$200 for gas

[happyme]

I was driving around looking for a gas station then I found one and handed the gas attendant $200 and told her to fill up the tank. My hands were shaking and trembling when I handed over the money. Then I was in the convenience store of the gas station doing a transaction over the counter, but there was a mad man trying to distract me until eventually I addressed him and said look sir I'm trying to do business here, but in midsentence he attacked me, he slammed both of his fists on my left shoulder/heart area and the attack felt like it was really happening it felt like I was having a heart attack, but then I got angry and mentally pictured myself slamming my fists hard on him and suddenly he was on the floor doubled up in pain, I asked him what's your name, he told me the name of my last ex then I woke up. Everything in that dream felt so real as if it had actually happened, and all the sensations like feeling nervous/anxious/jittery and having shaky hands when giving over the $200, when the mad man attacked me the pain felt so real, etc. It was like it actually happened.

[eye_of_tiger]

Happy (you?),

Both the gas itself as well as the money you are paying to buy it with are dream symbols representing energy used in your waking life. And $200 unless you have a gas guzzling pre 1980s car does suggest to me that whatever is bothering you and is giving rise to this dream, is also consuming huge amounts of emotional energy which you can ill afford to waste in the process.

The part of the dream where the mad man gave his name as that of your ex was especially informative, and helpful to better understanding the message(s) contained within it.

It seems to me based entirely upon this one isolated dream (which instantly brings into question how reliable or otherwise my interpretations might be) that you are still carrying with you a huge burden or feeling of personal guilt that you were through your own actions and/or words responsible for the relationship having failed. Whether or not your ex still holds this against you or indeed whether it is true that you were responsible, it does not matter to your dreaming mind.

Your inner dream director has created a melodrama or night time soap opera to help you release some of these negative feelings of guilt which to a large degree you do not need or deserve to have to continue carrying around with you like a prisoner's ball and chain, so that you are then free to get on with the rest of your love life without this excess negative emotional baggage constantly weighing you down.

As well as guilt you are evidently experiencing anger and frustration that you have not been able to deal with these outstanding issues so far, so this dream is probably just what your doctor would have ordered as a prescription for your optimum emotional health. Anger used constructively to make whatever necessary improvements in your life are required is always a good thing.

If on the other hand you turn that anger back upon yourself, depression is often the result. If alternately you turn your anger outwards towards your ex (in our dreams our normal social inhibitions about the use of physical violence or force to get revenge on another person are temporarily suspended), then you will at some still to be determined future time have these negative energies returned to you in full force, but only after having been magnified many times over.

This dream scenario is I feel trying to communicate these important mental health and spiritual principles to you in a relatively safe and insulated environment where neither you nor your ex can come to any lasting harm, as a form of inner self therapy with the healing purpose to prepare you for happier and more emotionally satisfying future relationships with other partners.

Salutations,

EoT  :smt015