The sad part...

[fisk_82]

I usually feel that i don't get a long very well with kids in general. I love kids but it seems that they just hate me especially the new born baby. I have a nephew and a niece from my older sister and i really love them both but in certain degree it feels like they reject my presence.

In example : when they are just a new born, they usually crying every time i was around them... or they didn't like when i touched them. On so many other occasion, i came on contact with so many kids... daughter or son of my friends, my patients... and almost each of them showed that they threaten somehow by my presence

i always thinks that kids a pure soul and they just can tell the good and the bad in the person...  and i always think that i'm a bad person because of how they react...

anyone knows, what's wrong with me  :smt010 ?

[Rhutobello]

There might be an natural explanation to it.

Many times when we humans start to believe in something, then each time we get confirmation in our belief (cry) then our mind notice it and says...yes they do cry from me, but each time the kid laugh or are calm, the brain give no confirmation that your belief are wrong, because you don't bother to put it up against your belief.

Many years back, when I was about to buy a new car, which I found very nice, I started to notice that there was a lot of this type, even if that was not true, but it was because each time i spotted it, then my brain put it up against my belief.

A little while after I had got my car, there was suddenly not so many to see..........but that was maybe because my brain was not that occupied to spot for them  

[fisk_82]

tx rhuto, may be that's just my mind and they make a trick of me ^.^

[spiritalk]

Everything in life is about energy.  We all have an energy pattern.  When there is too much negativity, we can make a conscious choice to change that to positive.  If you truly feel there is something wrong, then check out  your own thoughts - make them positive - that will aid the energy pattern.

[fisk_82]

i'm doing cognitive behavioral therapy on my self spiritalk... sometimes it works... but sometimes it fails...
still doing some self improvement
tx for the suggestion

[happyme]

Babies are very sensitive. Perhaps they are picking up on your own insecurities and inhibitions in dealing with them and they in turn reflect it back at you. Perhaps try approaching them with more confidence. They are a joyful bundle of love of fun, when you start to visualize them that way your insecurities and apprehension will transform into something much more loving and positive, and you may be amazed at how they approach you once you have learned the handle of that. I have seen your picture fisk you have so much radiant energy bouncing around there. I know you have it within you.

[fisk_82]

yeah i admit that i'm insecure :D... tx for the suggestion happyme ^.^

[happyme]

Confidence in dealing with babies I am refering to. All the best!

[fisk_82]

a balance come before the confindence :D...

[happyme]

Of course

[Rook]

Fisk

I think it is a combo of what has been discussed.

First of all a lot of kids at a certain age develop a fear of strangers, and want to be with mummy, they will be nervous around anyone who isn't a parent or someone they have seen a lot of and are comfortable with.

Also, babies cry a lot, and as happyme said, are very sensitive to how much tension you are feeling.  If you are nervous and on edge, they will pick up on that.  If you are cool and relaxed, ehhhhh... but not every time because they might be hungry / dirty / tired / uncomfortable from being passed around previously.

I believe quite strongly in what spiritalk was talking about with how our thoughts and feeling shape the way we interact with the world and how the world reacts to us, but thinking positively won't bring out positive results every time.  We will just notice more positive stuff, negative stuff will still happen but hopefully we will be better equipped to deal with it and go back to noticing all the positives.

So basically, be calm, relaxed, and have fun with the kids and they will have fun with you.

Rock on,
Rook

[fisk_82]

@rook tx for your reply... actually what i care about is my niece and nephew response ^.^... i don't really care with other baby or kids response
i see these two kids almost everyday... the older boy just 2 years old and his sister just 1 years old...
my older sister bring the kids to my home almost every day with their baby sitters because she must work so actually i interact much with them ^.^
but recently my relation with the kids get better especially with my nephew :D... and i just feel happy

and i don't have any relation problem and get very well with older kids like kids on their school age ^.^
and also get very well with the elderly like to talk with them and like to take care them

maybe just like other suggestion that the kids just read me that i'm an insecure person :D...

sorry if my english make you confuse ^.^

[happyme]

I understand you perfectly.

[johnswifey86]

Happyme and Rook both had very good replies to your question. I am a mother and have always worked in daycares w/ young children ad have went to school for childcare. So i'm very familiar w/ their nature. I notice that when my husband and I are arguing and I get sad, my son gets sad and cranky. I also notice that when my husband yells and becomes angry my son feeds off of his energy and becomes afraid of him. Children are almost empathic, they sense alot from other people. And Happyme is right, the children you come in contact w/ are probably picking up yur not so confident energy w/ them. Some people just get nervous about being around infants and young children. My husband definately wasn't a kid person at all, and kids shunned him (and he's not a bad person). But once he became a father it was a whole different ballgame. You definately don't have to be a parent, but just try to be more confortable and don't think about how you may be a bad person to yur neice and nephew (to them i'm sure they don't feel ne thing bad coming from you). You don't even sound like a bad person or that you have a bad energy. Just think positive

[fisk_82]

I understand you perfectly.

do you have the same experience before happyme ^.^? just ask...

and tx johnswifey86 for your reply...