• Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
• Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
• Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.
• Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
• Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
• Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
• Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's lap.
• Thou shalt not climb on garbage cans with hinged lids, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
• Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 3 a.m.
• Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
• Thou shalt not jump onto a seat just as thy human is sitting down.
• Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
• Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
• Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
• Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
• Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.
