should i cast a spell on my mother?

[lylakpetals]

I"m 22 years old, and I live in the south.  My mom is a christian and she doesn't like my boyfriend because he's white, and because he doesn't have a job.  

I don't have any friends, and my family doesn't like me because i'm into witchcraft.  I've been lonely and depressed all my life, because I couldn't find a guy who loved me.  But now, I found a guy who worships me, and drinks my bathwater, and bows to me, and kisses my feet.  He asked me to marry him, and I said yes.  

We can't move in together yet, because I have 2 classes left in college.  My mother won't let him come visit me while I'm finishing my last classes, because she doesn't believe in premarital people sharing a bedroom together.

I want to cast a spell on her to make her change her mind.  I'm tired of her always making me miserable, and never letting me be happy.  She says family comes before everything, but I told her that she is ruining my life, and she won't let me be happy.  She jsut said that she has more experience than me, and I don't know anything about life.  She has never even been to college, and she got married when she was 16, and made a ton of mistakes.  She's just retarded, and she doesn't want me to have any happiness, she treats me like a 12 year old nun.  

My boyfriend said that he would wait for me.  But I'm soo sick and tired of waiting!!  What if I die tomorrow, and I will never know what it's like to be happy.. all I do is work work work, and never get any reward or time to be happy.  I HATE my family!!  

I'm sooo tempted to cast a spell on my mother.  

If you were me, what would you do?

[J&A_Hernandez_2007]

Do you just have a semester left? I strongly dissagree with casting a spell to make her change her mind (I really don't know if one exists since it has to do with peoples emotions and will, but I may be wrong).
I too had somewhat of the same problem as you. I am in a bi-racial marriage, though my husband is hispanic and I am white. My suggestion would be to just wait it out. I know it sounds cliche, but if it is truly meant to be, then it will happen. Patience is a virtue.
My father is a racist bigot, as is most of his family. My father was very domineering when I was growing up. I just bided my time and it turned out to be a good choice. Since my father and his family have gotten to know my husband, things are better between all of us.
Since you only have two classes left I suggest you just bide your time and if it is meant to be it will be. Like Doris Day sang "Whatever will be will be."

[kybunker]

I suggest that you grant your family peace and happiness, Wish the best for them, Grant them freedom from their bindings,
Meanwhile do the same for yourself,
It's okay to move away from situations that we feel are harmful to us, cut the bond.
I wouldn't wish any harm to anyone, By messing with someone else mental could really screw up other paths they are taking,
Remember the law, If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else.

By granting everyone this peace it may help the changing of their minds,
If you are happy everyone is happy.

[tourbi]

No, don't cast a spell on her.
What you send out is what comes back to you.
Respect her wishes, it is her home.
Give respect, receive respect.  It may take time.

I know it is not what you want to hear.
Do spells for yourself, for building self confidence, for enjoying yourself and your life, finding happiness, doing well in school.
I was taught the first place to always start is with myself.  Where am I?  Where do I want to be, how do I get there.
I then meditate on the energy and put together a spell to help me achieve my goals.
I never include anything to manipulate others.  

I'd work on having a good relationship with my mom.  Enjoy her while you can, while you are there, respect her boundaries, they are not unreasonable.

To create what you want in life is putting forth the effort, working on self, maturing.  
To manipulate others leaves yourself wide open to get manipulated, disrespected, to have your boundaries broken.

Take this time to do some good work for yourself before you start your new life with your guy.

[Doe]

Hi--

I have to agree with the others.  I was just recently talking in another thread about how "magick", etc., should not be used as a replacement for taking responsibility for one's own happiness and learning to live.

You're young, and I'm glad you've found someone who makes you happy.  And--BELIEVE  me--my mother has many of the same "qualities" you describe in yours...casting a "spell" on her (if I even knew how to do that!) would be very tempting.  But there is no magic way to deal with problems with other people, especially those who have the most influence in our lives (for better or for worse).  I understand that feeling of needing to get out from under someone's control (and I'm twice as old as you!), but I'm learning that it takes work, and self-love, and determination to figure out what's right for YOU and make that happen, regardless of what others think.  It's not easy, but it's a good skill to learn early in life--I wish I'd learned it when I was your age, rather than now.

Any relationship (and any important life decision) takes work and courage.  In the case of a bi-racial relationship, you already know that there will ALWAYS be people out there who have a problem with that, or with what you and your partner do (or don't do) for a living, or your spiritual beliefs, or your wardrobe, or whatever.  Magic won't change intolerant people, and won't allow you to be happy in spite of others' negative attitudes.  That's something you need to learn for yourself--preferably now, because you're going to need that skill throughout your life if you're going to be happy and satisfied.

Just my thoughts...I wish you all the best.

Doe

[kybunker]

OOO DOE hit on a good point!

This is a great lesson of learning about yourself and how to deal with situations such as you are going thru!

Who wants to do this twice right!

What a great opportunity to learn compassion, tolerance and such

We go through many different lessons in our lives, some we can't even see and wonder why we keep hitting the same brick wall
This one you can see.

A few years ago I had some major issues with my grandmother, All I could see was how she treated my mom and us girls,
She once said we were satans spawn,

I took that to heart and had rage for her in my heart,
When I began going through my lessons this popped up again,, I had not seen her in over 12 years, She came down to visit my mom and we were extended an invitation to go see her, The only thing that came out of my mouth was,, Why in the heck would I want to visit that hateful woman!

At this time I was being taught about watching my words,,, I realized at that point, I was the one being hateful and unforgiving.
I took myself into my head, I visulized my grandmother at the age of 3 then at 14 then at 20 and so on, until I reached her now age of 68.

She was raised by a preacher, pregnant at 13, had my mom at 14, married to the 16 yr old that she got pregnant with,
went through her teens with a toddler, toddler passed off to her mom, then she had another baby with the same man, then another, by time she was 19 she had 3 kids and a very resentful marriage,,,,

NO Wonder she's the way she is..
In this session, I told her I am glad that she had my mom when she did, I'm sorry she had to go through everything she went through, but because she did, I have my beautiful children, I turned out the way I did because life happened the way it did.
She (in my head) said, No One has ever put it to me that way. I'm glad You are here too.

Since This session, I've noticed a change within myself and in her.

I had to go through what I went through in life so that my childrens children can be where they will be.
but first I had to find the compassion to heal myown heart.

What a great lesson this may turn out to be.

[looking_glass]

Your mother may be uneducated, got married and had children when she was young, and made many mistakes, but it is through these experiences and mistakes that she can give you insight. Her ideas and values are just as valid as your ideas and values. She is not the keeper of your happiness. You are. You always have been, whether you choose to see that or not. It is not she nor others who remove your happiness. Happiness is a choice. We can either choose to see the bad things in life, or we can choose to learn from those things around us that we may not agree with, nor completely understand.

As for casting a spell...you already know that answer.

[Garrin]

so many good responses! I myself agree with everyone and think the spell is not a way to go it will only harm you in the long term and possibly even destroy what happiness you have with this man. You are young and in school, the way it should be, I would not doubt that if your mother could she would change her past to be a little like yours, not saying she doesn't love you she just might have waited and made a few differt decisions. School is more important nowadays than ever before, it will take you where you want to go in life and it will give you something to talk to your children about. I just wish I had stayed in school like my mother wanted. Your impatience will hurt you in the long run if you are not wary. Please remember that your mother loves you and wants what is best for you...don't destroy that. Take advice from a person who thought it would be good to graduate from high-school and start making money right away...Right now I own a house (mortgage), a four year old son, going through a divorce, and my father just passed on July 15,2008, and I have been unemployed since the end of October. Take care, give yourself love, and breathe, tell yourself it is worth waiting for. Good luck.

[kybunker]

Garrin Goodness When It Rains it pours!
In a boat myself, Thank god for the boat!

[JewelOfTheSouth]

An unloaded gun is still a danger in the wrong hands. Magick is never to be dabbled in and certainly not to be used in negative ways ever. Take personal responsibility. How you treat her is on you and how she treats you is on her, do you really want to pile up un-needed karma? I believe that anything you send out comes back with the same intensity you used to send it out in the first place, and it can actually come back stronger if harm was caused because you were not thinking responsibly. Would you get drunk and then drive a car? The same goes for your responsibility in the magickal arts. Cleanse yourself, meditate on yourself and then decide, however be prepared good or bane to reap the rewards or....something much worse. The universe is highly effective at keeping balance and nothing you do or I do or anyone does goes un-noticed. So again, think.

Gentle Hugs,

Julie

[whiteheart]

No spell just walk in and give a great big hug and say I love you and then leave