Some History About Me that I sent Pravin that I was told to post here

[Catwoman148]

Dear Pravin,

Thank you for everything. I must tell you about what happened when I was twenty-five because others do not understand, and you would understand that what I talk about is not ficticious, and a blessing. Not crazy. I found a guru quite by accident. His name was Swami Muktananda. I had a kundalini awakening that took me by surprise. I would have kriya's and mudras and yoga postures happen all by itself almost. I was so high from the love of God that I quit drinking and drugs all my itself. Those things just fell away. I used to chant constantly, and couldn't get enough of it. It was like nectar. I never met Muktananda in person, but I didn't have to. I did talk with him on the phone one time when Kaveri called him, so I could get my name from him. It was Yogada with a - over the last a. He told me that it meant bestower of yogas. I became celibate only because it came naturally, and I didn't need anything any more. I was in a near constant state of bliss. I quit drugs, alcohol, and everything because it fell away. Everything did the dance of God. Everything and everyone was a goddess or God. The trees were happy, the flowers were happy, and even the grass worshipped God. I used to chant constantly. That was my nectar. If I could chant for twelve hours straight, I would. I became a renunciate, and I wanted to become a swami, but I was a female. Muktananda made female swami's here in America, but I never became one. I used to chant in different languages. One time I was chanting in Tibetian, and a swami told me that it was Tibetian. I recorded it, and got a book from the library, and translated part of it, and it was prayers about what was going on in my life. One time when I was still married to my first husband, my head lifted up off of the pillow, and a sanskrit voice came out of my throat chakra, and spoke into my husbands ear. He thought I was possessed, and he made me make a choice between him or God. I chose God. This
was very painful. I fell in love with God so much that sometimes my breath was almost taken away thinking of Him. I studied all the deep things of Yoga for about three years when I read many books in Muktananda's Library. I took lessons in Sanskrit at the Ashram. Something terrible happened which I will write in another post. I found God forever. I do not see life as other people do, and I never will again. My guru is
Jesus now, but my heart will always love Muktananda even though he was supposed to have done terrible things, and I felt betrayed by my own Guru. I went into the dark confusion of the world after my abduction by Erik Johonson. I was so confused and broken that I thought I was dead for three years. I was physically ill, and confused. It is easy to talk with you, and I know that you are an enlightened soul, and you bring back to me what I lost after the abduction. I want to see the trees worship God again. I want to see people like I did back then. But, emotional states come and go, and I accept where I am. The only thing that matters is to fufill my goal, and my promise to God. I had a near death experience when I
was twenty-two, and I chose to be here. I chose. I had to write about this, so you knew a little bit about where I have been in life. My husband Wes was also enlightened, and had a kundalini awakening in the same yoga group, but we didn't know each other back then. He followed Muktananda's guru, Nityananda. He understands everything I have ever experienced
in life like this, and doesn't think anything bad about me. He is not confused like I am. I have to write about other things now. Thank you Pravin for being there for me, and the others.
Sad Guru Nath Mararaj Ki Jay!
Love, Pamela

[Pravin Kumar]

Dear Pamela,

Your writings appeal so many and it is good you have mentioned in the forum about all this. After your work is complete you should again try for this Kundalini awakening and feel the Bliss ful State where you feel in Heaven living here. This state as you know is something which will detach you from this world and you live in a world of your own totally dedicating your life to HIM.

God Bless you all for what you are doing.

Pravin Kumar.