hello dear friends
my name is meri.35 years single female.my friend that we was planning for marrige suddenly cut off.i dont know why and he is dont like to explain me
so i have very bad feeling and full of stress.
what should i do?forget him or be patiant?
please someone provide me good guidance.i had one of family memebr death recently so i feel very weak.
GOD BLESS ALL ALL OF YOU
request urgent help
Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123
Meri,
As I read your post I felt your anguish. I received the image of the 9 of Swords Tarot card although I do not use Tarot cards to do these readings.
The image depicts a young woman sitting up in her bed in the middle of the night. Her hands cover both her eyes and she is crying. In her dark room she feels very much alone. Behind her on the wall are 9 Swords and the suit of Swords normally depicts the activity of the conscious mind or intellect. Most often the Swords point us to the type of anguish or conflict that this young woman is experiencing alone in her bed.
When I first saw the image of the 9 of Swords my eyes where drawn immediately to the womans hands covering both her eyes. I noticed that she is not looking around her but rather she is looking within, She is focusing on the swirl of thoughts and feelings that are racing through her mind.
The longer she covers her eyes the longer she endures this mental anguish. The longer she covers her eyes and permits her thoughts and feelings to run wild the longer she will suffer.
If she will simply remove her hands and open her eyes she will see that she is safe within her room. None of the things that she is fearing are happening to her right NOW. Right NOW she is in a warm bed covered by a beautiful comforter. Right NOW nothing is happening in her external world at all.
There is nothing there to fear. There is nothing to upset her. There is nothing to cause her pain. If she will open her eyes and look around her for just one instant, her suffering will cease.
You see the power to heal or the power to suffer lies completely in her hands. Only she can place them over her eyes or take them away. Meri, this is the choice that is before you. It is not a choice you can make just once. It is a choice that you must begin to make every hour of every day.
For as long as you continue to play the story of your loss and rejection in your mind and focus on it, for this long you will suffer. There is no suffering without this repeating story. There is the pain of loss most certainly. There is pain but there is no suffering. The power to suffer and the power to heal lie equally within your hands.
As I read your post I felt your anguish. I received the image of the 9 of Swords Tarot card although I do not use Tarot cards to do these readings.
The image depicts a young woman sitting up in her bed in the middle of the night. Her hands cover both her eyes and she is crying. In her dark room she feels very much alone. Behind her on the wall are 9 Swords and the suit of Swords normally depicts the activity of the conscious mind or intellect. Most often the Swords point us to the type of anguish or conflict that this young woman is experiencing alone in her bed.
When I first saw the image of the 9 of Swords my eyes where drawn immediately to the womans hands covering both her eyes. I noticed that she is not looking around her but rather she is looking within, She is focusing on the swirl of thoughts and feelings that are racing through her mind.
The longer she covers her eyes the longer she endures this mental anguish. The longer she covers her eyes and permits her thoughts and feelings to run wild the longer she will suffer.
If she will simply remove her hands and open her eyes she will see that she is safe within her room. None of the things that she is fearing are happening to her right NOW. Right NOW she is in a warm bed covered by a beautiful comforter. Right NOW nothing is happening in her external world at all.
There is nothing there to fear. There is nothing to upset her. There is nothing to cause her pain. If she will open her eyes and look around her for just one instant, her suffering will cease.
You see the power to heal or the power to suffer lies completely in her hands. Only she can place them over her eyes or take them away. Meri, this is the choice that is before you. It is not a choice you can make just once. It is a choice that you must begin to make every hour of every day.
For as long as you continue to play the story of your loss and rejection in your mind and focus on it, for this long you will suffer. There is no suffering without this repeating story. There is the pain of loss most certainly. There is pain but there is no suffering. The power to suffer and the power to heal lie equally within your hands.
hello
Dear Grayson
thank you so much for your response to my letter.as u mentioned i feel anguish and the resaon is me recent loss and rejection(may be)am not sure about rejection by my loved one.anyway at present i feel worry about being alone for all life and couldnt find true love in my life.thank u so much for u kind help
love and light
meri
thank you so much for your response to my letter.as u mentioned i feel anguish and the resaon is me recent loss and rejection(may be)am not sure about rejection by my loved one.anyway at present i feel worry about being alone for all life and couldnt find true love in my life.thank u so much for u kind help
love and light
meri
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eye_of_tiger
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Dear Meri, 
Unfortunately you are at the same time mourning not only the apparent end of your plans to be married, but you are also grieving for the loss of a much loved family member. No wonder then that you are feeling so dispirited and confused. Please accept my sincere condolences on the relatively recent loss of a member of your family who meant much more to you personally than anyone can possibly imagine.
I do not feel that if you try to force him to discuss his true feelings with you before he is prepared to do so that you will make the situation any better. On the other hand I do not feel that you should leave this indefinitely, as I sense that you have put so much time and energy into preparing for the big day (although I am uncertain whether any formal arrangements have been made or money has changed hands yet in the form of a deposit), that it would be a pity not to at least find out if you personally did something wrong (or failed to do something he believes you should).
I cannot tell you precisely what he is thinking or feeling, as third party readings are not permitted on this site and many readers would regard this as an invasion of his privacy. However my impressions on the basis of this reading are NOT that he has suddenly realised he no longer has any feelings for you. In contrast to this, it is my belief that he loves you too much rather than any less, and that he feels that he has no right to put his own problems upon you.
Although I cannot look too deeply into his past relationships in order to determine why he is carrying so much emotional baggage with him into your relationship (much of which was there long before you met him), I sense that he believes above all in his heart of hearts that he should not burden you with problems which he sees as his alone. I feel that he has long standing issues with being able to be emotionally honest with himself, let alone with a prospective marriage partner. In a purely emotional sense he has erected a defensive wall around his heart which basically says "these are my problems, and I am not about to allow anybody including yourself to come too close to me when it comes to me making my own decisions about what is or isn't in my own best interests.
It has been said many times that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but as to how I would advise you so that you would then have the greatest chances of breaking through his inner defences, I would be very hesitant without knowing much more about the man you so obviously love. Yet at this stage I am highly uncertain that even if you did provide this detailed information that it would be of any immediate benefit to you in resurrecting your marriage arrangements.
My only suggestion would be therefore to be patient and simply be there for him when he is ready to discuss his feelings with you (I think that realistically you would now be looking at least to the second half of next year for tying the knot), whenever that might be (always easier said than done), and you both may ultimately need to talk with a relationship counsellor in order to get some of these things sorted out before you think about marrying. Other issues can only be gradually worked on later, when you are finally husband and wife. If we all waited until every personal issue was resolved to everyone's satisfaction, nobody would ever get married again (or even seek a long term relationship).
There is no suggestion whatsoever in your reading that you should forget him completely, as if you did not love each other so, there would surely not have ever been a basis for requesting this reading in the first place. There is I sense absolutely no way that either of you are going to be able to forget each other and move on to somebody else as if this has not changed you as a person (even if you wanted to, which I don't believe you would ever do). Up to a point which only you can decide for yourself, be patient but at the same time do not lower your expectations about what behaviour you find acceptable from him, and definitely do not become too disheartened by his apparent confusion as to just what he wants.
If he does begin to seriously abuse you (physically or otherwise) or try to destroy your own feelings of self confidence by telling you that HE deserves someone better than you (he is transferring his problems to you so that he can disown them, and therefore no longer need to learn to deal with them in an adult manner), GET OUT AS SOON AS IT IS SAFE TO DO SO. This would be what is commonly called a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. You deserve much better than this! IMHO
Hoping this is of some comfort and help to you both in the long run,
eye_of_tiger 
Unfortunately you are at the same time mourning not only the apparent end of your plans to be married, but you are also grieving for the loss of a much loved family member. No wonder then that you are feeling so dispirited and confused. Please accept my sincere condolences on the relatively recent loss of a member of your family who meant much more to you personally than anyone can possibly imagine.
I do not feel that if you try to force him to discuss his true feelings with you before he is prepared to do so that you will make the situation any better. On the other hand I do not feel that you should leave this indefinitely, as I sense that you have put so much time and energy into preparing for the big day (although I am uncertain whether any formal arrangements have been made or money has changed hands yet in the form of a deposit), that it would be a pity not to at least find out if you personally did something wrong (or failed to do something he believes you should).
I cannot tell you precisely what he is thinking or feeling, as third party readings are not permitted on this site and many readers would regard this as an invasion of his privacy. However my impressions on the basis of this reading are NOT that he has suddenly realised he no longer has any feelings for you. In contrast to this, it is my belief that he loves you too much rather than any less, and that he feels that he has no right to put his own problems upon you.
Although I cannot look too deeply into his past relationships in order to determine why he is carrying so much emotional baggage with him into your relationship (much of which was there long before you met him), I sense that he believes above all in his heart of hearts that he should not burden you with problems which he sees as his alone. I feel that he has long standing issues with being able to be emotionally honest with himself, let alone with a prospective marriage partner. In a purely emotional sense he has erected a defensive wall around his heart which basically says "these are my problems, and I am not about to allow anybody including yourself to come too close to me when it comes to me making my own decisions about what is or isn't in my own best interests.
It has been said many times that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but as to how I would advise you so that you would then have the greatest chances of breaking through his inner defences, I would be very hesitant without knowing much more about the man you so obviously love. Yet at this stage I am highly uncertain that even if you did provide this detailed information that it would be of any immediate benefit to you in resurrecting your marriage arrangements.
My only suggestion would be therefore to be patient and simply be there for him when he is ready to discuss his feelings with you (I think that realistically you would now be looking at least to the second half of next year for tying the knot), whenever that might be (always easier said than done), and you both may ultimately need to talk with a relationship counsellor in order to get some of these things sorted out before you think about marrying. Other issues can only be gradually worked on later, when you are finally husband and wife. If we all waited until every personal issue was resolved to everyone's satisfaction, nobody would ever get married again (or even seek a long term relationship).
There is no suggestion whatsoever in your reading that you should forget him completely, as if you did not love each other so, there would surely not have ever been a basis for requesting this reading in the first place. There is I sense absolutely no way that either of you are going to be able to forget each other and move on to somebody else as if this has not changed you as a person (even if you wanted to, which I don't believe you would ever do). Up to a point which only you can decide for yourself, be patient but at the same time do not lower your expectations about what behaviour you find acceptable from him, and definitely do not become too disheartened by his apparent confusion as to just what he wants.
If he does begin to seriously abuse you (physically or otherwise) or try to destroy your own feelings of self confidence by telling you that HE deserves someone better than you (he is transferring his problems to you so that he can disown them, and therefore no longer need to learn to deal with them in an adult manner), GET OUT AS SOON AS IT IS SAFE TO DO SO. This would be what is commonly called a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. You deserve much better than this! IMHO
Hoping this is of some comfort and help to you both in the long run,
eye_of_tiger
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