Get Anyone to Do a Favour for You
How would you like to get complete cooperation from anyone
in any situation? Well, now you can if you follow these sure-
fire tactics for cooperation anytim e, anyplace, for just about
anything. These are the ten factors that influence whether
somebody helps you out or politely (or not so politely) refuses
your request. (If you're worried that once he agrees to help,
he might not follow through, simply use the techniques in
Chapter 15, Get Anyone to Follow Through on a Commitment
to You.)
1. TIME COMPONENT
When is the best time to ask for a f avour? Should you ask
close to the time you want someone to take action or as far in
advance as possible? The answer is when the event is
farther in the future. As the event approaches the greater the
anxiety and the "re alness" of what he has to do sets in, and
the less likely it will be for you to gain cooperation. If you need
help with something right away though, studies suggest that
you should find someone who is not rushed or preoccupied
with something else. The ability to gain cooperation from some-
one who is not under a time constraint goes up
dramatically, compared with someone who is preoccupied or
rushed.
2. RE C I PR O C IT Y
Have you ever wondered why religious groups offer
passers-b y a flower or some other gift in the airport? They
know that most people who accept the gift will then feel
compelled to give a small donation. We know we don't have
to, but we can become uncomfortable, even though we didn't
ask for the gift in the first place. When someone gives us
something, we often feel indebted to that person. If you offer
something, anything, to your target person you will
significantly increase compliance. Your "gift" can take the form
of your time, your attention, or even a small gesture or
compliment.
3. BY S TA ND ER APA T HY
Numerous studies in helping show that as the number of
bystanders increased the percentage of individuals who
helped those in need decreased. This is called the bystander
effect whereby behaviour is influenced by the diffusion of
responsibility. This is true of almost all situations. When you
want someone to do something for you let him know that you
have no one else to turn to. If he thinks that you can go to
anyone and that it's not up to him to be the good guy then his
sense of responsibility is lessened and he doesn't feel any
moral obligation to help out.
4. MOOD
Is it best to wait for him to be in a good mood before you ask?
Not necessarily. There are actually slightly different dynamics
at work, and hence strategies depending on his mood.
Research shows that if he's in a good mood, you want to let
him know clearly what you need for him to do and that he will
feel good about it in some way. This is because positive
emotions can result in less helpfulness if the need is
ambiguous or the consequences of helping are unpleasant.
When we're feeling good we don't want t o lose our mood.
Studies also show that negative emotions can increase a
person's willingness to help because helping makes people
feel good and those in a bad mood are motivated to take
action to make themselves feel better.
There are some exceptions here, but for the most part the
required behaviour has to be perceived as relatively easy and
effective and it has to seem clear that the helpful act will lead
to more positive feelings. So when he's not in a great mood,
be sure to emphasize that what you want him to do will not
take a lot of effort and that he will indeed feel good after he's
done what you' ve asked of him.
5. AP A T HY O R EMP A T HY
If the person thinks that your situation is due to incompetence
or ignorance, you will generate apathy, not sympathy. And if
you don't have a person's empathy or sympathy it is much
more diff icult to g et his help.
Get Anyone to Do a Favour for You
Learn meditation techniques to relax and improve your own thought processes.
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