Devistating Dream

[johnswifey86]

Just recently I found out that my husband has a anti-social personality disorder (he's a sociopath). I had a dream today that I think had to do w/ that situation. I dreamed that I was in our apartment, and in the dream I felt like I was trapped there. I also felt like I was waiting...waiting for my husband  to come and rescue me...or the husband I want him to be. Kind and loving, empathetic w/ emotions. But my husband was there, but it was the version of my husband how he is now. The narcasitic, unremorseful, dettached, emotionless man he is. He was there w/ me...and in the dream I didn't hear him say this but I FELT (if that makes sense) him say "I will never be the husband you want me to be, i'm never going to change". So after I felt him say that I began to feel hopeless like i'm always going to have to deal w/ life w/ him the way it is now...forever. So I went on and started trying to move around furniture (which didn't make sense to me). In my real life, I hope and wait for him to get treatment. He tells me he is but I feel he's lying.

[Rook]

Hi Johnswifey

I think rearranging the furniture is probably related to rearranging your attitudes and how you express yourself considering his condition.

I have also done some research on sociopaths and cure's for their condition as I suspect someone I know is one after a tipoff, and this person certainly ticks all the boxes.  Due to my family duties have to deal with this person so rather than cures I have had to figure out how to deal with this type of person.

I think your dream is telling you something, and I think a little researching causes and treatment for sociopaths might help reveal that message.

Best of luck,
Rook

[sweetsunray]

I'm not a psychologist or psychiater, and I encourage you to inform yourself as good as possible... but a little search shows that the general medical assessment about these type of socio personality disorders are not just incurable but untreatable, and that it makes someone with such a pathology only better in pretending and mirroring expected behaviour until they're of the hook. And I think your dream is telling you that too... your husband has a lifetime pathology for which there is no medicine, and it's almost impossible to treat it with therapy. One of the characteristics of someone with this pathology is their narcism and how punishment or anger doesn't influence them.

And as Rook has said, this painful confrontation requires you to readjust your position towards him. Furniture is about how you feel about yourself and relate to family, and how the relationship fits into your life. To move the furniture means you are going out of your way to please others: you are fitting your life to their needs. The furniture moving indicates you continue to adapt to him, but the dream also makes clear it's not the other way around. So, then he's basically making you live for him. He's not forcing you. You are doing this out of your own accord.  

As I said, I'm not a doctor, but I think you should see one for yourself. If your husband has this personality disorder, then that implicates you've probably experienced lies about the silliest stuff, feelings of guilt for not liking how he uses your assets, the trouble you might get into because of impulsive actions, the worry and insecurity of what is going to happen next. This eats away at your self-image, your energy reserves. Please, find someone professional to talk about all the things you've pent up, that you gave up on to talk over with him and are too scared of to tell other people because "they wouldn't understand". You gained a big hint of a problem that probably will never go away. It is time to do something for yourself for once.

[johnswifey86]

Well I think you guys really hit the nail on the head. Sweetsunray your are right about me rearranging my life and myself for him. I do; do it not becuz he's forced me but I do it for my own sanity. I walk on eggshells around him just so there won't be some kind of issue. I have acctually started seeing a counsler, and that same counseler acctually helped me in coming to the conclusion that my husband has this anti social personalit disorder. I told her the things he says, the things he told me he feels, etc. I've only had 2 sessions w/ her so far but I really think it's going ot help. And I really appreciate ya'll for taking the time to read this and reply, and helping me try to figure out the dream. I am going to post another dream I just had w/in the last 2 nights so maybe ya'll can help me w/ that one too. Thank you so mcuh have a great day