Is kissing someone else passionately while being married Cheating?

believer · Post by **believer** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:44 am

Since being married for awhile, I've lost a lot of my "men" friends and most of my girlfriends think like I do, so while talking with my husband, he mentioned that his friend (married a long time) made out (kissing) with another women.  I said that he was cheating!  My husband didn't see it that way, so it made me think - am I outdated and what a better place than Mysticboard to get the opinions of all walks of life.

I appreciate everyone's time to comment and look forward to many more.

Believer

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:34 pm

Maybe this couple has an 'open' arrangement??????  Just a thought.....

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:59 pm

The cheating took place in the mind first.  Any man that thinks its ok to be kissing another woman passionately is someone without a commitment to his relationship.  He is already cheating in his mind.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:50 am

Would I like my significant other kissing another woman passionnately? No, I would not...However, for the sake of an open debate and healthy argument, calling it cheating is a judgment and perception of the situation.  Ego self wishes to judge and give this a name 'cheating' because ???  It doesn't feel this right, makes us uncomfortable?  And for me it wouldn't be right in my relationship...but maybe the married couple have an open arrangement in what they view as their commitment to each other, whereby this is acceptable to them. If she would not like it, and she is harmed by it, then he is acting without integrity & honor. If she doesn't feel harmed, doesn't mine, and it is acceptable in their relationship, then ultimately my spirit self should not judge.

To me, and maybe Believer can answer this, the question is, does the woman feel harmed or not? Does she consider it cheating?

spiritalk · Post by **spiritalk** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:34 pm

I agree we apply judgements to most situations.  But I believe we were asked how we felt.  

Cheating is a sore topic with many people who have had marriages that collapsed because of it.  And once the mind wanders, the body is sure to follow.  The spirit is put under a bushel of denial.

Mandimedea · Post by **Mandimedea** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 5:42 am

Well, it isn't intercourse, but to me there are different forms of cheating.  Kissing someone while drunk is poor judgement and if it doesn't happen again, then I would chalk it up to a bad mistake.  If this is something this person does often, or wants to continue to do then that is more complex.  If you are hurting someone, you need to think before you cross that line.  What led up to that kiss, is there something more going on would be the ?

firetopaz · Post by **firetopaz** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 5:51 am

I try to put the shoe on the other foot....If you are in a relationship and found your partner involved in a passionate kiss with someone else...How would it make you feel?  Would you want to make someone you care about feel that way?

PrettySiren · Post by **PrettySiren** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:13 pm

I definitely believe kissing someone else in any romantic or sexual manner is cheating. So, passion, in the romantic/sexual sense would definitely constitute cheating.

Anecdote time: When I was with my ex, his male friends would kiss him all the time in front of me. They were trying to see what I'd do/say, I think. But I would just shake my head, because my ex didn't like it. And whether his friends liked it or not didn't matter to me, because , my then-boyfriend didn't and that was all that mattered to me. Granted, I wished they wouldn't, because of their intentions. Either they wanted me to yell at my ex or they were trying to make passes at him. Either reason wasn't very nice.

But yeah. It's definitely cheating.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Wed Mar 11, 2009 12:25 am

But you passed a 'spiritual test' in a sense Pretty Siren...Remember, NO one can make you do, or feel anything but you.  Because you 'accepted' it..didn't allow it to push your buttons...whatever they intended 'failed'.

Also...I'm still waiting for the original poster to reply...Does this particular couple consider it 'cheating'?  Or do they have an open arrangement and agreement?  Then, it wouldn't be..because the parties involved 'agree'.

Cody5202 · Post by **Cody5202** » Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:23 am

There is true beauty here, passion is a beautifull illusion, i see no problem with it, mainly because there isnt anything to really see in the first place.

The mind creates the template for this action to manifest into materiality, Yeah its our reaction that creates the illusory concept, that which is in this case: cheating.
, and the question was if kissing someone passionately while still being married, is considered cheating?

No it is not, its pain, it invariably boils down to sensing a lack of something, of course theres these different qualities of pain, but really  it will allways be based on the same fundamental: fear  

because fear is the underlying concept, the first coat of paint that we color our entire life with.  Not a bad thing,  

I guess what im trying to say here is this, Feeling love for something in the physical form could be labeled cheating, or it could be called an experience of true joy, true unconditional love and beauty.
theres anunlimited number of possiblities, within the infinite.  i would say if we react to these possibilities with more dual spectrumed perceptions, We are just creating an energetic waste.  Many many options.

an add on:

Most people are to concerned with their flaws and frailities, to even begin to grasp what many people are conceptualizing is possible for them, even many of the people ( including myself) giving the advice are all in this space together where we are trying to help others, to be the best, that we would like to be.

believer · Post by **believer** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 1:18 am

Sorry I haven't answered sooner, the couple does not have an open agreement.  I believe the wife doesn't know.  I agree that the thought had to be there before the alcohol was - but that again is my thoughts.

Believer

amalimrock · Post by **amalimrock** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 12:02 pm

I'd say yes

lilanarchy · Post by **lilanarchy** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:18 pm

kissing others while married is such an old question. although i do believe that a emotional passionate kiss is cheating other forms such as a kiss goodbye on the cheek or a peck on the lips is not

angelite · Post by **angelite** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 7:40 am

most def cheating

boondoggy · Post by **boondoggy** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:53 pm

OF COURSE it is.!!!!
It doesn't matter how you look at it, a passionate involvement with someone outside of a  marriage is a betrayal of the sacred vow that forms the very heart of the commitment of marriage.
Even in a "so called" open marriage it reflects publicly as a sign of a failing union. The act of kissing someone outside of the partnership shows a lack of faith in a partner. It is interpreted publicly as a smear against the other partner who is then held in a lower level of public esteem.

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Is kissing someone else passionately while being married Cheating?

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