My name is Carrie. I am female and I was born July 28th, 1988.
Right now, I'm wondering about my social life. I am physically sick, but I can get better and I'm at peace with it. I feel happy for the most part, which is something I haven't felt in a very long time. The happiness has come out of nowhere, but it is very welcome and I'm happy to be happy again. The only thing that's missing is connections with people in a friendly or romantic nature. I long for people to share my happiness with.
So, my question is: Can anyone see anything about my relationships (be they of friendly or romantic in nature)?
Question About Lurking Relationships
Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123
-
PrettySiren
- Posts: 103
- Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2008 8:24 am
- Contact:
-
eye_of_tiger
- Site Admin
- Posts: 8489
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:47 am
- Location: Adelaide, South Australia
- Contact:
Welcome Carrie, 
Suffering from a long term physical illness myself, I feel a great degree of empathy with you, and sincerely ask the powers to be to give you both healing and added strength to help you to get through the worst of this.
True happiness and lasting contentment has been said many times to come from within us, relatively independently of what is or is not happening to you at the time, so your simple observation that your feelings of happiness appeared to come from nowhere are not in the least surprising to yours truly. The fact that you are feeling this when you are both ill and lonely is a very positive omen for your long term future happiness and your chances of finding the deep and lasting type of love which you so richly deserve to.
Without you already being in a relationship of a romantic nature at the time of your request, a relationship reading or baseless prediction concerning if, when or with whom you will eventually find true love is unfortunately out of the question.
But this does not mean that there is nothing you can do personally in the meantime to make this happen for you, sooner rather than much later. If the future can be predicted it strongly suggests to me that there is only one possible future to predict, and that therefore anything which you do or do not to in order to improve your situation is basically a total waste of time and effort on your part.
I don't know about you, but I prefer to take the position (and act upon it) that there are a wide variety of possible alternate futures waiting for for each of us, with one being finally selected over all the others by way of conscious decisions we make in the present moment - our only true point of power.
Consequently your reading is not attempting in any shape or form to make any such predictions, and by so doing either discourage you from continuing to remain positive or alternately to create false hope. It is one above all of self empowerment - meaning that to a large degree you are basically the co-creator or master of your own destiny, in this case specifically with regards to matters of the heart.
The need to be accepted and to share the love we feel in our hearts and to be loved in return for being the person whom we already are is probably our must urgent spiritual one, and if we are not able to get this need satisfied then we frequently learn to settle for second best. This does not mean that you should wait indefinitely for the perfect man for you to come along before taking any action, as there are no "perfect" men or women here. But on the other hand you must not feel forced to sacrifice your own moral values or to put up with behaviour and treatment from your partner which does not meet your own minimum standards.
There is the usual general advice about getting it clearer in your own mind as to what sort of man you are looking for by you making both a list of the positive qualities you would like him to possess as well as a second in which you itemise some of the things you are simply unwilling to accept in your man. And then visiting the sorts of places where you would most expect to meet the type of man best described by your two lists. But beyond regularly getting out of your home and mixing socially with eligible men of a similar age to your own which will become much easier for you once your health is more back under your control, your attitudes and belief (or lack of belief) in yourself as being worthy of being loved can either attract the very person you are looking for in your life to share your most cherished hopes and dreams with, or unconsciously drive them in the opposite direction.
No longer are you the helpless victim of random luck or solely dependent on the Wheel of Fortune turning suddenly in your favour in order to offer you life's greatest reward. By finding a comfortable balance for you between remaining hopeful but at the same time keeping your own ideas about what you can reasonably expect from your relationship at a practical level, then I sense from your reading that your chances of finding him within the next six months (which is the generally accepted period of time thought to be covered by a reading of this type) while never 100% (there are no absolute guarantees being given) are without doubt significantly greater than they would have otherwise been if you had not been as willing to act upon the advice given to you above with the genuine intention to help you.
By holding on to such a positive but realistic way of thinking, while you cannot be sure that what you are hoping for will happen, I do believe that at the very least that you can essentially tip the scales of love and happiness heavily in your favour through the act of consciously deciding that any suggestion that you are somehow destined or doomed to spend the rest of your life alone because you may believe that you have either failed yourself or someone close to you in the past is stuff and nonsense.
Yes I do believe that it is not part of the life path of every individual person to have a partner for one of many possible reasons only known to God himself and usually not their own fault, but your reading is telling me that you are definitely not amongst these, and therefore for the sake of your own health and continued inner peace you will need to slowly but surely push this mistaken belief completely out of your subconscious mind where it counts (always easier said than done) from now on.
Hoping that you will find the above insights and friendly advice to to be both relevant and helpful to your current circumstances, and I wish you all the love in the world.
May your God go with you always,
eye_of_tiger
Suffering from a long term physical illness myself, I feel a great degree of empathy with you, and sincerely ask the powers to be to give you both healing and added strength to help you to get through the worst of this.
True happiness and lasting contentment has been said many times to come from within us, relatively independently of what is or is not happening to you at the time, so your simple observation that your feelings of happiness appeared to come from nowhere are not in the least surprising to yours truly. The fact that you are feeling this when you are both ill and lonely is a very positive omen for your long term future happiness and your chances of finding the deep and lasting type of love which you so richly deserve to.
Without you already being in a relationship of a romantic nature at the time of your request, a relationship reading or baseless prediction concerning if, when or with whom you will eventually find true love is unfortunately out of the question.
But this does not mean that there is nothing you can do personally in the meantime to make this happen for you, sooner rather than much later. If the future can be predicted it strongly suggests to me that there is only one possible future to predict, and that therefore anything which you do or do not to in order to improve your situation is basically a total waste of time and effort on your part.
I don't know about you, but I prefer to take the position (and act upon it) that there are a wide variety of possible alternate futures waiting for for each of us, with one being finally selected over all the others by way of conscious decisions we make in the present moment - our only true point of power.
Consequently your reading is not attempting in any shape or form to make any such predictions, and by so doing either discourage you from continuing to remain positive or alternately to create false hope. It is one above all of self empowerment - meaning that to a large degree you are basically the co-creator or master of your own destiny, in this case specifically with regards to matters of the heart.
The need to be accepted and to share the love we feel in our hearts and to be loved in return for being the person whom we already are is probably our must urgent spiritual one, and if we are not able to get this need satisfied then we frequently learn to settle for second best. This does not mean that you should wait indefinitely for the perfect man for you to come along before taking any action, as there are no "perfect" men or women here. But on the other hand you must not feel forced to sacrifice your own moral values or to put up with behaviour and treatment from your partner which does not meet your own minimum standards.
There is the usual general advice about getting it clearer in your own mind as to what sort of man you are looking for by you making both a list of the positive qualities you would like him to possess as well as a second in which you itemise some of the things you are simply unwilling to accept in your man. And then visiting the sorts of places where you would most expect to meet the type of man best described by your two lists. But beyond regularly getting out of your home and mixing socially with eligible men of a similar age to your own which will become much easier for you once your health is more back under your control, your attitudes and belief (or lack of belief) in yourself as being worthy of being loved can either attract the very person you are looking for in your life to share your most cherished hopes and dreams with, or unconsciously drive them in the opposite direction.
No longer are you the helpless victim of random luck or solely dependent on the Wheel of Fortune turning suddenly in your favour in order to offer you life's greatest reward. By finding a comfortable balance for you between remaining hopeful but at the same time keeping your own ideas about what you can reasonably expect from your relationship at a practical level, then I sense from your reading that your chances of finding him within the next six months (which is the generally accepted period of time thought to be covered by a reading of this type) while never 100% (there are no absolute guarantees being given) are without doubt significantly greater than they would have otherwise been if you had not been as willing to act upon the advice given to you above with the genuine intention to help you.
By holding on to such a positive but realistic way of thinking, while you cannot be sure that what you are hoping for will happen, I do believe that at the very least that you can essentially tip the scales of love and happiness heavily in your favour through the act of consciously deciding that any suggestion that you are somehow destined or doomed to spend the rest of your life alone because you may believe that you have either failed yourself or someone close to you in the past is stuff and nonsense.
Yes I do believe that it is not part of the life path of every individual person to have a partner for one of many possible reasons only known to God himself and usually not their own fault, but your reading is telling me that you are definitely not amongst these, and therefore for the sake of your own health and continued inner peace you will need to slowly but surely push this mistaken belief completely out of your subconscious mind where it counts (always easier said than done) from now on.
Hoping that you will find the above insights and friendly advice to to be both relevant and helpful to your current circumstances, and I wish you all the love in the world.
May your God go with you always,
eye_of_tiger
-
PrettySiren
- Posts: 103
- Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2008 8:24 am
- Contact:
Dear eye_of_tiger,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my situation and for your kind insights! On these forums, I often see people say how welcome and cared about they feel here. You are definitely one of those people who make them feel that way.
And thank you for your prayer of healing and strength. I offer the same to you, my friend, and wish you all the comfort in the world.
Chronic sickness is difficult -- no question about it -- whether it's life-threatening or not. My first bout of it was when I was twelve: I had appendicitis for six months and nobody could figure out what was wrong with me, and when they did, they were confused about how I survived that long. I almost didn't. I developed peritonitis after the surgery. I had septic shock, kidney failure, and blood poisoning. After I recovered, I was bed-ridden for six months.
And since then, I've had to fight this nagging pessimism that I suppose is bound to creep up after such an event occurs. I've definitely had these thoughts like: "you're meant to be alone" or "you're not long-made for this life". But you know what? Deep down, I know it's rubbish and you're right -- I have to always realize that those thoughts are false. When I really examine myself and look deeply, I know that I am meant to find someone to share my life with.
Perhaps I'm treading a little off-topic here, but I do think it's related...
Since I turned nineteen, I felt as though my life was about to explode onto the stage. Up until that point, that nagging pessimism kept telling me otherwise. But when I turned nineteen, things changed. Suddenly, I wasn't alone. I had a vast array of friends and acquaintances (still know the acquaintances, but the friends are mostly gone). My family began to expand rapidly; my dad, sister, and several cousins all got married and had children that year. These things were like omens, telling me that my life was about to unravel and that I would get the same opportunities as everyone else.
I was very solitary as a teenager, you see. I only had maybe one or two friends. Not because I was weird, but mainly, after the appendicitis, most kids left me in the dust and it continued that way through my high school years.
But yeah, nineteen was an amazing year. And towards the end of it, I got my first real grownup boyfriend. Knowing him was like knowing the other half of myself. We were very happy together. Everyday with him was an adventure (and still is even though we're not together, whenever we see each other).
When I make a list about the qualities I would like in the ideal man, they are simple but important. I want someone who's kind to those around him, who's intelligent and wise without being arrogant, who works hard for what he wants and believes in, creative...and most importantly, I want someone who knows me completely and STILL loves me.
In reading that list, I know exactly who embodies those qualities which I desire most: my ex. Because of him, I know what I want and I would never settle for less. Because I was with him, I could never settle for someone who treated me even with just a little less respect than I deserve, as he always treated me like I created the sun and the moon.
And it's strange, because you wouldn't think two people like that would break up for reasons neither of them understand. (To be clear: he broke up with me and said at the time he didn't know why, other than he wasn't sure he felt the same way anymore -- it was very sudden.)
So, I don't really know what to do. But I know you're right, I can't wait around for him. Even though when I'm around him, I feel like my soul isn't broken in two. He's just a person -- like me. Nobody is "perfect". And as my grandmother said once: it takes two votes.
However, the longer we're apart, the more wrong it feels. It's supposed to be the other way around, isn't it? People always talk about how time makes it easier. I wind up becoming repulsed by every other guy who comes near me, even when I try my hardest to give them a sincere chance. All these guys who have approached me tend to embody the things I do not want (such as lying or being a downright vile person). At best, they feel like placeholders. And I can't, in good conscience, go around treating people like placeholders -- even if I don't think very much of their character. That would be the worst form of settling.
So, upon reflection of your advice, I feel much better. I feel as though I'm going in the right direction. Not settling, but not waiting somehow works very well for me. lol
Yes, I too think that people shape their own destinies (though I think the Creator knows what their choices will be). I think how your life turns out depends on what you do with the things you learn. If we all look deep inside ourselves, we know when we are being helped (whether we're given advice or being taught a valuable lesson). And if we take that help and use it to guide our decisions, the outcome will be uniquely right for us. That's what I'm going to do, eye_of_tiger. I am taking the help you have given me to heart. It's strengthening my outlook and resolve tremendously. And since that help came from you with such sincerity, it's very special and important to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Much love and a thousand hugs,
PrettySiren
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my situation and for your kind insights! On these forums, I often see people say how welcome and cared about they feel here. You are definitely one of those people who make them feel that way.
And thank you for your prayer of healing and strength. I offer the same to you, my friend, and wish you all the comfort in the world.Chronic sickness is difficult -- no question about it -- whether it's life-threatening or not. My first bout of it was when I was twelve: I had appendicitis for six months and nobody could figure out what was wrong with me, and when they did, they were confused about how I survived that long. I almost didn't. I developed peritonitis after the surgery. I had septic shock, kidney failure, and blood poisoning. After I recovered, I was bed-ridden for six months.
And since then, I've had to fight this nagging pessimism that I suppose is bound to creep up after such an event occurs. I've definitely had these thoughts like: "you're meant to be alone" or "you're not long-made for this life". But you know what? Deep down, I know it's rubbish and you're right -- I have to always realize that those thoughts are false. When I really examine myself and look deeply, I know that I am meant to find someone to share my life with.
Perhaps I'm treading a little off-topic here, but I do think it's related...
Since I turned nineteen, I felt as though my life was about to explode onto the stage. Up until that point, that nagging pessimism kept telling me otherwise. But when I turned nineteen, things changed. Suddenly, I wasn't alone. I had a vast array of friends and acquaintances (still know the acquaintances, but the friends are mostly gone). My family began to expand rapidly; my dad, sister, and several cousins all got married and had children that year. These things were like omens, telling me that my life was about to unravel and that I would get the same opportunities as everyone else.
I was very solitary as a teenager, you see. I only had maybe one or two friends. Not because I was weird, but mainly, after the appendicitis, most kids left me in the dust and it continued that way through my high school years.
But yeah, nineteen was an amazing year. And towards the end of it, I got my first real grownup boyfriend. Knowing him was like knowing the other half of myself. We were very happy together. Everyday with him was an adventure (and still is even though we're not together, whenever we see each other).
When I make a list about the qualities I would like in the ideal man, they are simple but important. I want someone who's kind to those around him, who's intelligent and wise without being arrogant, who works hard for what he wants and believes in, creative...and most importantly, I want someone who knows me completely and STILL loves me.
In reading that list, I know exactly who embodies those qualities which I desire most: my ex. Because of him, I know what I want and I would never settle for less. Because I was with him, I could never settle for someone who treated me even with just a little less respect than I deserve, as he always treated me like I created the sun and the moon.
And it's strange, because you wouldn't think two people like that would break up for reasons neither of them understand. (To be clear: he broke up with me and said at the time he didn't know why, other than he wasn't sure he felt the same way anymore -- it was very sudden.)
So, I don't really know what to do. But I know you're right, I can't wait around for him. Even though when I'm around him, I feel like my soul isn't broken in two. He's just a person -- like me. Nobody is "perfect". And as my grandmother said once: it takes two votes.
However, the longer we're apart, the more wrong it feels. It's supposed to be the other way around, isn't it? People always talk about how time makes it easier. I wind up becoming repulsed by every other guy who comes near me, even when I try my hardest to give them a sincere chance. All these guys who have approached me tend to embody the things I do not want (such as lying or being a downright vile person). At best, they feel like placeholders. And I can't, in good conscience, go around treating people like placeholders -- even if I don't think very much of their character. That would be the worst form of settling.
So, upon reflection of your advice, I feel much better. I feel as though I'm going in the right direction. Not settling, but not waiting somehow works very well for me. lol
Yes, I too think that people shape their own destinies (though I think the Creator knows what their choices will be). I think how your life turns out depends on what you do with the things you learn. If we all look deep inside ourselves, we know when we are being helped (whether we're given advice or being taught a valuable lesson). And if we take that help and use it to guide our decisions, the outcome will be uniquely right for us. That's what I'm going to do, eye_of_tiger. I am taking the help you have given me to heart. It's strengthening my outlook and resolve tremendously. And since that help came from you with such sincerity, it's very special and important to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Much love and a thousand hugs,
PrettySiren
-
kgirlsmomma
- Posts: 407
- Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:04 pm
In reading that list, I know exactly who embodies those qualities which I desire most: my ex. Because of him, I know what I want and I would never settle for less. Because I was with him, I could never settle for someone who treated me even with just a little less respect than I deserve, as he always treated me like I created the sun and the moon.
Happiness comes from within, not without. The fact that you feel happy for no reason is wonderful.
The above, is the gift from your relationship with your ex-. Thank him for it..have an attitude of gratitude for it, and don't forget it. Not let go..and allow..let go of the feelings that it's so hard, and horrible now that you're apart. Surrender to what is. If you can't then there's more to the lesson to be explored. Just be sure to stay in the present, the now, and see all opportunities before you. Not be blinded by your past, and twinge for the ex-.
Stay in joy & love.
Happiness comes from within, not without. The fact that you feel happy for no reason is wonderful.
The above, is the gift from your relationship with your ex-. Thank him for it..have an attitude of gratitude for it, and don't forget it. Not let go..and allow..let go of the feelings that it's so hard, and horrible now that you're apart. Surrender to what is. If you can't then there's more to the lesson to be explored. Just be sure to stay in the present, the now, and see all opportunities before you. Not be blinded by your past, and twinge for the ex-.
Stay in joy & love.
-
eye_of_tiger
- Site Admin
- Posts: 8489
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:47 am
- Location: Adelaide, South Australia
- Contact:
DECORDING
Dear Carrie,
Thanking you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words of appreciation for my efforts on your behalf, as well as for your very comprehensive and constructive feedback. I was neither overpowered nor bored by it, but instead felt somewhat humbled by your honesty and sincerity.
There are no general rules as to how we must all feel after a close relationship has broken up, and whether or not we will feel better over time.
Feeling worse as time goes on suggests that there are still energy attachments or cords remaining between you that could be unknowingly draining your very life force off at it's source, and I would therefore with respect suggest that you could try (if you have not done so already) a special visualization technique called DECORDING for at least the next two weeks, and see if this will help you to get any significant relief from that feeling of increasing emotional exhaustion which is a core symptom of such a codependency.
http://healingtowholeness.com/decording.html
I am very encouraged with regards to your future health and happiness by your positive and practical approach to the many challenges which have been placed in your path, as I feel a lesser person than yourself would have given up long ago when facing far less adverse circumstances than you have struggled with up until now.
It was both my pleasure and privilege to meet and help you, and I feel that other members who read this thread will be just as inspired as I was to read your response. I am certain that there are many people suffering from serious or chronic illnesses on this site who would greatly benefit from the courage and perseverance you have shown us here by applying the same admirable personal qualities in their own lives.
Loving regards,
eye_of_tiger
Thanking you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words of appreciation for my efforts on your behalf, as well as for your very comprehensive and constructive feedback. I was neither overpowered nor bored by it, but instead felt somewhat humbled by your honesty and sincerity.
There are no general rules as to how we must all feel after a close relationship has broken up, and whether or not we will feel better over time.
Feeling worse as time goes on suggests that there are still energy attachments or cords remaining between you that could be unknowingly draining your very life force off at it's source, and I would therefore with respect suggest that you could try (if you have not done so already) a special visualization technique called DECORDING for at least the next two weeks, and see if this will help you to get any significant relief from that feeling of increasing emotional exhaustion which is a core symptom of such a codependency.
http://www.paragonpeacock.com/Decording.htmSometimes we have unhealthy energetic attachments to individuals we have been in relationship with whether that be a partner, parent, child, etc. Even after that person is no longer with us do to a break up or death those attachments can remain. Decording is an energetic process where unhealthy attachments to individuals, places, situations are restored to balance. Power once given away, is called back. When we give our power away we can feel drained and lifeless. This process restores our self back to Self.
http://healingtowholeness.com/decording.html
I am very encouraged with regards to your future health and happiness by your positive and practical approach to the many challenges which have been placed in your path, as I feel a lesser person than yourself would have given up long ago when facing far less adverse circumstances than you have struggled with up until now.
It was both my pleasure and privilege to meet and help you, and I feel that other members who read this thread will be just as inspired as I was to read your response. I am certain that there are many people suffering from serious or chronic illnesses on this site who would greatly benefit from the courage and perseverance you have shown us here by applying the same admirable personal qualities in their own lives.
Loving regards,
eye_of_tiger
Hello PrettySiren :)
PrettySiren wrote:Dear eye_of_tiger,
But yeah, nineteen was an amazing year. And towards the end of it, I got my first real grownup boyfriend. Knowing him was like knowing the other half of myself. We were very happy together. Everyday with him was an adventure (and still is even though we're not together, whenever we see each other).
When I make a list about the qualities I would like in the ideal man, they are simple but important. I want someone who's kind to those around him, who's intelligent and wise without being arrogant, who works hard for what he wants and believes in, creative...and most importantly, I want someone who knows me completely and STILL loves me.
In reading that list, I know exactly who embodies those qualities which I desire most: my ex. Because of him, I know what I want and I would never settle for less. Because I was with him, I could never settle for someone who treated me even with just a little less respect than I deserve, as he always treated me like I created the sun and the moon.
And it's strange, because you wouldn't think two people like that would break up for reasons neither of them understand. (To be clear: he broke up with me and said at the time he didn't know why, other than he wasn't sure he felt the same way anymore -- it was very sudden.)
So, I don't really know what to do. But I know you're right, I can't wait around for him. Even though when I'm around him, I feel like my soul isn't broken in two. He's just a person -- like me. Nobody is "perfect". And as my grandmother said once: it takes two votes.
However, the longer we're apart, the more wrong it feels. It's supposed to be the other way around, isn't it? People always talk about how time makes it easier. I wind up becoming repulsed by every other guy who comes near me, even when I try my hardest to give them a sincere chance. All these guys who have approached me tend to embody the things I do not want (such as lying or being a downright vile person). At best, they feel like placeholders. And I can't, in good conscience, go around treating people like placeholders -- even if I don't think very much of their character. That would be the worst form of settling.
So, upon reflection of your advice, I feel much better. I feel as though I'm going in the right direction. Not settling, but not waiting somehow works very well for me. lol
Much love and a thousand hugs,
PrettySiren
I'm new to this forum, and I just had to respond to your post because I know firtshand some of the emotions you spoke of. I met a man who made me feel exactly the way you describe you felt with your ex. And he was the catalyst for a lot of changes I needed in my life....as was I for him. We had an inevitable, yet sudden parting of ways. Circumstances came up to where there really was no other option, though I don't think it was what either of us really wanted. And I tried to wait for things to come back to a place where we could be together again...and that road just seemed endless. A wise person once told me that you can't stop walking your own path waiting for someone to catch up to you. If you don't move forward with your own lessons, the timing will never be right, when and if you do meet again. And sometimes, if you are truly connected to someone...when you stop moving forward, it affects them too. And I felt like I couldn't and shouldn't wait around for him, and that he wouldn't want me to live feeling unfulfilled the way I had been...so....I tried. As hard as it was for me, I tried to fill that empty space. The new man actually popped up in my path rather suddenly and unexpectedly...and he reminded me so much of the man I was "holding out" for. So I thought that perhaps this was the universes' way of giving me that little nudge I needed. And he does fulfill me in ways that the other man was unable to when we were together. And I know I'm "supposed" to feel elated, some people are lucky just to find ONE person that they are compatible with in life...let alone two. But I still feel like something is missing. And I couldn't put a name on it until I saw your post about "placeholders". It's a horrible thought to me to have to admit to myself that perhaps that is what I have made this man into.....but I can't shake the resonance it had with me when I read it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still hold out a very strong hope that one day I would be able to reconnect with the man from past and not in a platonic manner. But as of yet...it is still not the right time. Perhaps not even the right lifetime. So for now, I try to take it one day at a time, and try my hardest to still learn what it is I have to learn, and pray that he is able to do the same. I'm still young...and there is still quite a road ahead of me. I am a firm believer in synchronicity and I believe that coming across this post was meant to serve as a little reminder to me of what things I have to be thankful for and to stop reflecting so forlornly at the past behind me...because it IS behind me. So thank you for that :)
And I do wish you brightest blessings and luck on YOUR path. (((HUG)))
Trish
-
kgirlsmomma
- Posts: 407
- Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:04 pm
The lesson, is to live in the NOW, this moment, not the past or the future, or the combination of the 2. You cannot create your future in any place but the NOW. Definitely not the past,or by keeping a 'placeholder'. Take advantage of each and every opportunity in your NOW. The universe has brought you a new peson to cherish. What a gift!
-
PrettySiren
- Posts: 103
- Joined: Sat Dec 06, 2008 8:24 am
- Contact:
You're right. I definitely view it as a gift, what I learned from being with him. And no matter what happens, I'll always have that gift and knowledge to carry with me.kgirlsmomma wrote:The above, is the gift from your relationship with your ex-. Thank him for it..have an attitude of gratitude for it, and don't forget it. Not let go..and allow..let go of the feelings that it's so hard, and horrible now that you're apart. Surrender to what is. If you can't then there's more to the lesson to be explored. Just be sure to stay in the present, the now, and see all opportunities before you. Not be blinded by your past, and twinge for the ex-.
Stay in joy & love.
I definitely believe that's possible. I mean, I don't feel like my bad feelings are consciously his or my faults. But I definitely grieved after we broke up, not because I was angry with being dumped, but rather for a relationship that ended. I'm going to try decording. I'll look at those links you posted.eye_of_tiger wrote:Feeling worse as time goes on suggests that there are still energy attachments or cords remaining between you that could be unknowingly draining your very life force off at it's source, and I would therefore with respect suggest that you could try (if you have not done so already) a special visualization technique called DECORDING for at least the next two weeks, and see if this will help you to get any significant relief from that feeling of increasing emotional exhaustion which is a core symptom of such a codependency.
Your words are too kind. But I sincerely hope that people can be helped through my life in anyway possible. That would be one of the biggest gifts I could give.eye_of_tiger wrote:It was both my pleasure and privilege to meet and help you, and I feel that other members who read this thread will be just as inspired as I was to read your response. I am certain that there are many people suffering from serious or chronic illnesses on this site who would greatly benefit from the courage and perseverance you have shown us here by applying the same admirable personal qualities in their own lives.
And I thank you again, eye_of_tiger, for taking so much time in helping me. It really means a lot. You are truly a wonderful person.
trish76, there are a lot of similarities in our journeys with men. And the situations have definitely been difficult.
But if there's one thing I've learned that I wish I knew before? Don't ever be with someone just because your friends told you to move on or you think you're supposed to move on.
I don't know about you, but when my ex and I broke up, I felt very insecure. Not ugly or unlovable -- I felt unprotected from the harsh reality of life and I felt very alone.
And just a couple of days after we broke up, a very false friend of mine (who had been my friend for over thirteen years!) told me that I was just whining and I didn't really know what true love was (she'd been engaged twice and is only a year older than me). She said the only thing to do for it was to get back with the guy I *briefly* dated before my ex.
And I knew that advice was wrong for me and I knew what she was telling me was WRONG.
Because that's going back to what I was trying to say in an earlier post. You will know in your heart when someone is giving you their truest and most best advice. And that's the advice you take and run with, because somehow when someone gives you their most honest, true, and unbiased advice from the heart, it tends to somehow come in useful for our unique paths. And that's the advice that you can depend on.
I don't know what your exact situation is (in regards to why you chose to date someone new). But another thing I've found is that a guy doesn't make you feel as good as the guy who you compare all other guys to did, it's probably not the real deal. (So far, no one's made me feel that way. But you know what? It's really okay. I know love comes when it's ready.)
And another thing I think I've discovered from on my own path: sometimes it's okay to tread in the water a bit before your make your next move. It's not being stagnate -- it's being thoughtful and truly considering what you want and need in this life.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests