make any one follow u r commitment

[harshthakkar3]

Get Anyone to Follow Through on
a Commitment to You
"But you promised!" If you're tired of saying this, the
following strategy will help to ensure that you' ll be able to
get any person to follow th rou gh on anything  that he's
promised to you.
The most effective psychological tool for getting
someone to follow through is to let him know that you
believe  that he is the t ype of person who  does follow
through.  Using phrases such as "You're the kind of person
who . . ."; "You've always impressed me with your ability to .
. ."; or "I've always liked the fact that you . . ." invokes the
powerful psychological law of internal consistency.
These phrases make the person feel compelled to f ollow
through because you involve the ego and create a sense
of desired consistency. People have an inherent need to
perform in a manner consistent with how they see
t hemselves and with how t hey think others perceive them.
That's why one of the biggest mistakes people make is
saying things like, "Come on, please do it"; "I just knew this
was going to be a problem"; "I just knew you weren't going
to do this"; or "I don't know why I bothered to count on you."
This does not generate any psychological motivation to
prove you wrong. These comments address someone's
actions  not her identity and force her ego  to come up with
reasons to justify her behaviour, not to change it\
For example, let's say you've asked someone to work on
some files for you over the next two weeks. Don't say, "How
are they coming?" or "Shouldn't you have st arted by now?"
This o nly provides an opportunity for either an excuse or a
chance for her to back out. Instead say, "You know, Sally I
appreciate your helping me with those files. I respect the
fact that you're the kind of person who not only offers to
help but follows through until she gets the job done." With
the se words you've wrapped this person's self-concept into
a single cause. How you see her is woven into her
behaviour toward this project. You can be sure she will
comply and continue working on it so that your image of
her is not tarnished.  

This makes it nearly impossible for her to say, "I'm too
busy or I don't feel like doing it." Because not only would
she risk your questioning who she is but this would leave
her wondering as well. Simply, she fancies seeing herself
as someone who "follows through on things . . . and can
be cou nted o n," etc. If she abandons this project, then she
has to ask herself, "What land of person am I?" This is
something very few people are willing or able to do.
Another version of this tactic—which can also be used in
conjunction with the first one—is to invoke a generic value
identity. For instan ce, you can incorporate th emes such as
f riendship, commitment to work, a sense of decency—all
qualities that most people aspire to ident ify wit h. A
question like, "Isn't it amazing how some people don't
know the definition of the word friendship?" is so powerful.
With this one statement you bring her value system—what
is important to her—into the task. Now this is not an
isolated job, but something that  actually defines your
friendship.  She's risking more than just annoying you by
bailing out; she's risking the relationship. Instead of this just
being an isolated project, you're able to bring your entire
f riendship and the power that it has into t his one task.
These psychology-laden phrases will help keep her
moving along, but when you want someone to follow
through, it's crucial to lay the groundwork when you first
ask for the favour. Take a look at the following study and
then we'll discuss it.
Angela Lipsitz and others (1989) report that ending
blo od-drive reminder calls with, "We'll count on seeing you
then, okay?" and then pausing for response increased the
show-up rate from 62 to 81 percent. Just this one phrase
increased the rate by about 20 percent. When you initially
ask for the favour, make sure that you give a quick verbal
confirmation.  This  dramatically increases the level of
internal consistency as you solidify your chances of getting
someone to follow through.
Power Point
Keep in mind that the act of volunteering makes it more likely that
a person will follow through. If a certain task was thrust upon
someone, you're going to risk an internal justification—where the
thinking might be, "If I don't follow through, he'll be mad. I will
feel guilty or suffer some form of retribution." This can hinder his
enthusiasm for completing the task i f he's able to resolve thi s
internal conflict. In other words, he's not doing it because he's a
great guy who follows through, but rather because he has  to. To
override this thinking (when you think it may be a problem), you just
need to include the phrase, "I know you co uld have g otten out of it
if you wanted to."
This is because when we volunteer, cognitive dissonance is
reduced with the continuing thought that "I must really want to be
doing this." The only other rationale is, "I'm an idiot and I never
should have agreed to this." Most people's psyches are more

comfortable with the first rationalization. This is why we often see
people doing things that seem completel y absurd or out of
character for them.
But wait, there's more! When you initially ask a person for
the favour, follow this five-phase process to solidify his
intent to help.
You tell a friend, for example, that you're having
problems with your computer and he cheerfully offers to try
to come by next Saturday. Now, he just might be saving this
to be nice or because he actually inte nds to  try to come by.
But you really need his help, and to make sure you get it,
you want to move him internally and turn a casual offer into
a firm commitment. You'll see that by applying a specif ic
psychological sequence, you can take a vague offer and
turn it into a specific, firm commitment.
Five-Step Process
1. Get him to say it: When you say it, it's one thing, but
when he says it, it takes his commitment to a whole new
level.  You want him to say the words. Therefore, you say,
"Do you really mean that?" or "Are you serious?" He will
most likely respond with, "Yes, I'll help you on Saturday."
2.  Get a specific time frame: You want him to commit to a
time in which he will help you and/or to a time frame of
how long it will take for him to complete his task. In
this example, you would say, "Great, what time?" and
"Any idea of how long it might take?"
3.  Develop a sense of obligation: It's important to let him
know that because of his help, you are going to in
some way alter  what you were going to do. Viewing his
help as a plus is only part of it. He needs, too, to see
that the withdrawal  of his offer will cause a disturbance.
If he reneges and there are no repercussions, then he
will see that things are no worse off for you than before
he offered. In this case, you might let him know that
you are cancelling other appointments and moving
your schedule around to accommodate him.
4. A sense of conscience: You want to relay that you are
now  de pendent upon him for his help. Now is the time
where you  let him know how important  his help really is.
Mention any consequences that you might suffer if he
doesn't come through. In this example, it might be that
your computer is necessary to get a report  in  and
maybe you'll get in hot water if it's not in on time—or
something to that effect.

5.  Seeing is believing: Real estate agents know the power
of this tactic. When showing a home they want the
people to envision  it as theirs. Taking it f rom someone
else's house to their home is a powerful visual  
technique. So when showing the customer around they'll
ask questions such as, "Where do you think you might
put the TV?" and "Where will the sofa go"? In this ex
ample you might ask your friend, "What will you do first?
Hook up the monitor or go through the booklet?" You
want him to "see" himself doing what he says he will.

Power Point
Master magician Harry Houdini offered a simple explanatio n when
asked how he was able to so easily escape from a closed and locked
safe. He said, "Safes are built to keep people from getting in, not to
keep  people from gettin g out." If you  want to double-check to make
sure that someone's truly committed then use this quick technique.
There is a psychological door that we keep guarded and tightly
closed, but there's always a back door that we can walk right through.
This Back Door tactic is a simple and highly effective questioning tech-
nique. It works because no matter how well practiced someone is
at convincing you of his sincerity, he isn't prepared to respond to this
tactic.
The key phrase is: "What would have to happen for this not to work
out?" This is so effective because his entire line of thought is not on
why he wouldn't do something but on why he would. He's used to an-
swering questions as to why he is doing or will do what he says he will.
But answering clearly what would prevent him from accomplishing his
objective requires that he would first have to have true intentions of do-
ing it. Put simply, it's asking him to think like a person who holds a dif-
ferent belief. Under normal circumstances—if he was honest in his
intentions—this wouldn't be a problem, but it becomes one when an
individual is not sincere.
After you ask this question the only answer you should expect is a
fast "nothing" or a reasonable obstacle—something specific that is be-
yond his control. We all have reservations, and acknowledging them
doesn't hamper our commitment. It just makes us honest. But if you
ask Jake what would prevent him from marrying his girlfriend next year
and he smiles and says,"l don't know ... if things change ... or some-
thing," Jake is not committed. If you merely ask,"You will marry Jane,
right?" then he'll respond with a convincing yes, and give you all the
reasons why he loves her. Because this is the question that he's been
getting consistently and he can answer it easily and believably. The re-
verse, however, is not what he's expecting or is prepared for.

Strategy Review
When you initially ask for the favour, hit as many of these
f ive points as you can: (a) Get him to say it; (b) get a specific
time frame; (c) develop a sense of oblig ation; (d) engage his
conscience; and (e) have him tell you how things will unfold.  
Then end the conversation with a firm verbal
confirmation and a simple phrase such as, "So I'll see you
n ext Sat urday, right?"
Finally, as the day approaches let him know that you
appreciate that he's someone who really f ollows through
and/or that you are glad that he knows the true value of
f riendship/responsibility/loyalty—whichever best applies.

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