How do i control my anger?

zannierose · Post by **zannierose** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:12 am

Cherry plum is a flower remedy that helps with the energy of anger, as well as the suicidal thoughts you mentioned in an earleir post

The sedoan method is also a useful support for some

Just takes a few moments a day,

'I let myself feel just as angry as I do feel

I let myself feel just as calm as I do

as angry as I feel
as calm as I feel

am I willing to release this...
if so..when....'

deceptively simple

zannie rose

NSSF · Post by **NSSF** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:22 am

i had an anger problem, and at first meditating and sitting down quietly helped greatly, however, that doesnt always work, an after a while it stopped for me...

After that i started writing, i got into a deal that my friend would teach me music production if i wrote him lyrics, it was an unfair deal to him and im surpised at how kind he was...

with neither of us knowing it, he had given me a way to accuratly vent my anger, he gave me a reason to let it all go, with out anyone but him seeing, and he never once commented on my writing...

my suggestion is this, when ever you feel angry, write, write it down, not as a poem, dont make it rhyme, dont feel erged to write, just poar it out on the paper, it doesnt even have to be about why you are angry, just let out your negitivity, then burn the paper, no one has to see, and its best not to remind yourself of your anger, or maye even keep the writings, ive been doing this since late January, i have 50 + poems, all sorted by age. recently i read them, and laughed, its a great feeling to know that youve gotten rid of a HUGE problem.

if poetry isnt your thing, sing, just to yourself, in the bath, in your room, alone, or, if not, write a diary, and hide it, or make sure others know that its yours, and you dont want them reading. if that doesnt work, tell soeone, someone close, if its not too much for you, this didnt work for me because i feel really bad after pouring my heart out and makeing someone listen, but im just me, it may work for you ;)

Good luck, and i hope this helps

Natias

sambogakaya · Post by **sambogakaya** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:28 am

awwww NAT... You CAN always talk to me... im ur bestest buddy and btw your poems rock my socks and I agree with 90% of what you said I find that dance and concentrating on music lets out anger best.... if not that my videos

(only 2 ppl know about those) but yeah I think getting other peoples ideas on a situation is best but if you don't want to talk..... just vent the best way for you every one is different.....

Post by **swetha** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 5:33 am

hello Natias,
thanks a ton:)
i have always felt that when i am angry.. if i just vent out my anger in writing what i am feeling at the moment or some kind of work.. i feel much better immediately. but then it gets me thinking that its not the final solution and that its just for the time being.
but i gues i am trying to get a hold on myself!
but if someone hurts me..i just dont know how to get over it.
i have alot of stuff on this forum and it has helped me immensely but i feel i still have that last stage to cross where i can stop getting hurt and can make myself forgive people.
swetha

NSSF · Post by **NSSF** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 6:46 am

swetha wrote:hello Natias,
thanks a ton:)
i have always felt that when i am angry.. if i just vent out my anger in writing what i am feeling at the moment or some kind of work.. i feel much better immediately. but then it gets me thinking that its not the final solution and that its just for the time being.
but i gues i am trying to get a hold on myself!
but if someone hurts me..i just dont know how to get over it.
i have alot of stuff on this forum and it has helped me immensely but i feel i still have that last stage to cross where i can stop getting hurt and can make myself forgive people.
swetha

getting hurt by a loved one is the biggest pain, like a scar, it never leaves, unlike a scar, if you fogive them, it fades...

dont forever wallow on petty matters, its not worth it, instead look back on the times you have enjoyed...

if its a stranger, or an aquantences, forget it...

however, bare in mind that certain problems are not to be buried, if its serious, talk to someone... talk to the person, talk to the person that means most to you, like you best friend, partner, or your mother. if its extreamly serious, get the police involved...

trust in yourself, and look deep enough to see your heart, and that deep down, you will see that they are not so bad... look down and find the corage to say that you forgive them. ive been in your shoes before, i feel for you, its hard i know, swallowing your pride to say i forgive you is hard, but worth it. whats more, your best friend, or you pride that if the person that hurt you is a good friend will forget anyway

remeber, your pride is not always the best thing to have, its good most of the time, but when it comes to forgiveness, its a bugger to move... if you are not sure wheter the person deseaves forgivness, there is many people to talk to, remeber your loved ones, talk to them, im sure that there is one that is willing to help

and if you dont believe that telling someone helps, just look at what you typed! "i have alot of stuff on this forum and it has helped me immensely" thats from random people, imagen your best friend?

Hurting yourself does not solve any thing, and neither does hiding it from yourself, embrace the problem and work out a way to find the answer to it

Be Strong

Natias

Post by **swetha** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 9:02 am

hello Natias,
thanks for ur lovely post.
i understand what u r saying. and i guess must b fed up with me too:)
but everyone has been kind enuf to me to help me out.
i know its not easy.. but i can do it.
forgiveness....

i cud talk to someone... but i care for that person who has hurt me.so i dont want anyone to talk bad about him. and i dont seem to b able to get thru to him...as he is ashamed of what he has done and cant talk to me about it.
so i am left with anger that i dont know how to control. but have been successful to a great extent:)
thanks Natias ***hug***

NSSF · Post by **NSSF** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 11:22 am

swetha wrote:hello Natias,
thanks for ur lovely post.
i understand what u r saying. and i guess must b fed up with me too:)
but everyone has been kind enuf to me to help me out.
i know its not easy.. but i can do it.
forgiveness....
i cud talk to someone... but i care for that person who has hurt me.so i dont want anyone to talk bad about him. and i dont seem to b able to get thru to him...as he is ashamed of what he has done and cant talk to me about it.
so i am left with anger that i dont know how to control. but have been successful to a great extent:)
thanks Natias ***hug***

ill never get annoyed with someone who is going through hard times ;)

if you find a friend who you can cry on, it will be ok to talk to him/her, if she/he is a true friend, then they will understand. if you dont want to talk to the friend, talk to him, tell him how you feel, and ask how he feels on the matter... no good will come from keeping it in ;)

dont be left with anger, thats not right, why should you suffer for others mistakes?

Post by **swetha** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 4:07 pm

thats quite true,
" y shd i suffer for someone else's mistakes"???
i have a life to live..and there isnt enuf time left for the amt of things i want to do:)
high time i stopped moping around:d
thanks
swetha

aelis2004 · Post by **aelis2004** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 2:35 pm

Hi swetha,

you've already received so many suggestions.... I have had a few bouts of depressions till about last summer. Then things improved.... Lots of things happened:
1) I felt my efforts were appreciated and that people cared for me
2) I felt more spiritual and did a lot more meditation
3) I changed the way I viewed life.

I have never been a very competitive person, never felt the need to show off my skill to others, but despite this I recently decided I had to take it easy for a while. But the most important thing of all was to appreciate the little things of life - a fresh breeze on a hot day, a quiet cup of tea, sipping it slowly, listening to the birds singing, feeling in touch with nature when walking the dogs.... if you take pleasure in all tiny things, even tidying up your table or putting books back on a shelf, then you'll be happy. Take pleasure in the tiniest details, and if something doesn't go the way you wanted, just think that it will straighten itself out tomorrow. And at night when you go to bed, fall asleep thinking of the nice things you've noticed during the day, somebody's smile, a bird perched near your window, a butterfly.... whatever. And that will give you a feeling of calmness and peace. It worked wonders for me - while I once felt sad and frustrated, angered at myself, I am now a happy and optimistic person.
Take care...

Pravin Kumar · Post by **Pravin Kumar** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:50 pm

Sweta Bete,

If you succeed in controlling your Anger then Abhishek will smell something fishy. A person should maintain his identity. Just have sufficient control over anger but not total.

One of my cousins snores so heavily in the night that his husband is now used to it for the last 28 years. During this deluge of water in Bomay my cousin got stuck up with her Mom. Poor Husband could not sleep those two nights as he was accustomed to those heavy booming snores. So don't you control your anger totally otherwise Abhishek ka kya hoga.

Ha Ha Ha.

Pravin Kumar.

Post by **swetha** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 5:46 pm

Pravinji,
thanks for ur advice. will keep in mind:)
before when i used to get angry i used to hit my hand against the wall. Abhishek used to tell me why r u hurting urself... hit me. but the thought of hurting him was a bit too much for me. that how my anger has come under control:)

sambogakaya · Post by **sambogakaya** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 8:47 pm

I didn't read all of the post (sorry) but so far I have read that it seemed as though you were upset by a guy.... and well yeah I can relate with you there.... my ex PROMISED me that he would at least brake up with me in person becouse he had 'respect' for me.... he calls at 1:30 in the MORNING and brakes up with me.... I was sooo upset and sick i still can't eat and its a week later litteraly... he now has a new girlfriend after always telling me that if we ever split he would be too upset to go out with any one else any sooner then a month..... I still think of all the times we had together and what we should have been and could have been..... but then I realise that it was his fault and he lost me for HIS petty reasons and I was so angry with him becouse I stayed with him when things were bad for him... and he left me cuz of alskdjflksdjf nvm that.... what I do is this.... I listen to my favorite songs in foriegn languages that wasy it can be upbeat and happy and possible about love but sinse i dont understand it I can't complain and I DANCE!!! now most people dance to forget and some dance to remember... I dance for both... I also try to go out with my friends and be busy with others... others who will slap you if you bring up why you were upset...

not always pleasent but it helps.... and I hope this helps you some.... but realy if it is a guy... don't talk to him for awhile and let the wound heal and once you feel better about it talk to him if you feel you need to.... I'm still not sure if I'll talk to this one again.... he ruined and betrayed me in soooo many ways that it is unforgivable... but I HAVE forgiven him.... and now I need to forgive myself for the foolish mistakes I have made... which for me requires more dancing and meditating plus plus... I hope you will find a way to controll your anger... and if I was off on my post about it being a guy im sorry... I realy shouldnt skim read...
and btw ALWAYS do what makes YOU happy not others for they will not always be there as much as you wish they would be.... anger is mainly coused by lost couse that you had worked on..... live for the best is all I can say realy....

Deborah · Post by **Deborah** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 11:29 pm

I think the trick is to not let the anger consume you ..think of it as a win or loose if you let the anger consume you then you have let the anger win..

I think it has to do with what is making you so angry as well... to deal with certain aspects in life takes different angles .......dont walk away from the anger but deal with it ..and do not hide from it .this only makes it worse..

if you have a good friend confide in them...this helps to have a ear that dont mind if your tears drop on the shoulder ...or if you shout they will always understand

Meditation

best advice i can give on any subject is to follow your heart. It will never fail to tell you what is right or wrong.

Swetha remember there are people here and elsewhere that love you!

Your like a sis to me ..you can cry

on my shoulder any time.... you can shout

in my ear...even stomp ur foot

at me..I am always hear to listen if you need someone to talk to.

Post by **swetha** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 5:53 am

hello sambogakaya,
i understand what u r saying. and u make a lot of sense too:)
thanks dear. and yest i told myself...we r human..bound to make mistakes..and when the person who has hurt u is ashamed too and terribly sorry about it.. then i shd forgive him.
so i decided that its high time i think about forgiveness. i know it doesnt come easily to me but i want to give it my best shot:)
thanks for being there.
swetha

Post by **swetha** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 5:56 am

hi Debbie,
u r a darling:)
thanks for being there
swetha

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How do i control my anger?

Anger control

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