how to get advantage in every thing u do

[harshthakkar3]

Get the Instant Advantage in
Every Relationship
The Four Biggest Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
You hate playing games, I know. But you're playing them
anyway, so you might as well win. Whether it's business or
personal the rules are the same to gain the upper hand in any
relationship.
When dating, have you wondered why it seems it's the
on es that you don't really like whom you can't seem to get rid
of and the ones you do  like who never seem to stick around?
The reason is simple. It's not  the person but the way you
behave toward him or her.
What determines interest in another human being is a
fascinating thing. Most people are actually on the fence at the
start of most relationships. This means that almost every time
someone can be swayed toward either liking or disliking you.
And he is moved in either direction—either closer or farther—
depending on how you relate to him.
This is because as human beings we are forever guided
and governed by human nature. The bottom line is that it's
not the person you're dating, it's the things you are doing that
determine his or her level of interest. Otherwise it would be a
start ling coincidence if not  a statistica l improb ability that
everyone you liked just happened to "not want a
commitment" and everyone you weren't that interested in
wanted to marry you. So if it's not you—defined as your looks,
personality, background, and so on—it must be your
behaviour toward this person that determines the direction
and, ultimately, the outcome of the relationship.
This very powerful, yet simple psychological strategy can
be summed up in one sentence: You need to behave with the
person you  don't like the way you've been behaving with the
person you do like, and vice versa. While there are many little
aspects of one's behaviour, there axe four main factors, which
are discussed below.

AV A ILA B ILIT Y
People want what they can't have. By constantly making
yourself available, you're actually diminishing your value. This
is not a trick or a game to play, but a function of human
behaviour. Attraction is not a fixed value. This means that what
someone thinks about you is determined to a large extent by
what you do, not by just who you are or what you look like.
The law of scarcity is prevalent and rele vant in every area of
our lives, especially here. That which is plentiful is often
underappreciated and that which is rare is held in high
regard and considered valuable. When you are dating
someone whom you are not that interested in, you tend to
make yourself available when it's convenient  for you. And
when you're dating someone who you really like you're
consistently available. Do the reverse!
This means when you're dating  someone you don't like too
much, if you're not baking cookies for him, calling him twice a
day, asking where the relationship is going, and so on, then
do n't do it with  the person you like. And by the way, when you
do this with the ones you don't like, they'll be scared off soon
enough, so you've eliminated this problem as well.
But wait! In Chapter 1, Get Anyone to Like You . . . Every
Time, we said that if you want someone to like you, you want to
make yourself available, because this increases liking. If this is
so, doesn't it contradict the  law of scarcity? Here's what is
often misunderstood. If you want someone to like you, then
you do indeed want to be in their company fairly often. This is
true, but remember that liking  is the foundation for every
relationship. That means that once you move past the liking
stage (meaning the person is already fond of you) and the
relationship unfolds into something more serious, you then
want to limit your availability.
Power Point
Here's a question. Don't we often see good-looking people with at-
tractive partners and vice versa? If attraction has little to do with ap-
pearance then why is this so? It's because we are often most comfortable
with those of similar levels of attractiveness. (This coincides with studies
that show that people are generally friends with those of similar levels
of attractiveness.) A good-looking person can sometimes make a less
attractive person feel uncomfortable. So this less attractive person
tends to lose perspective and act differently—meaning that she puts the
person on a pedestal and does the four things outlined in this chapter
that she shouldn't be doing. But it's the things that she's doing—not
her—the physical person—that make the difference. This is validated
by the fact that sometimes attractive people are with less attractive
people. In these relationships it's likely that the less attractive person
feels confident about the relationship and hence behaves differently
than their less attractive counterparts. (This "confidence" is replicated
here when we apply the four factors to gaining leverage in the rela-
tionship.)

PE R SPE CT I VE  
In your relationships, you need perspective. In life, when we
derive pleasure from only one source we tend to
overemphasize  its value and importance. You should find
meaning in your life outside of the relationship so this person
doesn't become your whole world. It's important to feel fulfilled
in other areas of your life so you're able to maintain a sensible
perspective and not rely on someone else's affections as your
sole source of satisfaction and happiness. When you're dating
someone you're not too interested in, you have plenty of per-
spective because you're not thinking, "This is the only person
for me; if I don't have him my world is over." You're thinking, "All
right, let's see what happens; maybe he'll grow on me, and
maybe he won't." And it's precisely that mentality that
translates into the best attitude. And it's this att itude and your
corresponding  behaviour  that actually make you more
attractive.
PASSION
Here's the crux of how and why relationships work or fail.
Simply, you can't appreciate what you take for granted. This
is essentially why people, in general, become unhappy in their
own lives. They always want more but are never grateful for
what they have. And if you are not grateful for what you have,
you will begin to take it for granted. And when you do this,
you no longer appreciate it. And when you don't appreciate
something it holds no enjoyment for you. The same holds
true for relationships. If someone takes you for granted he or
she will not appreciate you and will begin to look for someone
else. Similarly, if you went to the doctor and were told that you
might lose your hearing, you would probably develop a
renewed ap preciation for sound.
Our gratitude lies in being reminded that we should not take
these things for granted. And you don't take for granted what
you believe can be taken away from you at any time.
Similarly, if the object of your affections is a bit insecure with
the relationship—meaning there is an element of doubt—
then his or her lack of confidence will not lead to arrogance
and ingratitude. You must create an element of uncertainty or
you will lose the passion that drives the relationship.
Power Point
Since it's possible for someone to be taken away from us at any time—
by accident, by illness—why do you have to create more doubt? If
you're in love, you don't. This is for those who are not yet at that stage,
for whom we artificially and temporarily create the same "atmo-
sphere" of uncertainty.

Ag ain, witho ut some doubt there is the feeling that "you
will always be there." Then he no longer sees how great you
are and loses appreciat ion for you. He begins to take you for
granted and the passion dies. But you, in your relationship,
can within a second reignite th e p assion and turn the
relationship around by introducing an element of doubt.
Passion is extinguished when there is no doubt because
when there's no doubt you will be taken for granted. Just as in
the previous example of going to the doctor: You never gave
your hearing a second thought until you thought that it
might not be there. When doubt is introduced into the
equation it changes your perspective! I cannot stress this
enough: You will be taken for granted and not appreciated
and the passion will go out of the relationship if all elements of
doubt are removed.
Unfortunately, when we are insecure about a relationship
we harm it further by being dingier because we need
reassurance.  But in doing so you reinforce that you are
forever his and remove in his mind any doubt that you might
not always be there. And then passion is extinguished.  It is a
fact of human nature. But now that you understand you can
use it to your advantage.
Remember that this and the other factors in this chapter
are not ideas or tricks that work sometimes. These are laws
that dictate human behaviour. If you use them and op erate
within these parameters you can succeed at gaining
complete leverage in any relationship. But finally, make sure
that you don't make the mistake that most do when it comes to
... how you make them feel.
Power Point
Why can't I have an open, honest, and trusting relationship? You can, of
course, but you have to wait until you are in love with each other—and
here's why. The above three tactics are ego-based and are designed to
get you to this point, but should be discontinued so that you can move
on to a mature and lasting relationship. Briefly, love is the absence of
ego or the "I." And once love takes root, the dynamics of the relation-
ship change so that the more the person is available, and the more he
does for you, the more you love him. As far as passion goes, you need
only introduce some uncertainty should you feel that you are being
taken for granted.

How You MAKE THEM  FEEL
A person likes you based on how you make her feel about
herself. This doesn't contradict the above. You should still
maintain the above behaviour—regarding your attitude  and
availability—but you do want to treat the person well. It is bad
advice, thoug h often g iven, that you don't want to build up
someone's confidence, and be overly flattering and
complimentary, because then she will "know that you like her"
and back off. To a degree, we know this can be true,
because when someone likes us, while we are flattered, we
can find ourselves less interest ed in that person. This
reaction comes courtesy of the rule that says, We want what
we can't have and want more of that which we have to work
for.  Simply, if it falls in our laps we tend to have less
appreciation for it.
But herein lies the crucial difference between being
attentive and kind versus telling her that she is your entire world
and the only person for you. (Because, as we talked about, this
rem oves doubt and begins to erode the passion.) The former is
more objective and has to do primarily with her. The latter
involves your relationship  and invokes the rule of scarcity.
Notice the crucial difference between saying how much you
like this person—which makes you lose leverage—and t elling
her that she is a likable and great person. Merely stating that
somebody is terrific makes her feel great and makes you look
great. It's a winning combination because it's only the confident
person who tells another how wonderful and terrific she is. And
we like confident and secure people! The distinction is often
blurred and we end up trying to "play it cool" and not wanting
to "show our hand." This accomplishes little and creates a
cold and uncomfortable atmosphere. But lavishing this
person with "objective" praise shows you in the best and
most confident light and makes her feel great!  Again, you
want to let her know that you think she's great but not  that she
is your whole world and that you can't live without her.
The fastest way to lose leverage and to lose someone that
you like is to do the opposite of the above. That means
making yourself completely available, having no perspective,
removing all doubt, and being uncomplimentary. Do this and
you can be sure that you'll be back da ting someone  whom  
you don't like very much. And he'll stick around because
you'll do all the right things.  

Strategy Review
People want what they can't have and they want more of
what they have to work for. If you are easy to come,
then you may be easy to let go.
If you have an unbalanced life you will have a
distorted view of the relationship. Balance gives you
perspective, and perspective allows you to make better
decisions in the relationship.
When all doubt is removed, the person will take you for
granted.  Introduce an element of uncertainty to
instantly reignite the passion.
A person likes you based, in part, on how you
make  h er feel about herself. Make her feel good and
she will feel good about you.
Read through the tactics in the following chapter to
round out your overall strategy.

[citiboi_219]

Love this! Am going to use the available/not available technique immediately on sexy people. Make them feel that they can't win everything. Make them yearn for me.

But above all, make them realise that everybody is good looking.

[taraprincess]

im going to go by this too, this is very helpful this is awesome. now that i read this i made alot of mistakes with my ex. now i know what to do in my next relationship thanks harshthakkar3