Thanks for putting all that together for me, it's really nice of you and I appreciate it, I need all the help I can get with this one so thanks =)
But this leads me to another discussion point... earlier I was talking about energy exchange and emotional vampirism without using the v-word, that is true... and yes, I agree that that aspect of life, the over-drainage, does apply to everyone... it's natural... but I also think it's where an empath has huge weak spots, and that's where a lot of my questions/concerns stem from.
I know they are two different things - being empath and having to deal with emotional overdraining - I know these two elements are not one and the same, and I didn't mean to come off to say that they are - at least, I didn't mean to say that for anyone besides myself.
For me personally, I can't exactly say they're the same thing - not exactly - but I do believe the two go hand in hand, and one exacerbates the other, and vice versa. Do you know what I mean?
The truth is I have no way of knowing for sure that I am empath. I've never been declared such by anyone else - I've simply identified myself with the term because my functioning mirrors it. I am unsure writing this reply because it has me questioning whether or not I am empath - maybe since I talked about a tapering subject more than the subject itself, I lacked a bit of conviction on the topic of being empath - but deep down I feel like it's a good thing to question otherwise, even against my gut instincts. Question everything, right? =)
It's quite difficult to put into words... especially because it's not something I see the need to prove or defend. You can't go around shouting I AM EMPATH because you sure as hell aren't feeling anybody else when you're doing that, right?
What's that old Eastern saying? "Those who don't know, speak. Those who know, don't say." ? That's probably the best way I can talk about being empath at the moment.
Anyways, you brought up a very interesting paradigm for me here and I'm glad you got me to make a distinction between being empath and dealing with emotional draining. It's important to have clear language on both topics.
But I still say they overlap =) Love to hear more from you guys on either topic, thanks again
An Empath, what shoud i do?
Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123
The overlap stems from the psychic sensitivities. Being an empath is a part of those sensitivities.
Psychic abilities are about the 5 senses (seeing, hearing, smell, taste, touch - tactile and emotional) that you use in your material life and adding 2 more: Intuition from the gut and I know from the heart - it neither sees nor hears, it just knows. So while you are learning more about yourself and your abilities it is also psychic development that is taking place on your own sensitivities.
Does that help to see it?
Psychic abilities are about the 5 senses (seeing, hearing, smell, taste, touch - tactile and emotional) that you use in your material life and adding 2 more: Intuition from the gut and I know from the heart - it neither sees nor hears, it just knows. So while you are learning more about yourself and your abilities it is also psychic development that is taking place on your own sensitivities.
Does that help to see it?
God bless, J
@otato tx for your suggestion... i think i will try that on other meditation session 
Anyway i want to ask this part that you write before "But what about making other people understand how heavy their emotions are? They will never know unless you express it."
Oh well, the problem .. as an empath, it easily for us to feel sorry for all other person that we know in a bad situation. And many empaths have tendency to become a rescuer. Sometimes we don't even think whether that person will suck all the energy we have or not (in spiritalk article, that is the vampire). After that, so many of us never think and never want to tell something that we know exactly will hurt others, even for all the vampires out there. Really, it's not very easy to see someone hurt because of what we say or what we do.
BTW, i'm like you. I can't tell exactly whether i'm a real empath or not. I just know the term of empath last week. It describe exactly what i feel and what i experience. From the whole years, i can tell that being an empath is not something cool... it's a burden. You can't openly discuss what you feel to others because sometimes they will think that you are silly, exaggerated the real condition. What i know... we don't know something by hear or sees or use any other senses. We just know because we sense it by i don't know... may be the intuition. We just know without need to think, analize, and so on.
@spiritalk... tx for all the answer, it helps a lot.
Anyway i want to ask this part that you write before "But what about making other people understand how heavy their emotions are? They will never know unless you express it."
Oh well, the problem .. as an empath, it easily for us to feel sorry for all other person that we know in a bad situation. And many empaths have tendency to become a rescuer. Sometimes we don't even think whether that person will suck all the energy we have or not (in spiritalk article, that is the vampire). After that, so many of us never think and never want to tell something that we know exactly will hurt others, even for all the vampires out there. Really, it's not very easy to see someone hurt because of what we say or what we do.
BTW, i'm like you. I can't tell exactly whether i'm a real empath or not. I just know the term of empath last week. It describe exactly what i feel and what i experience. From the whole years, i can tell that being an empath is not something cool... it's a burden. You can't openly discuss what you feel to others because sometimes they will think that you are silly, exaggerated the real condition. What i know... we don't know something by hear or sees or use any other senses. We just know because we sense it by i don't know... may be the intuition. We just know without need to think, analize, and so on.
@spiritalk... tx for all the answer, it helps a lot.
Fisk - I know exactly what you mean and it's the irony of it.
I do empathize on the whole - and it's in my nature to be of service to the world on my terms - it's normal for me to reach out my hand when someone's struggling - it's easy to make sense of what others go through - and ultimately I want to help.
I just get sick when people constantly search for reasons to be miserable.
The clincher for me, also, is that I have an ambitious soul. I don't mean materialistically, but spiritually -- reaching a higher spiritual plane. I want to reach a higher point. And as I become more aware of my abilities, I become less tolerant of empty noise and hot air - whether it be from someone else, or whether I realize I've just done that after the fact. It's distracting. It's not necessarily evil or anything like that, it's just poisonous and it spills, it makes a mess, and it tarnishes things.
I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm talking about "positive thinking" or "negative thinking" here. I have beef with the concept of "positive thinking" because it can be unrealistic - same with "negative thinking." By using one type of thinking, we're not realizing our full potential. That's a fact. So why not just be realistic? It allows for a range between extremes.
Anyways, as far as dealing with people as an empath, I've started looking at it like when you've got something in your teeth, and nobody tells you. You are out and about - around people you trust - and yet no one has the guts to tell you there's a smidge of something in your teeth. Or your fly is undone. What have you. And you get home and look at yourself in the mirror and you realize you're a fool, and no one told you. No one had the gourd to say it -- for whatever reasons, they didn't want to hurt your feelings, they didn't know how to tell you, so on and so forth.
Now, there's two sides to this. You can easily go around telling everyone what you really think, but it has consequences just like anything else. I am not saying to do that - nor am I saying that I do that. That's totally rude - and it goes against being empathic.
Being careful with our words is very very important, especially when we're picking a bone with someone we share feelings with.
What I'm saying is - if you care for someone, and they're making a fool of themselves (or worse, making fools of others) - then keep it real and say your piece and say it like you mean it.
Or to put it another way... when the emotions of others are weighing on you unnecessarily... sometimes it actually takes dealing with that person openly, honestly, and directly.
I don't want to downplay the importance of protecting oneself through visualizations - but I do think sometimes the direct approach is a lot more effective. Communication is key.
I don't mean lecture them - and I don't mean nag at them. I mean wait for the perfect opportunity to speak your piece - use the correct words (be sinless, seek to understand before you seek to be understood) - and leave it on a good note.
It doesn't always work - sometimes I say the wrong thing and that mucks it up. Sometimes people just take things personally when they know you've revealed something truthful about them that they're not ready to deal with. Sometimes it's just not the right approach for the situation -- it's trial and error.
But for me, it's worth the risk in the long run. I care about people and I don't want to see them acting the fool. Nor would I want others to allow me to carry on willy-nilly, without bringing my attention to the issue. If I have something to say on the matter that's worth saying, I'll say it discreetly and in private.
So yeah, long story short, that's what I meant about expressing to people how their emotions weigh. I think it's important. From my point of view, empathy isn't this thing that's just exclusive to certain people - nor is being empathic. I think this is a developed skill, just like any other talent. How it's developed is through love, by paying it forward, forever and always.
I don't recommend my approach to everyone, it really takes a strong will to find the right words & ways to let someone know they're messing up. Again, it has consequences, just like anything else. But it's worked for me, and I try to wield my gifts with love and courage. It's trial and error, though.
Hope all this makes sense, best of luck
I do empathize on the whole - and it's in my nature to be of service to the world on my terms - it's normal for me to reach out my hand when someone's struggling - it's easy to make sense of what others go through - and ultimately I want to help.
I just get sick when people constantly search for reasons to be miserable.
The clincher for me, also, is that I have an ambitious soul. I don't mean materialistically, but spiritually -- reaching a higher spiritual plane. I want to reach a higher point. And as I become more aware of my abilities, I become less tolerant of empty noise and hot air - whether it be from someone else, or whether I realize I've just done that after the fact. It's distracting. It's not necessarily evil or anything like that, it's just poisonous and it spills, it makes a mess, and it tarnishes things.
I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm talking about "positive thinking" or "negative thinking" here. I have beef with the concept of "positive thinking" because it can be unrealistic - same with "negative thinking." By using one type of thinking, we're not realizing our full potential. That's a fact. So why not just be realistic? It allows for a range between extremes.
Anyways, as far as dealing with people as an empath, I've started looking at it like when you've got something in your teeth, and nobody tells you. You are out and about - around people you trust - and yet no one has the guts to tell you there's a smidge of something in your teeth. Or your fly is undone. What have you. And you get home and look at yourself in the mirror and you realize you're a fool, and no one told you. No one had the gourd to say it -- for whatever reasons, they didn't want to hurt your feelings, they didn't know how to tell you, so on and so forth.
Now, there's two sides to this. You can easily go around telling everyone what you really think, but it has consequences just like anything else. I am not saying to do that - nor am I saying that I do that. That's totally rude - and it goes against being empathic.
Being careful with our words is very very important, especially when we're picking a bone with someone we share feelings with.
What I'm saying is - if you care for someone, and they're making a fool of themselves (or worse, making fools of others) - then keep it real and say your piece and say it like you mean it.
Or to put it another way... when the emotions of others are weighing on you unnecessarily... sometimes it actually takes dealing with that person openly, honestly, and directly.
I don't want to downplay the importance of protecting oneself through visualizations - but I do think sometimes the direct approach is a lot more effective. Communication is key.
I don't mean lecture them - and I don't mean nag at them. I mean wait for the perfect opportunity to speak your piece - use the correct words (be sinless, seek to understand before you seek to be understood) - and leave it on a good note.
It doesn't always work - sometimes I say the wrong thing and that mucks it up. Sometimes people just take things personally when they know you've revealed something truthful about them that they're not ready to deal with. Sometimes it's just not the right approach for the situation -- it's trial and error.
But for me, it's worth the risk in the long run. I care about people and I don't want to see them acting the fool. Nor would I want others to allow me to carry on willy-nilly, without bringing my attention to the issue. If I have something to say on the matter that's worth saying, I'll say it discreetly and in private.
So yeah, long story short, that's what I meant about expressing to people how their emotions weigh. I think it's important. From my point of view, empathy isn't this thing that's just exclusive to certain people - nor is being empathic. I think this is a developed skill, just like any other talent. How it's developed is through love, by paying it forward, forever and always.
I don't recommend my approach to everyone, it really takes a strong will to find the right words & ways to let someone know they're messing up. Again, it has consequences, just like anything else. But it's worked for me, and I try to wield my gifts with love and courage. It's trial and error, though.
Hope all this makes sense, best of luck
@otato yes... i completely agree with you :D... and i take times to think and make some contemplation... i think the best way is just accept it... don't think it as a burden... when u started to feel and think it as burden... then it will become worse day by day... and u loose that sunny side... a happy feeling to help others ;D. And i agree too that some people not really worth to be help. This is my bad that i can't help my self to run to someone that crying for help... but i learn from what u said... it's better to do some filtering before decide whether they worth to help or not. Being an empath is a gift but actually most of people have this kind of ability in their soul but a little that still have and develop this skill when they are grow up.
And i like what u write down before...
"Anyways, as far as dealing with people as an empath, I've started looking at it like when you've got something in your teeth, and nobody tells you. You are out and about - around people you trust - and yet no one has the guts to tell you there's a smidge of something in your teeth. Or your fly is undone. What have you. And you get home and look at yourself in the mirror and you realize you're a fool, and no one told you. No one had the gourd to say it -- for whatever reasons, they didn't want to hurt your feelings, they didn't know how to tell you, so on and so forth."
GBU ^.^
And i like what u write down before...
"Anyways, as far as dealing with people as an empath, I've started looking at it like when you've got something in your teeth, and nobody tells you. You are out and about - around people you trust - and yet no one has the guts to tell you there's a smidge of something in your teeth. Or your fly is undone. What have you. And you get home and look at yourself in the mirror and you realize you're a fool, and no one told you. No one had the gourd to say it -- for whatever reasons, they didn't want to hurt your feelings, they didn't know how to tell you, so on and so forth."
GBU ^.^
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