get any one to take ur advice

[harshthakkar3]

Get Anyone to Take Your Advice
You've got a great idea but nobody is listening to you!
This can be extremely frustrating but by following a
specific psychological strategy you can virtually  ensure
that anyone will listen to what you have to say.  Th e
three main factors of influence here are (1) emotions,
(2) strategy, and (3) consequences.
It's been clearly established, through numerous
studies, that you need to appeal to a person's
emotions in your attempt to persuade. No matter how
rational and logical your argument is, if you do not
arouse emotions you will have great difficulty influenc-
ing him.
Ninety percent of the decisions we make are based
on emotion. We then use logic  to justify  our actions. If
you appeal to someone on a strictly logical basis, you
will have little chance of persuading him. You need to
translate the facts into an emotion-based statement—
and give clear and specific benefits that appeal to the
persons emotions.
Studies show that in addition to arousing strong
emotions you will be especially effective when you offer
a specific game plan with a clear-cut course of action for
proceeding. When we are passionately mot ivated to
take action and move forward, it  is essential that we
understand  the  direction  and the method  for
proceeding. It makes us feel comfortable  and  secure
knowing that the path is clearly lit and laid out.  Whe n
you want someone to listen to your advice, provide
more than just the desired destination; also give her a
map for getting there.
It has been shown that if you add to this how your
idea will prevent  negative or unpleasant consequences
you will be infinitely more successful in your attempt to
persuade (Leventhal, Singer, and Jones, 1965). A well-
known sweepstakes company used to have a slogan
that said: You can be a winner. It did very well with this
for a  long time. But then, I'm sure after consulting a
psychologist or two, its slogan changed to You may
already  be a winner. This greatly increased their
success. Why? Because now the person receiving this
envelope became fearful that he might lose something
that  h e a lready had . Throw out an envelope that
contains untold riches? No way! This was different than  
gaining something new, as the old slogan implied.

Now he risked losing  something. This is a much more
powerful motivator. Therefore, focus on what he will be
saving himself from (i.e., th e heartache, m oney, ene rgy,
etc.) rather than what he has to gain from listening to
you.
Four other psychological factors to consider
People tend to respond more favourably to solutions if
they believe the plan of action came from them. Try to
remind someone that it was he who first had the idea or
put you in the right direction, etc.
 Let him know too that this new way of thinking is really
consistent with who he is. Remind  him of other thing s
he's done that are consistent with this current belief or
action. You may recall from a previous chapter th at all
human beings have an inherent need for order and
consist ency. If he views this as a continuation of his
thinking and not a departure from it, you'll increase your
chances of getting compliance.

Nobody wants to hear advice from a "know-it-all." One
of the very best ways of offering advice is to let the
person  know  that you don't believe you have all the
answers. You'll be perceived as infinitely more credible
and sincere. A great way to phrase your advice is,
"There are things I think I know, and there are things I
know I know. And this is something that I know I know."

Above all, remember enthusiasm is contagious. The
more excited and passionate you are about what
you're saying  the more excited he will become about it.
Follow this strategy for sure-fire success, but before you
do, let's take a look at one of the biggest mistakes that
people make whe n giving advice. Th is aspect  of
human nature is responsible for more "stubborn"
thinking than anything else. Research in human
behaviour shows us that when we feel our freedom is
being restricted or limited we tend to move farther
toward what is being limited.
The name given to this is called reactance  and it
occurs when we feel that someone is trying to limit our
freedom. And it can be so powerful that Rhodewalt
and Davison (1983) found that people may do the
opposite  of what you are asking—just because of reac-
tance.
In situations that are likely to generate reactance
you will meet with great resistance if you promote a
hard sell. No one will listen with an open mind to what
you have to say, if he feels he's being forced into it.
And in fact, that makes sense. Why listen if you feel
that your own wishes aren't being considered?

Therefore, the best approach is to let the person know
ahead  of time that he  has the final say on what he
ultimately does. Then lay out the facts, presenting both
sides—the pros and the cons (you'll see in another
chapter why this is necessary) and follow the rest of
the tactics in this section.