Hi,
I saw your post come up and wanted to pass on a message to you.
I have been told that you are trying too hard at the moment that the reason, the something that is driving you forward right now does not have the right intention behind it and so will be causing obstacles in your path. There is a level change coming that is without doubt but you need to search your intentions and look at your reasons for trying so many different ways to develop and looking for shortcuts.
If we try too hard, too many, too soon, we find we end up as master of none. Decide which branch you want to work on and then learn how to develop properly. I know it is hard for you to take advice or instruction from others, you prefer to be the top the leader and not to ask as you see that as being vulnerable and weak, but that is not true at all when it somes to spiritual developlment, use grounding and centering techniques so that you can connect properly to your energy source. Don't mix and match, that doesn't work well and could explain the delay you feel and why it isn't happening right. Also you can do a lot of learning on your own, putting work in on protection now will give dividends later on.
There is a lot of fun and you need to knuckle down and take your development seriously, decide what you believe in and why and how far you really want to pursue this as at the moment your energy feels haphazard and undefined. Maybe you are at a crossroads and just need some direction. Perhaps you know inside exactly where you want to go but are hesitating because you lack the knowledge or method to follow in those footsteps. But right now you are exactly right and what you are feeling needs to guide you
Susie