Dealing with Anger...

[middionne]

At some point int time in our lives we all have to deal with Anger.  Everyone deals with it in different ways, but letting Anger get toe the point of Rage is not only un-healthy, but it's dangerous.  Lives are lost due to pent up anger and furestation.

I'm sharing this with you because I've seen 1st hand what anger can do.  I've found ways of coping  that I would like to share.  I know what it's like to be so angry and hurt at the unfairness of like, that you want to lash out.  I used to hold it in, but that only made me physchially sick.  For some, they inflick their emotional pain on others verbal or physcally abusing, or even killing other.  Lets share our pain, not take it out on others.  

Here are some tips:

Three Important Ways to deal with Anger:
Feelings are much like waves. We can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which one to surf." -Jonatan Mårtensson
In the Western world, we think of strength as big muscles, heavy weights, physical power. But in the ancient Eastern cultures, strength means something entirely different. The yogis think of strength more as an ability to overcome powerful emotions such as anger and jealousy.
In the heat of the moment, a normal person (myself included) will want to lash out. In her song "country singer Cynthia Ford catches her husband cheating and responds with anger and jealousy by maxing out his credit cards to misdecorate his house. The words go like this:

So don't write any checks cuz they'll just bounce back
Don't use the credit cards cuz they're all at the max
But don't worry, babe, I spent it all on you
To go along with all the cute little things you do
Oh, I've wanted so long just to wring your neck, oh
Instead I redid your house in White Trash Deco
Is this the best way to respond to anger? Probably not. Can most of us relate to it? Hell, yeah! But if we cultivate the rare ability to overcome powerful emotions, we make better decisions. So much of life comes down to the decisions we make in intense, pivotal moments.
Here are some tips on dealing with anger so you can walk proud on your finest path through life:

1. Remember that anger and love are two sides of the same coin
If you really want love in your life, you must be willing to spend a little time with love's less comfortable relatives, anger and pain. It's common to think that with anger and pain come breakup and divorce. But the bottom line is the more you love someone, the more able they are to piss you off. So be aware: Anger and intense emotion are normal when you truly love and care. Mel McDaniel sings about this two-sided coin i

2. Before you lash out, look within
When you're struggling with anger, it's common to blame others for every little thing. A true sign of strength is taking responsibility for yourself. In Jake Owen comes to a very yogic resolution to dealing with anger:
If I had a dime for half the things I did that didn't make no sense at all
I'd be living a little higher on the hog
If only I'd have known
That later on down the road
I'd look back and not like what I see
I'd have changed a lot of things
Startin' with me

3. Practice feeling without reacting
The 6,000-year old practice of yoga teaches that when you are in challenging situations, you make the best decisions in even the worst of situations if you just breathe and relax. Try it: Lift your arms to the sides of your body and hold them so you form a letter "T." Allow your arms to stay parallel to the ground for 2, 3, even 4 minutes. When your shoulders start to burn, notice that by breathing and relaxing, you gain more endurance. There's very little that physical strength, hustle, and effort can do you for you in this situation. As a famous Zen proverb reads: "Nothing on earth can overcome an absolutely nonresistant person."

[Nicole]

Great pointer, middionne.  :smt023
I'll bring this to the top so someone else can read this also...


Have a great day, and Oh~!!

don't forget to *Smile*...  

[lily-anne]

i just wanted to say thanks for this post. I know this probably seems trivial but i have been angry at someone for the hurt they caused and angry at myself trying to find what i did wrong. Your post made me realise i was only angry at this person because i loved them and that if i remember that first when ever i get cross i won't react in the same way. It also made me realise that this person is cross with me because they are angry at something else and need a place to direct that anger safely, so now i can continue to love them and let them be angry. Thank you.

[soul_flower]

Thanks for that.....I shall keep that in mind,i have been going through to many emotions in the past week.....Including alot of anger....Its so hard to try to relax and feel cool,calm and collected.I always go for a long walk,for about an hour,i feel much better after getting fresh air,that helps also....

Thanks for your advice!!!!


Tamara :o)

[mgt7274]

join a gun club that helped me

[mystic7]

One of the things not mentioned here is that outward anger is usually something that we are having a problem with inside ourselves. You often see in others what you don't like in yourself!

Turn the focus within. See why it is that you are feeling this way and deal with yourself... before you try to deal with the other person!  It helps!!

Mystic

[selva23]

At some point int time in our lives we all have to deal with Anger.  Everyone deals with it in different ways, but letting Anger get toe the point of Rage is not only un-healthy, but it's dangerous.  Lives are lost due to pent up anger and furestation.

I'm sharing this with you because I've seen 1st hand what anger can do.  I've found ways of coping  that I would like to share.  I know what it's like to be so angry and hurt at the unfairness of like, that you want to lash out.  I used to hold it in, but that only made me physchially sick.  For some, they inflick their emotional pain on others verbal or physcally abusing, or even killing other.  Lets share our pain, not take it out on others.  

Here are some tips:

Three Important Ways to deal with Anger:
Feelings are much like waves. We can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which one to surf." -Jonatan Mårtensson
In the Western world, we think of strength as big muscles, heavy weights, physical power. But in the ancient Eastern cultures, strength means something entirely different. The yogis think of strength more as an ability to overcome powerful emotions such as anger and jealousy.
In the heat of the moment, a normal person (myself included) will want to lash out. In her song "country singer Cynthia Ford catches her husband cheating and responds with anger and jealousy by maxing out his credit cards to misdecorate his house. The words go like this:

So don't write any checks cuz they'll just bounce back
Don't use the credit cards cuz they're all at the max
But don't worry, babe, I spent it all on you
To go along with all the cute little things you do
Oh, I've wanted so long just to wring your neck, oh
Instead I redid your house in White Trash Deco
Is this the best way to respond to anger? Probably not. Can most of us relate to it? Hell, yeah! But if we cultivate the rare ability to overcome powerful emotions, we make better decisions. So much of life comes down to the decisions we make in intense, pivotal moments.
Here are some tips on dealing with anger so you can walk proud on your finest path through life:

1. Remember that anger and love are two sides of the same coin
If you really want love in your life, you must be willing to spend a little time with love's less comfortable relatives, anger and pain. It's common to think that with anger and pain come breakup and divorce. But the bottom line is the more you love someone, the more able they are to piss you off. So be aware: Anger and intense emotion are normal when you truly love and care. Mel McDaniel sings about this two-sided coin i

2. Before you lash out, look within
When you're struggling with anger, it's common to blame others for every little thing. A true sign of strength is taking responsibility for yourself. In Jake Owen comes to a very yogic resolution to dealing with anger:
If I had a dime for half the things I did that didn't make no sense at all
I'd be living a little higher on the hog
If only I'd have known
That later on down the road
I'd look back and not like what I see
I'd have changed a lot of things
Startin' with me

3. Practice feeling without reacting
The 6,000-year old practice of yoga teaches that when you are in challenging situations, you make the best decisions in even the worst of situations if you just breathe and relax. Try it: Lift your arms to the sides of your body and hold them so you form a letter "T." Allow your arms to stay parallel to the ground for 2, 3, even 4 minutes. When your shoulders start to burn, notice that by breathing and relaxing, you gain more endurance. There's very little that physical strength, hustle, and effort can do you for you in this situation. As a famous Zen proverb reads: "Nothing on earth can overcome an absolutely nonresistant person."

This is one of the wonderful posts I came across in this board. btw, it contained good thoughts as well...thanks for sharing it..

[brahma_sky]

Hello, thank you for the wonderful post.

I've had anger problems all of my life, and have spent the last few years trying to learn strategies to deal with it and re-direct it.

One important thing to remember is be careful not to stuff it down into yourself, or it will build to the point you explode over a small thing at some other inappropriate time.  Do things that are physical in nature, such as exercise, heavy chores, yard work, punching a bag in the gym, or chopping wood.

If you're in a situation where you can't get away to do those things, clench and release your fists several times, or make small pounding motions in the air with your clenched fists, like you're shaking out a rug on the patio.

The Yoga "T" position you mentioned is a marvelous idea.  I've been practicing something similar called "the Star Position," which I learned from a book by Gavin and Yvonne Frost.  Stand with your arms stretched out to your sides like the "T," but hold your left hand palm downward at just above waist level, and your right hand palm upward at just above ear level.  This takes advantage of the positive/negative flow of Chi along the body's meridians.

Hope this helps.