I think I'm having an awakening but i'm not sure if I'm ready for it!

[matt22113]

Hi I have a number of questions I’d like to have answered.

Firstly I posted a question on here last year about if its ok to develop psychic abilities if I have a chemical imbalance and the answers I got were to heal first.

So I have been trying my hardest to heal my imbalance which my doctor feels is from me not digesting foods right, and so I feel I can heal this since it’s a physical thing, and I know that it is from some damage that happened to my body as a child.

So through reiki I have begun healing myself and in September of 2009 I had a very strange experience while giving myself rieki by myself in a low-lit room. I started to see inside the room with my eyes closed. After this happened I went into my brother’s room and told him what happened I started guessing cards with my eyes closed, it was like I had no eyelids.

I started to feel really happy about this at first, but then I started to get really scared and paranoid because my imbalance kicked in. the night that this all happened I had a hard time falling asleep because it felt as if my eyes weren’t closed when they really were.

For about five days after that I felt a warm sensation in my forehead, and this warm feeling going up and down my throat and into my stomach.  I felt very peaceful. But I also felt so paranoid that I would see spirits as I have a fear of that. I started to get so scared that I would get psychic that I stopped giving myself reiki for about a month and the feeling went away.

I really just want to heal my body at this point in my life, I keep on feeling like the urge to be extremely peaceful and spiritual.

I have a drawing ability that I have developed over time; It’s a dark scary cartoon type style, scary clowns and monsters. I really like this style as it inspires me and I feel that in a way it represents my anxiety on paper and sort of like misunderstood creatures much like the feeling I get from my anxiety. But lately I feel like I should stop drawing this style and draw from nature which I’m not very good at so I guess the fear is leaving behind my old style and developing a new style. I know that what you put out is what you get back based on the law of attraction, but nothing really inspires other than drawing creepy pictures. My social worker who follows the universal laws, tells me its better to get it out than to keep it in and drawing is healthy feeling for that. (she feels I should continue drawing the scary stuff)

The major reason I bring up my art life is because after reading up that many psychics feel that in 2012 there is going to be a major awakening on this planet. And I feel that the art world such as dark comic books and all types of horror movies are going to be viewed as obsolete. Is this true? Any opinions on that one?

Also what will happen to all the people who have chemical imbalances in 2012 will they all be sent psych wards and massive pandemonium as people who are not ready to be psychic will become psychic?

I know for sure in my current state I can’t become psychic after my experience, but I’m longing for that spiritual side of myself to open up. Though it seems as if I feel very confused about what will happen and who I will be If I’m able to heal myself and become psychic. I also feel confused very confused as to what my art passions will be if this happens if I was just wasting my time these past few years developing a style of art that will not fit me or the world in the near future. I want to be an artist for my career as well, which is why I take this so seriously.

So will the art world and mental health world change in 2012 if there is an awakening?

I’m posting this in the advice section because I feel my questions fit this section the best.

Thanks to all that help!

[PetraVanilla]

Have you ever thought about the possibility that you are drawing more than just cartoons? Spirits and demons come in the most interesting forms to say the least! how do you think the first person thought of drawing the first creepy thing? Out of fear? But how did they know how to put it on paper? Fact is you have to give your fears a name in order to overcome them. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear, it is walking through the scary situation despite the fear, keeping the successful completion of your challenge in mind. I posted this on the subject of overcoming fear: http://mysticboard.org/vi ... highlight= , maybe it'll help.

Psychic awakenings usually come at a time when there is extra-sensory stress of some sort, like you open up more, and often the body synchronizes with emotions. So I am thinking that what your body is doing may be more of a symptom or result of your psychic awakening. With Reiki, you need to be aware that it can cause both emotional releases as well as body detoxification, which can come with stomach upsets, diarrhea, lightheadedness and the like.

On further thought, looking at your age I am wondering if you are yet another indigo child/adult I am meeting. You should google it!  I will send you a pm link as well.

Love, light and blessings!

[spiritalk]

I wonder if we are ever ready for the major changes in life!  And the ones that seem to be predicted for 2012 are certainly a more cosmic change for all than most changes.  

I don't think anyone knows what is going to happen but it is certainly connected with spiritual awareness rising and our consciousness of more in the universe being acknowledged.  That is the psychic connection.  But it is all precipitated by the spiritual.  Seeking your spirituality is the step for balance that you need at present.  The psychic can follow.

If we have the talent for broad strokes in art, why would it be limited?  I think your fears of the unknown are limiting so much in your life.  Relax and let life unfold a bit!  Every move you make, every thought you think can and often does define us in some way - but how urgently is up to our fears.  Relax!  Allow your life to be all it can be in whatever direction you are seeking validation.

[joshjive]

one day i was walking up to the local grocery store when i heard a loud bang! and everything around me shook. then it happened again! and a third time! i continued walking slightly freaked out by now whehn a pillar with a sign on it expends to the size of my vision then goes back to normal. i was with three friends i was intredly freaked out by then i was like guys did you hear thoese loud bangs they said what?? i was nearly trembling it was really weird ive never felt anything like that before... after.. thats a whole different story.

[matt22113]

not to ignore the above posters story about the loud bang (maybe someone else who is more qualified can help), but back to what I was talking about a few months ago.

I have continued to draw the dark scary pictures, the more I practice the scarier they get. I'm beginning to stop seeing the beauty in pretty things and I like pictures of grim reapers, tattoo type art and all types of underground stuff.

One question though, if and when I'm ready to become psychic how will I handle all these dark energy's that seem to be in my life due to these dark pictures I keep drawing which are connected to my subconscious?

What happens when some one who is fully psychic draws a picture of skull a demon or something demonic, wouldn't that attract that energy to them?

Also I've heard many talented famous artists were mediums or psychics does being psychic some how enhance creativity?

When I become psychic is likely that I will stop drawing these types of pictures because my fear will be lost? But then what do I do for a career then? I'm beginning to think that I think to much.

OK I'll keep all updated on this as I move along on my journey any help would be appreciated

[spiritalk]

There is a dark and fearful energy around the drawings.  The more you continue with the art work the more you maintain and feed this dark and fearful energy.  

You may have to choose between this art work and being balanced in body, mind, spirit.  The spirit is light and can overcome the dark, but you need to work at that and give it a chance to manifest.

Creativity of the mind comes from a sensitivity very much like the psychic.  There is a co-relation and your drawings are already drawing the darkness around, so the light is diminished.