Is it a coincidence?

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Ashley868
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Joined: Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:34 am

Is it a coincidence?

Post by Ashley868 » Sun Nov 02, 2014 7:31 pm

About a year ago I wrote a letter to my father and burnt it. He died when I was a little girl. He killed himself. He was never happy with us, and according to my mom he haunted her for a bit. I felt the need to write him though. Ever since though bad things have happened to me. If I talk to someone about how angry I feel about his suicide or something I get hurt. I was in a car accident recently. The day before that I'd been talking to someone about how bitter I felt about his death. I know it sounds messed up to think a ghost could be responsible for these things, but it has been happening ever since I wrote that letter. The accidents seem to be getting worse each time. This one could have killed me, but for some I managed to get out of it fine. I didn't think much about it, but someone I know I've been talking to this about told me she doesn't think it's a coincidence and that me writing to him was the worst thing I could have done. The only reason I wrote and burnt a letter was to let out all my vent up feelings. She said he's a bitter spirit.

If for some crazy reasons these events are connected is there a way for it to stop. Obviously if somehow it's because I talk about the suicide I should stop talking about it, but I mean would another letter work? She didn't have any answers for me other then to tell me to stop bad mouthing him. How could a ghost even know I said any of this stuff. It's not like he follows me, and how could he cause a car accident. She said she thinks it's a warning to stop.

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eye_of_tiger
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It is neither a coincidence; nor likely to be paranormal

Post by eye_of_tiger » Sun Nov 02, 2014 11:41 pm

Ashley868 wrote:About a year ago I wrote a letter to my father and burnt it. He died when I was a little girl. He killed himself. He was never happy with us, and according to my mom he haunted her for a bit. I felt the need to write him though. Ever since though bad things have happened to me. If I talk to someone about how angry I feel about his suicide or something I get hurt. I was in a car accident recently. The day before that I'd been talking to someone about how bitter I felt about his death. I know it sounds messed up to think a ghost could be responsible for these things, but it has been happening ever since I wrote that letter. The accidents seem to be getting worse each time. This one could have killed me, but for some I managed to get out of it fine. I didn't think much about it, but someone I know I've been talking to this about told me she doesn't think it's a coincidence and that me writing to him was the worst thing I could have done. The only reason I wrote and burnt a letter was to let out all my vent up feelings. She said he's a bitter spirit.

If for some crazy reasons these events are connected is there a way for it to stop. Obviously if somehow it's because I talk about the suicide I should stop talking about it, but I mean would another letter work? She didn't have any answers for me other then to tell me to stop bad mouthing him. How could a ghost even know I said any of this stuff. It's not like he follows me, and how could he cause a car accident. She said she thinks it's a warning to stop.
Hi Ashley,

Writing a letter to someone who has died can potentially be an excellent form of self therapy to begin the healing process, but its effectiveness in doing this depends a lot upon exactly what you wrote to your father in that letter that will never be delivered. Burning the letter is supposed to instruct your mind to let these feelings be released or let go to where they cannot any longer hurt you, but clearly in your case this has not worked.

The letter writing has only made your understandable response to your negative feelings of not being good enough to earn your father's love much stronger than they already were. But as with your father's suicide this is not your fault. I have often advised people who are grieving and have unresolved issues with the deceased person to do exactly what you did, so you have no reason to feel that you did anything wrong.

So in a way unless there is solid evidence that your father's spirit or the residual psychic energy left by his selfish act is responsible for your car accident(which I feel is highly unlikely), I believe that this "haunting" is more psychological than paranormal. Although the damaging effects to your mental and emotional health could be exactly the same.

Talking about it to somebody other than a professional trained doctor or counselor  is almost guaranteed to bring your raw feelings once more closer to the surface, which in turn could make you lose your concentration on your driving long enough to cause the accident. A similar thing can happen when any driver sees a police vehicle in their vicinity. They get nervous that they are going to do something wrong and get in trouble with the law for doing it. Then they make more mistakes because they are extra nervous or anxious, which can sometimes lead to them having or causing an accident.

"Never happy with us" translates to your father thinking that you and your mother were not good enough for him, and could do nothing right. You have every right to feel bitter, as this is the most extreme form of abuse. He was suggesting that you were responsible for him taking his own life, when you were only a little girl who depended entirely on feelings of him accepting and loving you, mistakes and all. Adults are meant to be responsible for what they do or do not do: NOT their children.

My advice would be for both you and your mother to if possible go together to see a qualified doctor, and not a medium or psychic. You need each other's moral support in working through your bitterness and feelings of desertion with a therapist or grief counselor.

Grief after a suicide is often much deeper, complex and longer lasting than after a normal death. Most places have victims of suicide support groups for precisely that reason. They keep lists of doctors and counselors in your local area, who have the empathy and training for helping people like you. Including if they are affordable.

I agree with the woman who told you that she thinks that your accidents which seem to be getting worse each time are unlikely to be a coincidence, but with the best of intentions she has wrongly told you that writing the letter was the worst thing you could have done, adding more unnecessary feelings of guilt about writing it to your existing emotional load which was courtesy of your father's act.

I totally disagree with her claim that this was the worst thing you could have done, as well as questioning her right to judge and treat you so unfairly. As she is not you, she has no idea hat this must feel like to you. Please do not tell me that you paid good money to be further abused by her. Please do not tell me that she claims to be psychic. Unless one or both of these conditions is true.

Your father's spirit might be bitter, but it is your own perfectly normal and understandable bitterness as a result of your father's selfish but out of his normal mind suicide, intensified by the letter writing and burning not working as well as it should have (which you could not have predicted would happen), that is causing you to be increasingly accident prone.

Being accident prone can sometimes be a direct symptom of low self confidence. Basically you do not feel that you deserve to have a life which is relatively free of accidents. This does not sound logical. Accidents happen to everyone sometimes. But when your emotions and feelings come closer to the surface and grow in intensity, they can easily overpower your reasoning, logical mind.

Your subconscious mind is then instructed to carry out this almost hypnotic suggestion that you do not deserve any better by giving you poor eye and muscle coordination, with good eye and muscle coordination being particularly important when you are driving around a metric tonne or more of metal, glass and plastic at  speeds higher than a walking pace.

You and your mother have my empathy and full support in you both getting the professional help that you deserve in slowly but surely and safely working through these long standing emotional issues.  I have every confidence that if you get this professional help together, then it will strengthen your mother daughter relationship and finally put the memory of what your father has done to you to rest.

In an unexpected round about way writing that letter could turn out with hindsight to be the best possible thing you could ever have done, as it brought you here to speak to me, and I have advised you to get the proper help from a professional.

If you had not written it none of these potentially good things might have happened (or they might have happened too late to do any good), but the issues would still be building up to an explosion which could have made you terribly sick, or have eventually killed you.

Writing that letter could just turn out to have saved your life.

Well done!


Loving regards,

EoT  :smt038

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