Hi ~ waves ~ Ggirl at work

sderenzi · Post by **sderenzi** » Sat Mar 14, 2009 8:20 am

No long confusing stories here, met this girl at work who started there recently. She and I have been having lunch together and she told me she was married. Yet we get along well and I felt some sort of connection, I don't know if I can handle being friends with a girl since I'm lonely for a relationship with one but I can try.

She invited me out Saint Patricks Day to a bar with her other friends, I said I would go. Anyways it's really interesting to me because we like many of the same things and understand eachother pretty well. She actually gave me a valentines day present even though we'd only been speaking for like a week and a half :? So yea it's ironic to me I finally meet someone I get along with and she's married, haha. Any senses about this meeting her, etc. Is the universe trying to make a joke out of me? Make me laugh? lol

Bye

Appreciate your insights

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Sat Mar 14, 2009 12:17 pm

The universe is asking, why are you interested in a woman that is 'unavailable'.  Ask yourself that question.  Someone coming on so strongly in such a short period of time is not ready for any type of relationship.   Whatever her deal is, makes her 'needy' for attention.   Keep distance and keep it in its proper perspective, until she takes the time to 'heal' herself.  What her choices from here will be...End her current relationship, or not.  Heal the wounds from there, or not.  Figure out who she is, or not.    But ultimately, why are you interested in a woman that at this moment, isn't 'available'.

sderenzi · Post by **sderenzi** » Sat Mar 14, 2009 8:32 pm

Good point : shakes : guess cuz she talked to me lol Wow though good insight

~ Humm

PrettySiren · Post by **PrettySiren** » Mon Mar 16, 2009 2:52 am

kgirlsmomma makes some good points. I feel some sympathy for your situation, as people close to me have been in similar ones many a time. (And I can imagine how difficult it must feel at times.) So, I thought I would just add a few things from my perspective, that you can take or leave as you like.

I'm in no way a long-practicing reader (and this is actually the first time I've ever given my impressions in the psychic forum, so bare with me), but from the feelings I'm getting from the situation, she may be a little lonely and looking for someone too. Just because someone's married doesn't make them happy. There are many reasons married people look for affection elsewhere. It could be from unhappiness or lack of attention at home, or perhaps she's feeding off the positive energy you're giving her. (Regardless of her reasons for it, I definitely think she's feeding off YOUR positive energy.)

You really must ask yourself: "what does her being married mean to me?" Because that will give you the answers to the questions that are going through your mind. How does her being married change the way you think/feel about her? Or does it change the way you think about her at all? (These are questions for you to ask yourself and answer honestly.)

The universe isn't making a joke out of you. I believe (as many do) that the universe puts everyone in each other's paths for important reasons. Everybody is where they're supposed to be at that point in life, and usually a period of learning follows. Nobody can tell you what to do about your situation. If they did, you would never take away the knowledge you're meant to learn about the experience. And just as she was put in your life to teach you something, you are also put in hers to teach her something.

But only the two of you will know what you're supposed to learn (when you get to that point of epiphany -- though we don't always realize we've had an epiphany). And sometimes, people are sent into our lives to guide us down the paths we're supposed to follow. That's something to keep in mind as well.

Regardless of whether she's married or not, I'm sure you feel good that you have someone around whom you connect with. And that's very important.

There's only a few cautions I want you to be aware of. Firstly, don't let your loneliness allow you to read things into the relationship that aren't there. I say this because, even if your friend is unhappy in her marriage, it doesn't necessarily mean she wants to have an affair. And that is just a bit of general advice, not so much based on actual vibes. Another bit of general advice is that women are very vocal. In general, we like to communicate. If you were serious about being interested in her just because she talked to you, you can't read too much into that either.

But at the same time, I'm not trying to discourage you from anything (or encourage you to do anything but think and feel for yourself). I'm just trying to give you a different sort of perspective and points of view I'm picking up on. After all, only you know what's right for you on your path and when you realize the right thing -- you'll recognize it and act upon it.

-PrettySiren

cedars · Post by **cedars** » Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:25 pm

Very well put PrettySiren.....

firetopaz · Post by **firetopaz** » Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:43 pm

I am married and one of my best friends is male.  We have been friends for 20 years...only friends.  We too  have a lot in common and like interests and go out together...with and without my husband.  My husband does not feel threatened by the relationship and became good friends with him as well as a few other of my male friends.  If her husband is not included in your outings I would question her motives too.   It is possible to be  just friends with someone of the opposite sex...but you sound like you want a little more,  and you obviously want to do the right thing cuz you came here for advice.  I think she needs something in her life right now that you are giving her, but I don't know how healthy that is for either of you.  Look at the situation and try to see what the consequences for any actions will be...and ask yourself if you are comfortable with the results.  If she truly only wants to be friends, maybe she will introduce you to someone that is available.  I agree she came into your life for a reason...but what the reason is waits to be seen.  I feel you have good instincts, but your emotions are getting in the way.  She, too, is filling an empty spot in you.  Take your time until you are  both sure of your motives.

sderenzi · Post by **sderenzi** » Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:38 am

Great words, actually we had an interesting discussion during lunch. She said she felt more comfortable around me than this other fellow that also eats lunch with us sometimes, and that it felt more real when I was there, like she knew me etc. I agreed politely and actually I think I finally understand something, a relationship, a true relationship, one where both are on the same level spiritually, that doesn't need to be sexual. It can be what it is, pure and true. I realized sitting there how ridiculious it was to argue over anything like that and I saw the universe put her in my path for the one reason that I'd finally learn, sex is nothing, spiritual relationships are all we truly can have. If sex comes from it that's fine, but spiritually her an I are meant to be friends. Strange ephiphany eh? I found it rather amazing myself when I realized it. I guess what I'm saying is now I'm not so worried, it's great!

firetopaz · Post by **firetopaz** » Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:01 am

I am glad you talked with her and things are good with you!  
Bless you both!

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Tue Mar 17, 2009 11:20 am

Also, many times, we run across people we have known in another life...as a brother, sister, or lover, and the 'connection' is there.  Often that is what we feel.  We have found someone from another time, so it feels good & comfortable, and safe, all as you described.  I'm glad you learned a important lesson.

sderenzi · Post by **sderenzi** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 10:09 am

Well this was all wrong, all wrong, this whole idea of being pals. Man I'm so screwed up lol I'll tell ya one thing ppl don't do anything you didn't believe you could do before trying it, well ok ignore that for most stuff but seriously I've been drinking 3 days straight since I went out with this person and friends, trying to forget. Horrible, horrible. It was fun but seriously I am not doin so great ha. Well I'm gonna really need to think about my bad luck, you know a psychic said I sought married women out so I couldn't committ, haha yea sure.. what lies. I committ here to never thinking about this again, I'm gonna keep goni to bars and drinkin, well 3 days of it is costin me 16 a day :\

I think I might go see a friend this weekend a few hours from here, it might get my mind off this stuff. I gotta say all I can describe myself as possessing is BAD SOCIAL SKILLS and BAD LUCK, very very bad considering the girl I liked what 3 years ago was also married but considering divorce.

I guess I'll keep ya posted but I feel just awful right now

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 11:59 am

We can learn life lessons thru joy; or we can learn them from pain. You have set yourself up to learn a very long, hard & difficult lesson thru pain. Remember, WE create and choose our world as we wish it to be, to learn life lessons. That is why we come to earth. It is the only place to feel and do so. You are resonsible, and you can 're-write the script' of your life. As soon as you stop numbing your pain thru alcohol and avoidance, and start learning the lessons. Here I agree with the psychic, about your ability to not commit because you choose women who are 'unavailable'. So, why can't you commit? Fear, low self-esteem, self-loathing...and the list can go on..and on..

Best wishes & joy for a quick & speedy learning of lessons.

firetopaz · Post by **firetopaz** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 2:13 am

hon...I don't mean to preach...but....you can't drink forever without killing yourself and these feelings you are trying to run away from will be there waiting for you when you stop.  Tell us what happened and we will try to help.

sderenzi · Post by **sderenzi** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 12:45 am

The best advice I got here was from PrettySiren. Basically I've decided to try limiting my time around the girl-who-wants-guy-friends because I am indeed lonely and it clouds my instincts around her. I have tried asking out 1 other girl kinda but she said to text her and because I don't have a cell phone nothing really transpired. Also this other girl I took a smoke break with unless I'm there she really seems to ignore me, so eh. I think I can be friends with the girl-who-wants-guy-friends at work, but outside of that is asking for disaster (for me presonally). Also she seems very intent on asking for advice about things, it's rather weird. So far she's asked me about many spiritual things, although I did know the answers to them :/

And um, well she wants to bring a deck of playing cards so we can play poker? I was like "I don't know how to play poker" and she said she'll teach me, etc... and learn from doing it. Oh well..

One thing that angered me was she said I was like an adult now when it was made known my birthday would make me 29. Give me a break!

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Hi ~ waves ~ Ggirl at work

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