New -ish nursery rhymes - some oldsome new

[Prof. Akers]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.
 
 
 
It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh shit, it's Global Warming.
 
 
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
 
 
 
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
"What have u got there?"
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.
 
 
 
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.
 
 
 
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.
 
 
 
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.
 
 
 
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

[Nicole]

You know..LoL
My husband and I had to buy a book to know the real sayings for our child..
I know it~!!
I was told by friends ones like the ones your posting..
I had to know the clean ones before our son was born...
Oh my~!! LoL


I have to show my husband the new ones also, rofl...  :)

[suzisco]

lmao very funny.

Suzi

[RajeevSharma]

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water;
God knows what they did there,
They came back with a daughter.