to all things with only 2 emotions - love or fear.  Each of our emotions fits into one catagory or the other.  Living in Love is living in light.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:51 am

True.  Some have ALL the patience in the universe to fight tho, don't they?

NAAANEE · Post by **NAAANEE** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 3:17 pm

spiritalk wrote:The consequences when we don't are obvious and severe in our own lives. We respond to all things with only 2 emotions - love or fear. Each of our emotions fits into one catagory or the other. Living in Love is living in light.

nice definition.I think true love really opens the wisdom of everybody.Otherwise Jesus has not told us about right cheek & left cheek,forgiving enemies etc....

NAAANEE · Post by **NAAANEE** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 3:18 pm

kgirlsmomma wrote:True. Some have ALL the patience in the universe to fight tho, don't they?

they are born warriors of Love.

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:59 pm

Karma is not a punishment.  Karma is the working of the natural law of cause and effect.

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