blueberry wrote:I'm at my wits end. Life sucks big time. Dont know what to do anymore. Die or live? So much confusion all around. So much disappointment that life has turned into a burden that only death can take away.
No family, No friends, No Job, No money, No health.There's nothing left in my life. From being a strong willed and spirited person I've turned into a weak and pathetic loser who has nothing to show for her success in life. Had high dreams and wishes and hopes, now only disappointments.
Even after struggling to make money for the past 6 years, don't have a penny to show instead have fallen under mounts of debt. Family treats like shit and a burden. Relationship between me and my mother is getting worse and worse. I love her but she rejects me in favor of my eldest sister. I feel like dying would be a better option. But somewhere deep inside the heart, I want to give life a chance.
So if somebody can do a reading and shed some light on my miserable life, I'd truly appreciate. Any psychic, astrologer, anybody
Name=Ambar
DOB=10-14-1982
Time=Dont know. Probably was day.
Welcome Ambar,
It always deeply saddens me to especially see such a relatively young person as yourself feeling as though life and the world have deserted you, when there is still potentially so much of a positive nature for you to look forward to.
Weak and pathetic losers (if indeed such people exist, and that is only their opinion) do not take the necessary risks involved in reaching out for what help is available to them, as you have just done by requesting this reading.
You wrote......
So much disappointment that life has turned into a burden that only death can take away.
I am sorry to have to tell you this, although I hope it might help to change your mind about this option of taking what you may see as the easier way out by ending your own life, but even physical death will not remove this burden you are presently carrying.
Indeed because you have by so doing removed any opportunity to fix any of the problems you left behind or make up in some way for the disappointments you felt while you were still living on Earth because you can no longer influence or interact with the physical world, the psychic pain you experience in Spirit could actually be much more intense and effectively without any end in sight.
Rather than making things any better, you would unwittingly making them infinitely worse for yourself, as well as for those people who love and care for you regardless of the fact that you do not believe that anybody still does.
So now hopefully we have got that idea out of the way, I wanted to pass on to you in my response not only the messages which came through me on your behalf in your reading, but also what I have personally learned as the result of having survived at least one total nervous breakdown including suicidal thoughts, several wake up and take notice spiritual experiences I had around the same time in my life, as well as having struggled for most of my 56 years on this planet with the destructive effects of low self esteem coupled with chronic anxiety and depression.
So who is this person within you who is not only so disappointed that life is not treating her very well, but whom also believes deep down where it really counts that she does not deserve anything better? What is it within you which you say has changed you from being a strong willed and spirited person into someone who you now regard as a weak and pathetic loser? Who is it within you who is asking you to believe that you are somehow cursed or are forever destined to live as life of pain, frustration and disappointment, with nothing more positive in between?
My feelings based on your reading is that for some reason only known to yourself you are carrying in your subconscious mind a core belief which may have either intentionally or unintentionally come to you from other important people in your earlier years. This could either be for your parents, or someone completely different including a a more distant family member or even a school teacher.
As well as this it is my strong conviction that none of us enter our current lifetime as a completely blank slate. Each of us already has our own basic temperament or unique way of looking at life and the world. So I am suggesting to you that if you examine your earlier years and cannot work out exactly who has passed onto you this self defeating belief that you are not as worthy as the next person is to live a happy and successful life, then it may be that the answer is to be found during one or more of countless past life experiences of yours.
Now if one holds on long and hard enough to such a self destructive belief, and even worse is not conscious of this being there in the deeper layers of her own mind or has no known way to removing it and it's effects once and for all if she did, then the subconscious mind has no other option available to it other than to attract the very factors into her life to support or agree with her belief and to greatly increase the chances that things will only go from bad to worse.
So when I tell you that you are being your own worst enemy by unintentionally strengthening this belief by constant practice, I am not for one moment suggesting that you are so silly as to deliberately do this cruel type of thing to yourself.
Unfortunately for the both of us most of these beliefs are deep seated, unconscious, and therefore frequently difficult to budge by methods commonly available to the general public. This is where I am advising you to without further delay also seek whatever professional and medical assistance is available in your local area to enhance and support your own efforts to deprogram your mind and to slowly but surely flush out this total nonsense and allow it to then heal in it's own proper time.
But getting rid of such a negative core belief about one's self worth is often not enough, as it may soon be replaced by something just as bad or worse
if we do not get in first and replace it with a life affirming belief instead.
So in summary, your reading and I am both telling you that the only real thing holding you back from having a much happier and successful life are such beliefs as I have described above. I am making you more aware of who your enemy is not to scare or to dispirit you anymore than is already the case, but instead to offer you a possible plan or way of solving this complex problem you are facing.
I am now throwing you a life line to hold onto, by giving you what I see as being your best option towards having the sort of life you so richly deserve to enjoy, just as much as any other fallible human being does.
What you choose to do with the life line I have tossed to you as your reader and friend is now to a large degree entirely your decision, although there are plenty of people to help you to do this (including your internet friends on these MB forums).
What are you now going to decide to do, with the deliberate, plannned intention of turning your life around in a more positive direction, as it once was when you were much younger and not yet so deeply emotionally wounded by those people who would criticize you, or want to put you down?
Love, Light and Healing,
eye_of_tiger
