Marriage Relationship Crisis

[Tantagar]

Hello, I am in a very stressful situation right now and could use some input right now from the spiritual side. I myself am quite a spiritual person, but I do not want to cloud my foretelling with my emotions inadvertently, thus I come here to get the opinion of another with the gift.

I will give some background information. If you need it, if not skip below to the question.

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My husband and I have been having arguments every now and then that resulted in my getting depressed or angry with him and not wanting him to touch me when he would later come to apologize. This went on for far too long as I now realize, causing him to seek the comforts of another girl whom he met online.

Our latest argument was about her (me feeling uncomfortable because he seemed to be getting too close to her), which resulted in me behaving immaturely due to stress. Two days later he told me only she can make him happy and that he always only loved me as a friend (we have just recently had an intimacy that he declared was one of his best ever, so I know that's not true on a spiritual level).

Anyway, two days after that he gave me divorce papers and I signed them without really wanting to. He has been emotionally distant, locks himself away in his room (he made the office into his bedroom to not sleep next to me), and even after my apologizing to him and realizing my mistakes says that he doesn't want to be married to me. It's like he wants to erase me from his life to go live a false reality with her (he told me he wants to go on tour with her in the Summer, etc.) Yet, he says that even if this is the worst mistake in his life (divorcing me), he still wants to do it. He doesn't want to go to a marital counselor either.

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So, in the course of a week my husband has seemingly become infatuated with her and is seemingly abandoning our 5 year marriage. I am deeply troubled, upset, and heartbroken. I have 90 days to reconcil our marriage or it's really over (forced to sign papers really).

I feel like it will work out intuitively in the long run, but I would just like some input from you guys on what you are feeling.

What can I do with this situation now? What can I do to either change it, accept it, or think about it differently? If I wanted us to get back together, what should I do or what moves should I make from this point?

Thank you all so very very much in this time of need.

My name: Skye
B-Day: April 29, 1987
Taurus

[Cascade of Light]

Oh my poor lady, I feel so much for you, and to make things worse it is all happening at this time of families and joy. What do you feel inside? I wa given a picture of a smallish room with a computer in and a silent lonely man that is being carried away with the intensity of an online romance. When we discuss online we can sometimes get so close to the other person, no barriers, no bills to pay, just fun and understanding and a no holds barred freedom that we do not get with a real life relationship, bills to pay, washing to do and food to make.

This all seems very fast and very sudden and if it is truly that way then I doubt it will last, the old saying decide in haste repent at leisure stands very true here! You must be hurting so much and really doubting yourself and feeling that your whole relationship has been built on sand.

I can see things coming to a head, there is a tension and a blowing off of energy that will make things seem clearer to you and him. I do hope that you can be patient and talk to him and perhaps tell him how You feel right now. It's not all about him, marriage is 50/50, it needs to be a balance between you both. Give and take on both sides.

The internet can be very addictive and lead to compulsive behaviour, some people can live out their dreams online. Has he even met this girl or talked to her in real life? He needs to do that asap so that you can truly know where you stand.
The 90 days is a cooling off period, what terms or grounds did he cite? What reasons? After 5 years it seems to be very sudden.

I feel that you can work on this and if you give him his freedom he will change his mind, but will You want him then? You have a lot to think about, deep down inside and if this is coming across as more a friend's advice then so be it. But my heart goes out to you at this tough time.   You could always close down the net, but that may push him into desperation, so I see it is better to give him his freedom and let him make his choices with out any more pressure. Internet romances rarely work, when the real thing is close by lol. Have you tried female distraction? ;)

Good luck xxxx

[Cascade of Light]

Hi Tantagar,

Thank-you so much for pming me your feedback, I really wish you a very happy new year xxxxxx