Jokes for the day.

[prasanna]

Jokes

Doctor's Visit

Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"

The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"

"I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this been going on?" the doctor asked.

"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."

The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please! I really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"

"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.

"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down on my ankle," the man urged him.

The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really desperate!"

"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "However... I can make a well-educated guess.

Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places."



Linguistics

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive.

In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."

"However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah. Right."


Lamaze Class

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad."

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.

"Exactly," replied the instructor.

To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."


CD Player

I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely perplexed by one model's promotional sign. So I called the salesclerk over and asked, "What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"

He said, "That means that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal."

"In other words," I said, "this CD player plays CDs."

"Exactly."

[Contributed to Reader's Digest.]

[ChiefOren]

nice