God speaking directly to me

[marlena]

In my waking life, I'm working through a rough patch of depression. I will be seeking professional help and hope to get a firmer handle on my issues.  Last night, I had a dream in which the Higher Power assumed the bodily form of a mega-gigantic angel/God like apperance and was speaking to ME. In the dream, he (seemed male) told me to please stop worrying. To not feel so dispondent that I want to end my life. Because I am supposed to help people, but not in the way that I have been doing. To give myself a break and a chance and just hold on.

We both transported to my mom's home, where she was on the phone and she was just talking about me to a total stranger. Sayimg that I was lazy, selfish and greedy and basically everything was cruel and negative and so damn heartbreaking. God then told me as he held me close to NOT, under any circumstance, return home. Not even live anywhere that makes me remotely reachable. He was hugging me so tight as I heard her talking about me and slamming my character, that I was crying. The deep to you soul crying. It then that Iwoke up in actual tears.

Any one's interpretation is welcome. Thank you for reading this and your input.

[eye_of_tiger]

In my waking life, I'm working through a rough patch of depression. I will be seeking professional help and hope to get a firmer handle on my issues.  Last night, I had a dream in which the Higher Power assumed the bodily form of a mega-gigantic angel/God like apperance and was speaking to ME. In the dream, he (seemed male) told me to please stop worrying. To not feel so dispondent that I want to end my life. Because I am supposed to help people, but not in the way that I have been doing. To give myself a break and a chance and just hold on.

We both transported to my mom's home, where she was on the phone and she was just talking about me to a total stranger. Sayimg that I was lazy, selfish and greedy and basically everything was cruel and negative and so damn heartbreaking. God then told me as he held me close to NOT, under any circumstance, return home. Not even live anywhere that makes me remotely reachable. He was hugging me so tight as I heard her talking about me and slamming my character, that I was crying. The deep to you soul crying. It then that Iwoke up in actual tears.

Any one's interpretation is welcome. Thank you for reading this and your input.

Marlena,

Some dream like experiences do not need interpretation using somebody else's dream dictionary of the meanings of the different symbols. Your first paragraph in bold print is exactly what it appears to be, and I would advise you to take everything it tells you as being the truth. You have just had a deep personal encounter with your Higher Self or Higher Power. It is that small part of God which exists in all of us and getting in direct contact with it is the royal road to your eventual recovery from this depression.

The second paragraph however is a distortion or twisted version of the real message which your HS is wanting to give you. It has been distorted or twisted by your own mind and fear into something that it was never meant to mean.

YES you do need to distance yourself as much as possible from the negative effects of the harsh and grossly unfair criticism and psychological abuse which you apparently got from your mother when you were still growing up, but NO you do not necessarily need to never return home or stop having any further contact with her in the future, unless of course the criticism and abuse is so extreme and ongoing that breaking all connections with her is your only safe and workable choice.

Your Higher Self is trying to comfort and encourage you to keep going with your recovery from the depression, as well as in reclaiming your God given right to decide what is in your best interests, and rediscovering what a gentle and kind and beautiful soul you are deep down where some people like your mother may not be able to recognise this.

Only if the abuse and criticism from your mother is especially severe and still continuing with no sign of it ever getting less hurtful, should you even consider breaking off all further contact and communication with her.

If her criticism and abuse is now at a more tolerable level, by all means limit what contact you have with your mother until you can develop a thicker protective skin to help protect you from people like her, of which there will never be any shortage even after she has passed.

Love, Light and Healing,

EoT  :smt059

[marlena]

It's been almost 4 months and prior to that, close to three years since my mother and I actually talked. No malice, she is completely involved in dwelling on negative feelings and the like daily. If I have to talk to her and she goes in that direction,  I can always end the call. That much I can do. I always appreciate your insight and well wishes. Thank you love!

[Rook]

Hi Marlena

Thought I would add my two cents.

I believe that getting professional help when it comes to depression is always a good idea.

In terms of the dream, the mother's house could be referring to the part of your subconscious that your relationship with your mother has effectively "programmed" into your psyche.  Do you have an inner voice that ever says these things to yourself?  Is there a negative voice in your head telling you these things?  It would not surprise me if there was as our parents have a very large influence upon what we think of ourself, and set up a lot of our unconscious programming without them or us realising it.

I believe, as EoT, your higher Self is directly intervening and saying this isn't a cool house (thought pattern) to visit, and that you need to break contact with it (stop this negative thought spiral).  It is also providing you with much needed comfort and support.

You need to silence this inner voice, or find a way of it having less influence over your opinions of yourself.  I believe professional help will be able to provide you with the steps to make this happen.

I was looking back over some previous posts and there was a dream that seemed to relate to a positive new direction, and some related support for sadness.  This was a dream that gave such hope for the future.  I believe these dreams are related, the God speaking here is likely the older father/Godly figure.  If you can overcome and heal this negativity I believe you will see a new period of spiritual growth and healing.

My thoughts and wishes go out to you, I hope you find the way forward.

Best of luck and sweet dreams,
Rook

[marlena]

I will diligently and wholeheartedly work for it!

[eye_of_tiger]

Marlena,

I have read your messages, and I thoroughly agree with and support everything which Rook has told you.

With malice or maliciously suggests that your mother was consciously or on purpose saying these negative things with the intention to hurt you and destroy any of your remaining self confidence and self respect.

I did not think even for a moment that your mother's over negativity was consciously focused upon destroying you as her daughter.

Her unconscious mind has been programmed over the years to make her behave in that manner, and the problem now is that you have unknowingly and through no fault of your own absorbed or taken into yourself your mother's negative programming. It is now acting upon you as if it was and has always been your own program?

I will diligently and wholeheartedly work for it.

Balance or temper your diligence and wholeheartedness in reprogramming yourself with both patience and compassion for yourself.

And use your doctor, friends, family and well written books and reputable websites to their fullest potential, in helping you to do it.

You deserve only the very best in your life in overcoming this dark monster of depression, with the help of other people who are only waiting for you to ask for their type of assistance.

If doing this was easy, the need for all those doctors of the mind and self help books would significantly decrease, effectively overnight.

Since there are are still many doctors of the mind and self help books around IT IS DEFINITELY NOT EASY, ESPECIALLY IF YOU TRY TO DO IT ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF!

Love Light and Healing,

EoT  

[marlena]

It is a journey that I know will take hard work and faith. I do have people in my life who are positive,  honest and work towards being a light of genuine love in this world. Thank you as always!!!!