Get Anyone to See You as Pure Gold
#1 Rule of Selling Yourself in Every Area of Life
Here is one of the greatest truths in life: If you don't place a
value on yourself, somebody else will. How do you get the
best deal, the finest advantage, or the greatest edge in
anything? Here's how: Ask for the moon and settle for the
stars. In the previous chapter we talked about gaining leverage
in relationships. But when you're in a relationship of any sort,
you want to invoke the power of this law to give you the ul-
t imate edge.
Almost everything in life is subjective. This means that there
is no absolute truth and opinions tend to become facts in
most new situations. All other information is then filtered
t hrough th is ne w be lief structure. If you want to give yourself,
or anything for that matter, inst ant wort h, you need to create
the right image. In negotiations start off very high, even if it's
a little unreasona ble. This is important because you will have
set the tone. (Bear in mind, you also don't want to be
ridiculously high, because you want to be taken seriously.)
Whenever you are dealing with someone or something of
unknown value the first one who places a value on it
establishes its worth. To be clear, when we speak of the
value of a person, we mean the perceived value to others,
not, of course, the individual's value as a human being.
Therefore, value is an unknown quantity whose perception
can be altered with the application of two specif ic psycho-
logical principles.
Whenever you're dealing with an intangible, establish its
wo rth where you want it, and as long as there is no
established value, you will not be seen as unreasonable.
Let's say you're an amateur photographer—you take
pictures as a hobby—and someone wants to hire you as a
freelancer. How much do you charge? Well, some pho-
tographers charge as much as $10,000 a day. Are you in their
league? Probably not, but if you charge $100 a day clearly you
will not be perceived as one of the best. Will you be laughed at
if you say your fee is $3,000 for the day? Not likely. Even if you
think they can't afford to pay you that much, you're now
negotiating from a very high starting point—one that you've
established. In the end you can charge them much less and
they will be elated because they are not getting a $500-a-day
photographer. No, they're getting a $3,000-a-day photographer
for a mere $500!
Let's take a look at how this law affects us in our daily life.
Let's say that you're shopping and you notice a jacket that you
think is reasonably priced at $69. You think, "Okay, not too
bad." Then you realize it's $690. Suddenly your opinion of the
jacket changes dramatically. You beg in to realize that what
you thought was fair quality is really exquisite tailoring and
you "notice" every little detail and can now "see" how it could
be so expensive. At $690 you might not buy it, but if it went on
sale the next week for $129, you just might snatch it up. Why?
Because of its perceived value.
Now there's one other factor other than price that helps to
e stablish value. The other criterion that determines worth is
how available something is. Simply, the scarcer something is,
the greater the value people place on it. Gold, oil, and
diamonds are much more valuab le than water and air
because they are not as plentiful. Even though water and air
are indispensable to our survival, it's gold and precious
jewels that we value. (Until, of course, you're without water for
a day; then its scarcity makes it more valuable than a king's
ransom.)
So how do you establish your "worth" in personal
relationships? You can make yourself more valuable by not
being so available. Sex? Give it freely initially, and little value is
placed on it, and on you. This is as true for men as it is for
women. At work . . . your time? If you're sit ting by th e water
cooler all day, how do you think you'll be perceived by your
boss and co-workers? Will you be judged as valuable or a dime
a dozen?
Strategy Review
Price and availability are the most dominant
psychological factors that determine the value of just
about anything or any person. Manipu lating these two
factors will dramatically increase or decrease how
valuable an d worthy we think someone or something is.
how to make people see a pure gold in us
Learn meditation techniques to relax and improve your own thought processes.
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