Empathy control!

[sparklylikeaholiday]

Hello all!  

There are many psychic gifts I wish I could develop, but don't know how.  Then there's the one I have that I can't gain control over!  That'd be empathy.

In short, my question is... How do you learn how to control it?  And my sub-question is, how is it useful?  The former question is most important to me and the latter is curiosity. I find this gift to be so frustrating that it is difficult to envision how it could be possibly be helpful.

I am overwhelmed and bombarded with the emotions of others. I have trouble deciphering what is theirs versus what is mine. I become so confused on how I feel because I can't tell if its me or not.

This has caused me to be a very anxious person. I cannot read or watch the news even. I tend to come across as antisocial. Which saddens me because I love people. But engaging with people overwhelms my emotions. Especially if there is more than one person there.

I try meditating... Hoping to find some clarity within myself, to perhaps figure out what is mine and what isn't. But my emotions are almost always heightened, that I can't relax enough.

Does anyone have any tips?  I'm exhausted!  LOL

Thanks!
Sparkly

[suzisco]

Hi there I  thought I would answer as your post resonates with me. As an empath I find my gift very useful in my work. I work in A&E and I am surrounded by people who are in pain. My gift allows me to find the most troubled and feel the disordered minds that need my help. ( I work as psychiatric liaison or acute psychiatry). To protect myself I have the ability to compartmentalise external forces and put to the side all the trauma people feel and focus on what I am looking for. I use crystals to help protect me and to soak up all the negative emotions I am surrounded with every day.

My gift is useful for working out if someone is feigning mental disorder or in diagnosing what kind of disorder they have.
It allows me to soothe the most traumatised mentally so they can tell me their story. It helps me calm the disorganised racing thoughts person or mentally hug the distressed or suicidal person and make them feel worthwhile. I call it reiki for the mind.

I could go on and on.  

The downside is when I am unwell I sometimes get lost in what's going on my head that I find it hard to separate myself. I am suspicious of people who I can't feel emotions from and I know when my daughter is lying to me and that makes me feel sad. The other downside is I always know what I am getting for my Christmas lol.

Hope this gives some kind of positive slant on empathic abilities.

I hope some others can contribute to this thread.

Suzi

[sparklylikeaholiday]

Thank you Suzi for such a great response!  

Everything you said that was good about your gift is absolutely true.  And perhaps that's why I was so good at my former career (surgical tech) - I was able to truly empathize with my patients.  It's not needed nearly as much in my current job...  

And I think the fact that my empathy feels so out of control might be why I cannot see the good it can do.  

I think my next meditation, I will reflect on the positives you have mentioned and consider how I can apply this to my life.  Perhaps looking at it from a different angle might help me feel a little less frustrated with it.  

I've used crystals before, but not for a long time... are there certain ones you recommend?  I have a quartz, amethyst and a burnt amethyst (better known as FAKE CITRINE - I don't think it's of any use to me, but I kept it anyway because it's very beautiful).  

I had read somewhere in the past that saging might help as well - I've never done it, but would like to give it a try.  

Thank you again for your thoughtful response, I found it very helpful for me to put things into perspective a little.  :-)

Sparkly

[jamers]

Hi sparklylikeaholiday (love the name! lol )
I can completely relate to your issue with empathy!!! With me the only good thing that I can come up with for me is that it helps me connect with the animals I work with at the zoo.  Animals really try hard to mask their pain (emotional or physical) and I can connect with them and figure things out so I can try to help them.  
I'm like you, I like to hang out with friends BUT also hate it too because I pick up on all of their emotions and by the time I get home i'm so drained I just want to sleep and be to myself for days.  I also work in a pharmacy as a tech and by the time I get home from being around all those people I get extremely drained as well.  I like helping people as well as animals but sometimes (or most of the time lol) I want to lock myself in my freaking room and never go out lol.  I also have a hard time figuring out what are my emotions from what is someone elses.

[suzisco]

Hi there, I have 2 bags of gems, one for healing which is under my pillow and one in my work bag for protection.

I use sodalite, jasper, lace agate, amythst, snowflake obsidian, rose quartz and hematite.
My advice to you is if you have a friend gifted in gems ask them to make you up a bag. If not go to the gem shop and stand in front if the tumbled gems. Shut your eyes and slowly pass your hands over the gems. Pick up the gems you feel a positive reaction from usually about 5 take them home and make up a rock salt solution and put your new stones in this and leave on your windowsill over night. Put your new stones either in your pocket or a wee pouch depending on what your stones like and carry them about with you.

Hope this helps.  I might also suggest you talk to spirittalk or eye of the tiger who can teach you about protecting yourself, they are both very gifted people who do not mind sharing with you and helping you. Tell them I sent you.

Suzi xxx

[jamers]

hhmmm I will have to try to find a gem stone store around here.  Thanks!

[sparklylikeaholiday]

Jamers, you sound a lot like me!!  Connecting with the animals is AWESOME!!  I don't think I pick up much from animals.  Maybe that's just because my cat is always in a state of annoyed and it never changes.  LOL  

Suzi, I really like the idea of picking up positive reactions from the stones and carrying them in a pouch.  I am going to do that, we have a store not too far from me.  Do certain stones counteract others, or does it matter if they are all mixed together in a pouch?  

Thank you guys for your very kind and in depth replies... they helped me greatly!!!!  xoxo

[suzisco]

Most stones work together, heamatite acts a booster for all the other stones and gives balance. What you can do is leave the stones out in a flat plate and if none of them move away then they are happy together. If you find one apart or on the floor it wants to be on its own.

Xxx

[sparklylikeaholiday]

Ohhhh. Wow. Gonna try that!  I'm going to go to the store this weekend. I'm excited. thanks!

[Sweet Psychic]

Hi there Sparkly!
I hope you don't mind me chiming in here. I am an empath (among other gifts). You ask what is it good for. Well, indulge me for a moment, please.

All of us have a degree of empathy. In some it manifests and makes itself more known. Empathy, in your everyday world, is very useful in gauging someone's true intent. Lying, hiding true feelings-you can usually tell right away when the BS is getting too high.

Empathic abilities are also useful if you are caregiver roles in your professional life. Very necessary.

Now how do you control it? That's a good question! I get really weirded out when I go into crowds. So much coming at me at one time. So, I've developed a technique that I call "zipping up". Basically I "zip" my chakras, starting at the root chakra and going clear up to the crown. Literally, like zipping a jacket. Easy peasy!

Another very simple way is to imagine yourself in a bubble, I prefer a green on, and that the emotions and other stuff from people around you cannot permeate that bubble. This takes a little practice, but I'm sure you will get the hang of it!

[oracleavenue]

I've developed a social anxiety because of my empathic abilities, and I can seem awkward during conversations where emotions hit me mid-sentence. One thing that has helped me (once I realized I was empathic and not just moody!) is to put an invisible sheild around myself each day. I also have a special place in my mind that I can go to for a quick meditation when emotions get to be too much. I sit down for a bit and imagine this small room in my mind that has my favorite things in it. I visit that room for a minute or too to relax and get centered. Hopefull this is something that can work for you too!