I dream of the 2 houses

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rashmi_rh
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I dream of the 2 houses

Post by rashmi_rh » Fri Dec 20, 2019 9:01 am

I often dream of the 2 houses i lived in during my childhood. the 1st is a small house where i lived between ages of 4 to 8. there are some good and bad memories in this house. more bad than good. I always remember being beaten up till I turned blue and gasping for breath just for a small math mistake !!! then we moved to the 2nd house which was almost never a happy home. sickness, dads job loss, insensitive, cruel behavior of mother. but when I dream of it i dream of being attached to those homes !!! after age 22 i left this house too to be on my own. never came back.
I moved on to live elsewhere but I never ever dream of those other houses i lived in during my life.. just these 2 houses. why?

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eye_of_tiger
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Re: I dream of the 2 houses

Post by eye_of_tiger » Fri Dec 20, 2019 7:32 pm

Welcome to our community.
I moved on to live elsewhere but I never ever dream of those other houses i lived in during my life.. just these 2 houses. why?
Because what happened to you in those two houses (you were a target for extreme abuse by people who should have been instead encouraging and caring for you) was most important and relevant to what type of person you now are as an adult.

As a direct result of the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual abuse you were continually subjected to in those two houses, you are quite understandably suffering from the devastating effects of what amounts to years of psychological torture at the hands of a clearly dysfunctional family, who were also your legal guardians at the time.

You were too young, too dependent and too vulnerable to be able to defend yourself from their constant attacks, and therefore the depression and almost complete lack of self confidence which you mention in one of your other postings were almost guaranteed to happen, later in your life.

I am not a qualified medical doctor, but I intuitively feel that you urgently need and deserve high quality professional medical treatment for PTSD - POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER. Basically you exhibit all the same symptoms as a shell shocked soldier recently having returned from combat or battle.

Except your battle was fought many years ago, but it is as though you are now frozen/stuck in a time warp, not of your own making (not your fault).

My advice would be to avoid having any further psychic readings done, at the very least until you are well on the way with your medical treatment.

Particularly if you are currently also experiencing suicidal thoughts, it is a matter of your own life or death that you should get the best help that you are able to afford from someone who is both professionally qualified and understanding (empathetic) of the medical condition which you (in my opinion) have.

The symbolic attachment to the two houses in which you once lived in your dream is very strong, negative and unhealthy, and it is dragging down what little of your self confidence and self love is left, after years of neglect and mistreatment.

Your unconscious sleeping mind is sending an increasingly urgent message to you (shown by the two houses appearing in one dream after another) to get some professional, medical help with this, ASAP.

The simple fact that you have been mentally strong enough to survive these attacks and get this far, and that you are still reaching out for help and advice from the people on this website, give me an increased feeling of hope and confidence that you will eventually feel much better than you do now, and that you will ultimately free yourself of the huge emotional weights which you are carrying around with you on your shoulders.

God bless you!

Brian :smt049

rashmi_rh
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2018 10:51 am

Re: I dream of the 2 houses

Post by rashmi_rh » Sat Dec 21, 2019 4:19 am

WOW.. I could have never thought of such an explanation to my dreams !!! thats so true though. now that you see my life so clearly being a complete stranger who has never met me ever and still can read it so perfectly... I was suicidal right from that age of 4 !!! The hate, the discrimination, the assaults were too much and I always questioned myself "what did I do" how did I anger my parents so much? why are they treating me like this? " As a 4 yr old i was filled with guilt that I did something to make my parents angry . I used to mix a powder called DDT in water and drink - its a poison to get rid of ants and small critters. unfortunately it didnt kill me then, only made me sick. i wish I had died --- I wouldnt have had to go thru 45 years of pain.
About getting help , I need to figure out whether its even worth it. Its very expensive to get professional help here in Mumbai. Ill keep the advise in mind though.

Thanks
Rashmi

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eye_of_tiger
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Re: I dream of the 2 houses

Post by eye_of_tiger » Sat Dec 21, 2019 10:59 pm

SPECIAL NOTE: http://www.befrienders.org/ is a very good link for those of our members who are in need of help, and who are feeling suicidal and require help now.
Indian Helplines: https://www.befrienders.org/directory?country=IN

rashmi_rh
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2018 10:51 am

Re: I dream of the 2 houses

Post by rashmi_rh » Sun Dec 22, 2019 4:14 pm

Thankyou for the link. Really appreciate that.

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eye_of_tiger
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Re: I dream of the 2 houses

Post by eye_of_tiger » Thu Jan 09, 2020 10:08 pm

Rahmi

You are very welcome, and I sincerely hope that the good people on befrienders.org will be able to offer you the help and support, which I believe that you need and deserve.

I care deeply about what happens to you.

Brian :smt049 :smt049

rashmi_rh
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2018 10:51 am

Re: I dream of the 2 houses

Post by rashmi_rh » Sun Jan 12, 2020 5:44 am

Thankyou so much Brian.. If im surviving ill keep you posted about my developments. I do want to hang on to some hope and derive strength from somewhere, be it horoscope, palmreading, psychic interpretations, numerology... im looking for hope in all this to have some reason to hang on to life.
which means im "trying". Its kind of a desperate attempt to find that one ray of light to show me the path forward. right now mind , thoughts are all numb !! its just too many things in my head and im not able to deal with them all.
Thanks again for words of encouragement.
I am praying for Australia to get heavy rains and for all the people and the wildlife to get immediate respite from the bush fires. Ive also requested my contacts from all faiths and backgrounds to pray to whichever God or Deity they believe in for Australia to get heavy rains. May God give them the strength to build back their lives again. I feel terrible for the innocent animals who have nowhere to go, no home , no food or water. I can relate to it too well. Please join us Spiritually in these prayers for Safety, Strength and Hope to Australia as in the humans, the wildlife and the overall environment.
Thanks
Rashmi

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