Thanks Biltu for giving full view of my palm n ur avatar is really cool
Pravinji, I will follow your meditation procedure, thanks. (Do I need to do that with my right eye closed only or alternate it, 5 min for each eye closed?)
Bacidnutella, Yes I am very very nervous guy. So much that every time I give my introduction in a group meeting. My hands and lips tremble. I later found out that I get excited about a situation too soon and too much. It never goes away...
RishiRahul, My troubles began at the age of 19 when I was forced to go to a foreign nation by my parents for my study, it was when i first faced myself being very nervous with people. I was very good at my studies (was a topper) and my career goal and path leading it were all well defined. All started going down, when I first fell in love (first time) with a girl 7 years older than me. It was one sided. Still my career/study was on track. After 2 years I fell in love with a girl 7 years younger than me. It was also one sided. Again after 2 years I fell in love with another girl. Again it was one sided.
In the mean time, my self confidence was going down and I was getting a very nervous person. I started smoking cigarettes as I was very alone. I was facing troubles in my study/university due to my nervousness. I could not even give any oral presentations and so I was kicked out of my university for failing in subjects. I had only few courses left to complete. I had only little money left. Then for 1 year, I lived like a pendulum, working at various places... just moving here and there and not going anywhere.
I cam back to my country about 3 years ago. All is smooth now. I have joined a distant education programme. But still I am a nervous guy and I am financially troubled as I ,at the age of 29, have to depend upon my parents for money b'cause I have no degree and so no money.
I guess everything is getting all right, even though at a slow pace.
All I can now say is that, Experiences that I gained last 8-9 years have made my view wide. I sometimes laugh at my past actions of falling in blind love and smoking cigarettes with tears in my eyes.
![:smt005](./images/smilies/005.gif)
. I have become spiritual (not religious) and now I want to make everything alright even though its late.
I now think that, every situation, condition and action have some reason for their existence which is as mysterious as the life itself. When the reason is fulfilled the situation, condition and actions related to them also fades away. So instead of getting too sad or happy, we should face every situations calmly and do things as required. Past experiences have made me to believe that we all are one and our individuality is only like a temporary wave arising on a vast ocean of consciousness. So, we sud treat everyone equally. Life is full of surprises with bad and good times, and none of them stays with us forever...leaving us with hope and fear which make our life interesting and busy experiencing it.
Destroying something is a fast process while creating something is a slow but a beautiful process. I will need a lot of patience for it. Thanks all for your concern.
![:-)](./images/smilies/001.gif)