can someone help me too.......

[WONDER]

i am having problems getting over a good friend i met last year.  Terms on our meeting was kind of eerie in a sense, but not to me.  maybe to those who dont understand, but i developed a closeness to him that i never had with any other person.  now we dont talk.  i dont know if dob matters but mine is 11 20 1964 his is 03 04 1953 (he is married too)  will i talk to him again.  did i mean anything to him.  i am going crazy.  i now see him coming online now periodically and it is getting hard again.  seeing him hurts, because i cannot correspond.

i am also married, and we have our problems. very personal at matters and i dont know how long we have together  my hubby birthday is 10 26 1955.  is my children going to be ok.. their birthdays are 02-09-1999 and  08-07-1993  the older one is adopted and having major problems.  did anyone mess with her.

[eye_of_tiger]

In any close human relationship including marriage, what appears on the surface may be completely different from what is actually occurring behind closed doors. I believe that about a year ago you were both already experiencing problems within your respective marriages (although they were very different in nature), and you each therefore found a particularly good and understanding listener in the other at the time. You believed for a while that you had both discovered your ONLY soul mate, and this belief was then used to rationalise the problems you were experiencing within your existing relationships. If he is indeed as you believe your only soul mate, then you cannot ever expect to live happily with anyone other than him (including of course your husband). This is what I believe was your reasoning, but it is unfortunately based on what I feel are two incorrect assumptions.

1. That each of us has ONLY ONE SOUL MATE living at the same time as we are. If we neither meet that person during our current lifetime, or we meet them only to lose them, then we will have to wait miserably with no love and happiness in our lives until at least our next Earthly incarnation. I believe that we each have many potential soul mates, and that we could therefore be equally happy and feel just as loved by any of them.

2. Soul mates will never experience any conflicts or differences of opinion with one another, and they will therefore live happily ever after. The reality is that soul mates often come together one life time after another, precisely because they have not adequately resolved conflicts and differences in looking at things from previous life times, and this life time provides more opportunities for them to find peace. A soul mate generally has very similar or entirely the opposite issues to work through compared to our own, and being one of someone else's several soul mates certainly does not necessarily guarantee never ending bliss. In some extreme cases it might potentially mean the exact opposite, but as long true love still exists I believe, anything is possible.

I know how much this must hurt you to see him coming online and not be able to communicate with him concerning your own feelings, but I feel that you are equating your mutual therapy session during troubled times 12 months ago with a firm, ongoing friendship automatically leading to something much deeper. Good and loyal friends do not avoid talking to each other for such an extended time as you have with each other, unless of course you are so focussed on your own marriage problems that you simply do not each have the emotional energy left over in reserve to devote to your friendship as well.

I am unable to read his mind or to give you a reading concerning your adopted child (now a teenager) which could be used as admissible evidence in court in order to establish whether someone has messed with her. Either you will need to let go of what I feel was never meant to be, or it will only significantly add to your many complex existing problems. I do not feel that if your own marriage was over, that he would be willing to necessarily give up on his own to be with you as anything than perhaps a casual online chat contact. I do not sense any equal desire by him as your own to change the current arrangements. I do not sense that your affection for him is being returned. I believe that it is OVER BETWEEN YOU AS FRIENDS, OR AS ANYTHING OTHER BEYOND SIMPLY REMAINING GOOD FRIENDS.

I wish you good health and increased happiness ahead, as you sound as though you have quite enough problems to cope with without introducing more of the same. You deserve whatever assistance and support you can get, but this type of support will only I sense make matters even worse than they otherwise might have been. With due respect, haven't you got enough on your plate at present, without this?

Loving regards,

eye_of_tiger

[Reverend Dr]

Adopted children often have problems when they get older because they were adopted. Most Dr.'s will tell you that it is best to tell an adopted child at a very early age they were adopted. Never hide that fact that they were adopted or when they find out they develop all kinds of issues about who they are and why were they adopted in the first place. I hope this was not the case with your daughter. If she has known all her life (or since you adopted her if she was old enough to know) then she should not have an issue with being adopted. She would have grown up always knowing she was adopted and loved. I have a son that we adopted at birth. Now he is 7 and has always known he was adopted. No big deal to him as he knows we love him and his bio-mother was unable to take care of him.

Your daughter may be feeling the tension between you and your husband. Kids can sense things that parents do not even realize. Go have a mother daughter day out and maybe you can get her to open up to you. Reassure her that you and your husband are just going through a rough time but you will get it worked out. If you can determine her reactions when you discuss your husband maybe something did happen between them and she is afraid to talk about it.

Ask your self when did you and your husband start having problems and when did she start having problems. Are they about the same time? Maybe her problems stem from you and your husband's.

Try family counseling.

[Psychic Chef]

Its time to make some hard choices in your life. Your life has got to the my marriage sucks stage. Some of it is the hours that the hubby is putting in at work  other things are the poor financial state you are both in. the long periods of silence are unproductive and the arguing you do in bed is heard by the kids. They pick it up real easy, you fore get how you used to hear your parents fight and how you would seek refuge in your room only to hear it follow you. The guy you met came at the time you were most vunerable. I not saying it was a bad thing but it hasnt helped because you have used him as a crutch when you could have gave the same words to your man instead. Yes he has helped you but it hasnt translated into action to help your marriage. The Adopted duaghter is hurting in ways you cant comprehend because the only real family she has known is falling apart in front of her. In her eyes its history repeating all over again.Its time you included every one in the problem or watch everthing flush away by years end.
Sorry i Hope im wrong.
Pete

[WONDER]

hey...... i do appreciate what you are saying but i was looking for psychic responses.  not opinions.  im not ungrateful, but i am a scorpio woman living with a scorpio man.  i know about how my children may feel, but that is not an issue in my daughters life.   she is having problems and i am feeling what she is going through.  my problems has always been, but i am falling out of love with my husband due to his inconsistences.  early on he told me that he did not love me... then he tells me he does.  his actions shows me otherwise.  he is still here, but i think it is because he was divorced 2 times.  i dont know for sure.  i am always helping everyone else, and my friend was a much needed help for me.  i helped him too i think.  we both needed each other, and i wasnt ready to let him go.  i wanted him there forever, and still do.  he, on the other hand, had other plans.  i once talked to someone who knew astrology and they told me that he indeed liked me, but not in the same aspect as i did. that we were together in another life.  we were good friends.  i want to know if i will hear from him again.  and in what aspect.  she also saw that he impacted me.  she said like lightning.  and that was true.  he made me feel things no one else ever did.  i am a faithful woman, true to her man.  he made me realize that i dont love my husband.  he made me realize that i really dont need to be here with the abusive emotional tensions i feel .  i am here because my son loves his dad.   my daughter has spent the summer away and without the tensions, she managed to make a mess where she was also.  my daughters problems run deep.  since she is adopted. and sometimes of the problems here, i was wondering perhaps if something may have happened.    i do appreciate all that you all wrote, but i wanted to have things that was inspired by "knowing" in the  spiritual sense.  a decernment in a sort, but not in opinions.  i have my own opinions.  and she is not the first set of children i have raised.   my husband is older  and has had kids oreviously.  i have my own opinions.  and i live here.   i wanted facts.  thanks anyway again.  

i ama scorpio and also a yankee by way of NY  so dont be upset by me saying exactly how i feel..   it what i do.........lol  no hard feelings...... k  

have a great day and dont hesitate to respond.

[WONDER]

pete, i know where my marriage lies......... and i do know it is doomed.....its staying in this sinking ship, that is what hard.

i was also told by the lady who is into astrology, that his marriage is doomed to...... my friends.  but we are not meant for each other.

i do know this, but i do want be his friend.  i think we need each others companionship as such.  i am so hoping that he may rethink me but i dont know.  

i do miss him, is all.  read the astrology charts and see scorpio = pisces connection and please try to understand.  

eye of the tiger.....i loved your butterfly and i did appreciate your info

dr... yor spoke as a true doc.   lol

im sleepy now.  gn all

[Tyrinaniel]

The psychics that have posted have used their skills to read you thoroughly.  What you mistake as opinions are actually their intuition and skills guiding them into what they feel is happening.  However, I sensed some slight hostility in your post towards what they read.  I understand the connection between compatible sun signs, though since he's male, it would be very easy for you to become attracted to him.  They were just making sure you wouldn't fall into a trap.  Do not take this as them throwing opinions at you, for they would never do anything to degrade you.

Since both you and your husband are the same sign, it is rather obvious that the two of you would clash as romantic lovers, and in a marriage.  In my experience, I have yet to see a romantic relationship survive.  If you feel you are emotionally abused, I suggest you get out.  If you have had others tell you the relationship was doomed, it would be best to seperate.  I do commend you for the willingness to stay in the relationship because of your son, though in all honestly, if your children continue to see you two fight, it's not healthy for any of them.  It will end up hurting them in the future when they decide to date, and possibly corrupt their view of relationships.

If you want me to be honest, I've seen many (I'm not generalizing) Scorpio that tend to cling to others.  When they're in a tough position, I've seen them find someone they can open up to, but end up smothering that person with affection.  If he is married as well, maybe something was happening in his marriage that made his wife feel that he was spending a bit too much time with you, and she felt threatened.  Who knows?  I've known women who were just that jealous.  Though, since no one has sense that he still wants to pursue the friendship, the best way to go is to just forget about him.

In my own experience, I've had friends just suddenly go dark, cut off all contact with me, never to be heard from again.  Yes, it hurts.  He hurt me, and I understand the pain.  It's very hard to get over, and at times I still ask myself what I did wrong.  I advise you to just forget about him.  If he wants to continue, he'll contact you.  The best thing to do is *not* sweat it over him.  You may not like this advice, but it will certainly help you thrive in life.  If you don't like what you're hearing, I'm terribly sorry.  The truth can hurt like bricks.  You just need to brace yourself.

Eye of Tiger, Reverend Dr, and Psychic Chef have been very intuitive, helpful, and very successful with others in this section of MB.  Do not doubt their skills, for their answers were very spiritual, practical, and full of wisdom.  You asked, and all they did was answer to the best of their ability.

[WONDER]

try....i wasnt being hostile.... trust me.   i just wanted a honest psychic opinion.  i know my daughter, and i know the situation i am in.   it did not connect so thus i felt it was based on opinion.  i dont doubt any ones abilities in what their psychic abilities are.  i am relying on them to be honest.   i do appreciate all the information given because it honestly takes time to respond to any email.  i did not mean to hurt feelings. and if did i do apologize.  i read eye first and i had not qualms but agreed totally with his insight.  i am sure he knows tha.      and i do appreciate your honestly about being clingy, for i know that is truth.  but i did not agree with some of the other statements.  i know what you all are saying is truth in many ways concerning him.  and honestly it is totally out of mycharacter to be stressing over someone, but i dont think it was just a typical thing.  to be honest... its getting a bit easier seeing them online.   i am attempting to try something else in my home....... hoping that it will work.  it was just me being overwhelmed.  and i wasnt being hostile.  just totally honest.  i love my family.... even my husband at times... but i am not in love with him anymore due to his doings.  too long a story to explain.  i do want the best outcome over all.  


again, i apologize if it seemed as if i stepped on toes.  not what i meant to do, so i hope there are no hard feelings.  please know it wasnt meant in hostilities at all.    

i know all of you mean well and is only looking out for my (and my family's) well being.  thank you for that and thanks for your understanding in it all.

[Tyrinaniel]

Well, I can see where you do still love him, though it's more of just a friend now than romantically in love.  Though, if he's going to be childish, you can't exactly change a person's character when they're not willing to listen.  Since they're not reading your daughter, they can't give a full reading on her.  She'd have to come here on her own, of course.  So, by merely sensing, you can only get so much.  Just don't stress yourself out if everything you have done hasn't worked.  You can only do so much.  My senses keep telling me "Just get out."  Not "give up," but to let go and move somewhere else.  From what I can feel, it's not your fault, and he's being stubborn.  But I can't say for certain because I'm not a Reader yet, I'm still learning.  Right now just take some time to catch your breath, even step away from the whole situation, and collect yourself before going back to this overwhelming problem.  If you haven't had a vacation yet, think about taking one.  You need some time away before making decisions.  And if you do take one, don't think about it too much.  You need to relax.

[Psychic Chef]

Hi Wonder
Its all cool from my end.
I only pass on information. It not for me to judge because i suck at it. the people who can sense me on this board know how imperfect i really am.
What is more important is YOU..This is you reading and the most important thing in our lives right now and right here is helping you because you have asked. most of us dont take offence to how people precieve what we pass on.

Cheers Pete

[Reverend Dr]

No problem here.
Just a thought, read "Men who hate women and the women who love them" and "Women who love to much". Both very good reads for relationship issues.

[jotejete]

Hi Wonder,
I am a clairvoyant ( see images, scenes etc )  My style is to just tell you what I see or intuit , so you might be interested in reading this.  
My first image is your current husband will be out of the picture very soon. Next image is you being consoled by your special friend when he finds out your husband is out of the picture
Next I see you being in a fulfilling relationship holding hands in a wedding type ceremony in the near future. I am not really sure if this is with your special friend. My intuition is leaning towards it being a different man.  
At this time your concerns/worries have pretty much worked themselves out.
By the way I am happily  married to a Scorpio and have great Scorpio friends, so couldn't pass on trying to help out !

Best Wishes

[WONDER]

To all who commented before.... Now I have come to understand why some of the events occured that I was so perplexed about.  I am still on the verge of divorce.  I am encouraging it, although my husband is fighting it.  I understand like you said Eye of the tiger, that my marriage is at an end.  I can remain in it, unfulfilled, but to no avail.  You were  correct about my friend not coming back.  I can let him go, because I was told that he isnt and was there for me to become awakened.  I appreciate all the comments given.  

The concern of my daughter remains not a concern.  She is staying with relatives and is doing great.  I talk to her periodically for a report, but I try to allow them to continue to help her as  she needs.  Its hard. I am now worried about my life to come. Single.  It is hard to let my husband go, because I dont want him hurt, but I cannot remain in my own personal pain.  I am worried for my son, but children are adaptable in some cases.  I know it needs to be done. Also I am planning to relocate.. will this be good for me?


It happened again, where I met someone who said that he would help me.  He said I wasnt ready to be in this world single, because I am so naive.  I know he was correct.  Yesterday, he told me to leave him alone because he mistaken one of my statements.  I feel kinda bad, because I thought he was my friend.  His ego was bruised by what I said, I believe.  I cant tell, but I am asking, is he going to remain gone, like the other.  lol  I laugh, but I cry inside because I dont know my fate.  Is this my future with dating or will I find someone to love me.


LOL  I guess you were right about scorpios who attatch to people.   Shucks, can you blame me.  He is a Cancer... another good match for us Scorpio... lol.

[snufile]

They why haven't you left your husband if you are no longer in love. what is stopping you?

[Tyrinaniel]

One thing I feel like I should tell you is to not worry so much about your future.  While we can give you possibilities, your future is not set in stone.  You have free will, and are able to change what some may say.  You do need some patience.  I understand that scorpios are typical for needing someone to help them feel complete, though you can change yourself, and become independent enough.  It can be hard maintaining a balance...  I just feel that right now, if you worry too much about what *will* happen, you will get so caught up in the idea of something bad happening, that you will endanger yourself.  Right now, take things one step at a time.  Worry about family first.  Take time to worry about what you need on your own, and allow yourself to grow as a person.  Times when you are single are opportunities to grow, or as how I view it.  Use that time to prepare you for the next man you will meet.  I know you'll meet someone wonderful for you, though there may be some lessons you need to learn first.  But, that's one of the major things in life!