Dipping my toe in the water

[MzFancyPantz2u]

I am looking to make spiritual connections.  I am suffering due to a recurring family issue and need direction.  I am a 46 year old Momma who struggles with my traumatic past and I can't help but feel hurt that no one was ever held responsible for damaging me.
I was just  turned down for a good job/career because they did a background check and my estranged family said something that caused them to rescind the offer of employment.
Why do I feel like this is just another stab from my parents (from the grave)?
Why do I not get visits from my mother who died 4 years ago and hasn't come to me to say she understands now and believes me?  Is it possible that she has something to say to me but I cannot grasp it?
Please help.  
Feeling desperate

[eye_of_tiger]

Dear MsFancyPants,

While I understand that you are desperate to make a spiritual connection, this board is only designed for you to introduce yourself.

Currently your supposed introduction is filled with so much negativity and so many self sabotaging beliefs, that you are effectively being blocked from making the spiritual connection which you say that you are wanting to make.

Could you please first introduce yourself properly? We would like to get to know the person better behind your screen name. Look at some of the intros posted by other members as a general guide to what we are looking for here.

Post your introduction as a reply to this posting. Leave the original one exactly where it is. Once I have seen it which might be on Friday morning as I do not work online on Thursdays, I will then direct you to the correct board for making such a request.

Regards,

eye_of_tiger (EoT)