Reading request
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eye_of_tiger
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What a terribly uncomfortable situation this has placed you in, and through absolutely no fault of your own. I feel very deeply for you as without this age barrier I believe that there would have been a real future for you as a couple, although there would still be challenges ahead for the both of you. There is no denying that he has feelings for you (as you obviously have for him) but Indian family tradition prevents him from being able to act upon them. I really do not feel that it is so much a matter of him not "having the guts" to stand up to his family, but that it has much more to do with him feeling terribly guilty for having made the mistake in the first place (knowing that he would have not been allowed to have any relationship with let alone marry you, according to his family tradition).
Your reading suggests that you will eventually find a solution to this problem, but that it will involve a great degree of give and take between your family and his. It will be largely a temporary solution, but it will at least give the both of you the space you deserve to be able to get to know each other better without having to constantly put up with undue pressure from people outside of your relationship. There is also a strong feeling with your reading that you must keep your love life and work relationship completely separate, and if it is at all possible take a short trip together, or at least try to get away for a few hours at a time and learn to relax and enjoy each other's company.
I am certainly NOT suggesting that you should simply run away together and elope (that will end in disaster), but I believe that this man never wanted to break off his relationship with you, but did not at the same time know what else to do to remain on friendly terms with his parents. I do feel that at 29 years of age (Indian traditions aside), he needs to be much more honest with his own parents about his reasons for ending your relationship, and that if he does there is still every reason to hope that they will finally come around to his way of thinking. As he is no longer financially dependent on his parents(?) preventing him for seeing you could potentially mean that they also will lose him, and they will need to decide whether it is worth losing their son merely for the sake of honouring their traditions (which I continue to respect).
There is a possible future for your relationship with him (although I feel that it is somewhat premature at this stage to be thinking about marriage) but ONLY IF he is able to honestly communicate with his parents about his true feelings for you, and ONLY IF you yourself do not try to push things along too rapidly according to your own schedule. Can you arrange to speak with him away from your work place, rather than going on believing that he does not still have feelings for you and attempting to read his mind as to why he really chose to break off your relationship?
Hoping that this reading brings you some peace of mind, and please do not give up on the possibility of getting back together with him over the coming months.
God bless you both!!!
Your reading suggests that you will eventually find a solution to this problem, but that it will involve a great degree of give and take between your family and his. It will be largely a temporary solution, but it will at least give the both of you the space you deserve to be able to get to know each other better without having to constantly put up with undue pressure from people outside of your relationship. There is also a strong feeling with your reading that you must keep your love life and work relationship completely separate, and if it is at all possible take a short trip together, or at least try to get away for a few hours at a time and learn to relax and enjoy each other's company.
I am certainly NOT suggesting that you should simply run away together and elope (that will end in disaster), but I believe that this man never wanted to break off his relationship with you, but did not at the same time know what else to do to remain on friendly terms with his parents. I do feel that at 29 years of age (Indian traditions aside), he needs to be much more honest with his own parents about his reasons for ending your relationship, and that if he does there is still every reason to hope that they will finally come around to his way of thinking. As he is no longer financially dependent on his parents(?) preventing him for seeing you could potentially mean that they also will lose him, and they will need to decide whether it is worth losing their son merely for the sake of honouring their traditions (which I continue to respect).
There is a possible future for your relationship with him (although I feel that it is somewhat premature at this stage to be thinking about marriage) but ONLY IF he is able to honestly communicate with his parents about his true feelings for you, and ONLY IF you yourself do not try to push things along too rapidly according to your own schedule. Can you arrange to speak with him away from your work place, rather than going on believing that he does not still have feelings for you and attempting to read his mind as to why he really chose to break off your relationship?
Hoping that this reading brings you some peace of mind, and please do not give up on the possibility of getting back together with him over the coming months.
God bless you both!!!
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eye_of_tiger
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Dear pjyoti, :)
You are always most welcome and please accept my sincere thanks for your excellent feedback, as it assists me to constantly make the effort to improve the quality of my readings.
I really do hope that things will eventually work out well for the both of you, but if they do not (and we cannot entirely rule out this possibility although we should remain as positive as we can) it will not be through any of your own doing, or your fault.
Sometimes even the best of intentions and all your love is simply not enough? 
You are always most welcome and please accept my sincere thanks for your excellent feedback, as it assists me to constantly make the effort to improve the quality of my readings.
I really do hope that things will eventually work out well for the both of you, but if they do not (and we cannot entirely rule out this possibility although we should remain as positive as we can) it will not be through any of your own doing, or your fault.
Sometimes even the best of intentions and all your love is simply not enough?
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eye_of_tiger
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From what I understand of your response he simply told you that he was enjoying himself watching a movie with some of his friends that day when you rang. In other words, he appears to have been completely honest with you that he was doing something else that day, but he never said anything that would suggest that he did not want to see you some other time, or that he was not interested in you romantically. Surely he can have his own friends over to his place now and then, without you having your feelings hurt and breaking up your relationship with one another.
Unfortunately you overreacted to what you misinterpreted as a rejection, when I believe that it was nothing to be concerned about (even though it was obviously disappointing not to be able to see him that day). You made a mistake for sure, but this simply shows that you are human and it will eventually blow over if you do not continue to punish yourself for having loving feelings for this man.
Take what lessons you can learn from what happened and try not to turn something into a battle when you could have asked him if he would like to meet you the following day, instead of expecting him to be waiting for your call every day before contacting his own friends. You can still have a relationship with this man, if you can only accept that he should be able to see his friends sometimes without you always being there.
To prevent him from doing so and suspecting immediately that he is with some other woman is a sign of your own insecurity (understandable), but in this case at least your suspicions have no basis in reality. He was doing what he said - watching movies with his friends. Give it time and allow things to settle down before you phone him again. Life is mainly trial and error, and you made an error this time. Do not blow this out of all reasonable proportion, and beat up on yourself for needing to feel loved. You will continue to have my full support.
Unfortunately you overreacted to what you misinterpreted as a rejection, when I believe that it was nothing to be concerned about (even though it was obviously disappointing not to be able to see him that day). You made a mistake for sure, but this simply shows that you are human and it will eventually blow over if you do not continue to punish yourself for having loving feelings for this man.
Take what lessons you can learn from what happened and try not to turn something into a battle when you could have asked him if he would like to meet you the following day, instead of expecting him to be waiting for your call every day before contacting his own friends. You can still have a relationship with this man, if you can only accept that he should be able to see his friends sometimes without you always being there.
To prevent him from doing so and suspecting immediately that he is with some other woman is a sign of your own insecurity (understandable), but in this case at least your suspicions have no basis in reality. He was doing what he said - watching movies with his friends. Give it time and allow things to settle down before you phone him again. Life is mainly trial and error, and you made an error this time. Do not blow this out of all reasonable proportion, and beat up on yourself for needing to feel loved. You will continue to have my full support.
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eye_of_tiger
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While the circumstances are not quite the same when I was courting my wife of now 28 years we had an arrangement that on those days did not see each other in person ( I had a full teaching load at the time) we used to instead take turns phoning each other. I was still living at home with my parents back then.
One night it was her turn to ring me, but no telephone call ever came. I was worried, but deeply hurt.
On the next day I finally heard from her and she asked me if I wanted to see her ever again. I replied that the answer was obvious, so why would she ask such a strange question (and why didn't she ring me the previous night).
Now it finally turned out that my own father had used our phone earlier that same night, and the hand piece had not been properly put back on the receiver. Her call had not got through because the phone had been permanently engaged all night (accidentally). I can tell you that my father was not particularly popular with his only son for some considerable time after this happened! :smt018
The moral of my story is not to instantly assume that because someone does not get back to you immediately that it must mean that you have been rejected. The same thing if the other person has already made other arrangements with their friends before you contacted him.
If you continue to overreact and try to push things along too fast without first more carefully checking your facts, your chances of becoming a couple are effectively zero.
If he really does not want to have a relationship with you (and I have yet to hear any evidence that this is so) now or some time in the future, surely it is better to find this out by asking him directly if he first wants to be your friend, rather than making yourself terribly unhappy over something which may never have really happened.
Take it easy and do not panic, and please check out your facts more carefully first before making a decision as to whether or not you have a future together as a couple. I do understand that it is difficult to remain positive all of the time, but do not allow these negative thoughts to possibly spoil what could have potentially been a relatively happy long term relationship on the basis of a missed call or email.
Hey, I am on your side!
One night it was her turn to ring me, but no telephone call ever came. I was worried, but deeply hurt.
On the next day I finally heard from her and she asked me if I wanted to see her ever again. I replied that the answer was obvious, so why would she ask such a strange question (and why didn't she ring me the previous night).
Now it finally turned out that my own father had used our phone earlier that same night, and the hand piece had not been properly put back on the receiver. Her call had not got through because the phone had been permanently engaged all night (accidentally). I can tell you that my father was not particularly popular with his only son for some considerable time after this happened! :smt018
The moral of my story is not to instantly assume that because someone does not get back to you immediately that it must mean that you have been rejected. The same thing if the other person has already made other arrangements with their friends before you contacted him.
If you continue to overreact and try to push things along too fast without first more carefully checking your facts, your chances of becoming a couple are effectively zero.
If he really does not want to have a relationship with you (and I have yet to hear any evidence that this is so) now or some time in the future, surely it is better to find this out by asking him directly if he first wants to be your friend, rather than making yourself terribly unhappy over something which may never have really happened.
Take it easy and do not panic, and please check out your facts more carefully first before making a decision as to whether or not you have a future together as a couple. I do understand that it is difficult to remain positive all of the time, but do not allow these negative thoughts to possibly spoil what could have potentially been a relatively happy long term relationship on the basis of a missed call or email.
Hey, I am on your side!
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Rohiniranjan
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No offense to anyone on this ongoing public conversation, but oft-times it is best to get the word straight from the horse's mouth and not look all over the Universe BUT the STABLE!
ASK HIM DIRECTLY and that way you would not be imagining things or being aided by imaginative though perhaps caring individuals (?) and just go round and round in this situation.
The final decision is yours! Do you want to be stuck in this situation forever or do you want to experience the rest of your life?
RR
[quote="pjyoti"]Dear eye-of-tiger,
Thanks for yr encouraging reply. However, if he really cared, he would hv replied to my sms sent on sat & Sunday, isn’t it ?? He knew I was depressed, yet he was able to ignore me and go for a movie.
Y/day, I sent him a mail apologizing for being rude to him thru sms and explaining my state of mind due to the breakup. Again, no reply from him. He has completely cooled off. Why cant he just reply with some soothing words ? He is completely ignoring me. I wonder if he feels being stalked by me. I just need one msg fm him saying that he too cares and understands, but I feel he is scared to come close to me again for fear that I will pile on again. How can I go back again when he is not responding to me at all ?? Sorry dear…im being negative. Shall try and think positively after sometime…[/quote]
ASK HIM DIRECTLY and that way you would not be imagining things or being aided by imaginative though perhaps caring individuals (?) and just go round and round in this situation.
The final decision is yours! Do you want to be stuck in this situation forever or do you want to experience the rest of your life?
RR
[quote="pjyoti"]Dear eye-of-tiger,
Thanks for yr encouraging reply. However, if he really cared, he would hv replied to my sms sent on sat & Sunday, isn’t it ?? He knew I was depressed, yet he was able to ignore me and go for a movie.
Y/day, I sent him a mail apologizing for being rude to him thru sms and explaining my state of mind due to the breakup. Again, no reply from him. He has completely cooled off. Why cant he just reply with some soothing words ? He is completely ignoring me. I wonder if he feels being stalked by me. I just need one msg fm him saying that he too cares and understands, but I feel he is scared to come close to me again for fear that I will pile on again. How can I go back again when he is not responding to me at all ?? Sorry dear…im being negative. Shall try and think positively after sometime…[/quote]
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