Post a funny pic or joke here
Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123
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- Posts: 53
- Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:58 pm
- Location: Bellmore, NY
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- Posts: 53
- Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:58 pm
- Location: Bellmore, NY
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- Posts: 53
- Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:58 pm
- Location: Bellmore, NY
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- Posts: 53
- Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:58 pm
- Location: Bellmore, NY
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided
to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up
and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my
leotards on, the class was over.
doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided
to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up
and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my
leotards on, the class was over.
- Tinkerbell_xx
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 11:35 pm
- Location: East Mindlands, U.K
- Kalopsychos
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Mon May 21, 2007 11:21 am
- Location: Greece
Good Samaritan
Sean and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.
He gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says Sean, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning! He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two lads helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
Sean does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"I am" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?", calls out Sean.
"I do" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks Sean.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk
He gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says Sean, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning! He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two lads helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
Sean does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"I am" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?", calls out Sean.
"I do" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks Sean.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk
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- Posts: 14
- Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 9:28 am
- Location: India
Whato you think of these?
Some cute pics...
- Attachments
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- kitties' push...!!!
- cat-push.jpg (23.43 KiB) Viewed 2373 times
- weezerwall
- Posts: 152
- Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2007 8:42 am
- Location: Frankfurt am Main, Germany
WARNING - A bit "raunchy" but good! :-))
This is why I never drink beer although I live in Germany! Scroll down slowly for maximum effect! lol
Enjoy!
Weezer
Enjoy!
Weezer
- Attachments
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- Priceless.JPG (156.42 KiB) Viewed 2617 times
Barry Dawson
Barry Dawson once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Barry Dawson's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Barry Dawson.
Barry Dawson can speak Braille.
When Barry Dawson exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Barry Dawson doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Barry Dawson can kill two stones with one bird.
Barry Dawson can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Barry Dawson once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having s*x with his waitress.
Barry Dawson is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Barry Dawson once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Barry Dawson once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more t*sticles?" contest. Barry Dawson won by 5.
Barry Dawson once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
When Barry Dawson has s*x with a man, it won't be because he is g@y. It will be because he has run out of women.
For some, the left t*sticle is larger than the right one. For Barry Dawson, each t*sticle is larger than the other one.
Barry Dawson ordered a Big Mac at Red Rooster, and got one.
It takes Barry Dawson 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Barry Dawson doesn't believe in New Zealand.
Barry Dawson can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Barry Dawson recently had the idea to sell his u*ine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of Australian women lost their virginity to Barry Dawson. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
Barry Dawson invented the internet... just so he had a place to store his p*rn.
One day Barry Dawson walked down the street with a massive er*ction. There were no survivors.
When Barry Dawson plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Barry Dawson qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Shane Watson is allowed to live because Barry Dawson doesn't kill women.
When Barry Dawson goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Barry Dawsoned.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Barry Dawson.
Barry Dawson counted to infinity - twice.
When Barry Dawson does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Barry Dawson's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Barry Dawson gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Barry Dawson can slam a revolving door.
Barry Dawson's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Superman owns a pair of Barry Dawson pyjamas.
Barry Dawson owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Barry Dawson doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Once a cobra bit Barry Dawson's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Barry Dawson divides by zero.
Barry Dawson once had an er*ction while lying face down. He struck oil.
The only time Barry Dawson was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Barry Dawson's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Barry Dawson.
Barry Dawson can speak Braille.
When Barry Dawson exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Barry Dawson doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Barry Dawson can kill two stones with one bird.
Barry Dawson can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Barry Dawson once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having s*x with his waitress.
Barry Dawson is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Barry Dawson once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Barry Dawson once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more t*sticles?" contest. Barry Dawson won by 5.
Barry Dawson once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
When Barry Dawson has s*x with a man, it won't be because he is g@y. It will be because he has run out of women.
For some, the left t*sticle is larger than the right one. For Barry Dawson, each t*sticle is larger than the other one.
Barry Dawson ordered a Big Mac at Red Rooster, and got one.
It takes Barry Dawson 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Barry Dawson doesn't believe in New Zealand.
Barry Dawson can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Barry Dawson recently had the idea to sell his u*ine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of Australian women lost their virginity to Barry Dawson. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
Barry Dawson invented the internet... just so he had a place to store his p*rn.
One day Barry Dawson walked down the street with a massive er*ction. There were no survivors.
When Barry Dawson plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Barry Dawson qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
Shane Watson is allowed to live because Barry Dawson doesn't kill women.
When Barry Dawson goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Barry Dawsoned.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Barry Dawson.
Barry Dawson counted to infinity - twice.
When Barry Dawson does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Barry Dawson's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Barry Dawson gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Barry Dawson can slam a revolving door.
Barry Dawson's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Superman owns a pair of Barry Dawson pyjamas.
Barry Dawson owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Barry Dawson doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Once a cobra bit Barry Dawson's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Barry Dawson divides by zero.
Barry Dawson once had an er*ction while lying face down. He struck oil.
The only time Barry Dawson was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
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- Barry Dawson - The Cougar.jpg (22.66 KiB) Viewed 2605 times
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