Very vivid impactful dream?

[Vendetta]

Last night I had a very impactful dream and was wondering if anyone could help me analyze it or is it just something insignificant?

Yesterday I was feeling very depressed and unsatisfied with life and everything seemed pretty dull. I also felt a longing feeling for excitment and adventure, I went to sleep purposefully early so I wouldn't have to be conscious.

Anyways, my dream was initially set in a bright happy place that looked like where I live, I don't remember the details but I took a plane with someone to this new place. It was very cloudy and was becoming night. Everything had a surreal/grungy type look to it.

I know me and the person I was with were on a mission for something. I remember that their was murder and death involved.

While lots of the dream and detail is foggy I clearly remember being in a courtyard that was mostly grey with little color but had flowers. I remember there being lots of dead people in the courtyard (I think me and the person I was with may of killed them). I remember one person was on the ground any they caught my attention. I don't know if they were dead or unconscious but they were perfect in both appearance and hygiene (other people their were dirty).

I leaned down and kissed this person and I remember it feeling "perfect". There was a first aid kit box beside this person and inside it was an unusually large syringe  filled with a brown liquid that I concluded was heroin (i've had a past heroin addiction though not anymore).

I remember wanting to inject the heroin but being scared not knowing the dose. I kept tieing a sock around my arm as a tourniquet but it never tied and it was angering me. I put the needle in my backpack and forgetting it.

I can't remember what happened in between but I put the syringe in my bag. I got home and realized that the syringe was mostly empty but I was under the impression that one dose was left but instead I just squirted it out even though I wanted to do it.

-------

I awoke feeling it was the perfect dream and I was completely happy "in that world" but reflecting on it later the dream was very dark except I can't stop thinking of the person I kissed and how perfect it was and I feel a very strong connection to this person and can't stop thinking about them.

Does this person have any significance? If I remember this person can I program them into my head (such as mantras for lucid dreaming) and maybe see them again in the dream world?

[Rook]

Vendetta

The death and dreariness in the dream may be a reflection of your view of the world being "dead and dreary" from the sound of your introduction.  Perhaps it is that you are focusing on that side of the world rather than the bright flowers.  You are seeing the death and decay and not the bright life.

I once was told of a study undertaken to analyse if people felt they were lucky were, and those that felt unlucky were unlucky.  What they did was hid $5 in a walkway that the test subjects had to walk through to get to the test.  Then they filled out a survey of whether they felt like they were a luck person or unlucky person.  The study showed that generally (though there were exceptions) people who had a positive outlook and felt lucky found the monies, those who felt unlucky and had a negative view didn't find the money.

This is the kind of picture I am getting from the dream.

Was it your desire for excitement and adventure that led to your heroin habit?  I know that was a driver for some of the people I used to know who turned to drugs.  To escape from the daily grind.  It is certainly a path I am glad I avoided having seen what it did to those peoples lives who chose that path, and I commend you for what the dream shows - of squirting it out although you wanted to do it.

Its funny looking back I think I felt the same way as you do, life seemed so meaningless and boring, so absent of adventure.  I turned to computer games and movies to escape to a world of adventure.  But looking back and remembering some of the adventures I had - it was amazing and fantastic and so filled with incredible possibilities, but I was afraid at the time and did not take any risks.  All the girls I liked I could have talked to, all the friendships I could have made.  Now I have a 9-5 daily job, and I have kids to raise...

And I finally see the adventure of my life and how great it is.  It is in that journey, even in the daily grind that I see my adventure now, and it is a great drama, and so many things happen to me that I would have used to have viewed as part of the depressing tale of an adventureless life.  Its just that I am not fighting literal dragons.  These ones are much meaner and crueler, and the consequences far more real, far more dire.  The suspense is more real because the good guy might not get through in this unwritten script, in movies you know its all going to be okay in the end... well not always I guess.

Well anyhow, the dream seems to be portraying the dark view you have of the world, but there is perfection in it, and colour.  Perhaps there is some part of life you see shining as a beacon, but perhaps aren't thinking about that at the moment?

Whats your thoughts?
Rook