Jokes for the day.

[prasanna]

Jokes

Pompous Colonel

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."

"Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"

"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, ... "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."


Lawyer Humor

You Know You Need A New Lawyer When:

- The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other.

- During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

- He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

- He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

- During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

- Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.

- He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.

- Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

- Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

- He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

- He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.

- He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."




For College Students

Start Worrying When...

You consider McDonalds 'real food'.

4.00AM is still early on weekends.

You'd rather clean than study.

Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

Re-arranging your room is your favorite pastime.

You schedule classes around sleep and TV soaps.

There is less then $4.50 in your bank account at any given time.

The Visa cards are full and the overdraft is up to its limit.

Computer solitaire is more than a game, its a way of life.

You get excited when you find change that someone carelessly left in the drinks machine.




Photography

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!"

The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures."

After a long pause, the "pilot" replied: "You mean, you're not my instructor?"