Hello my name is Chloe. A little background-I was in a toxic relationship on and off for years with an alcoholic. It ended (for good) a while back. I believe this person was a part of my past life as we had very strange similarities and a crazy amounts of chemistry, always. I have since done a lot releasing meditations to let him go and to be okay with that decision.
For the past few months I have been doing all the things I love to do, meditating, praying, hiking, and trying to manifest my true soul mate. I had dreams of him and felt as if I could feel his presence. At the same time I began seeing a guy who I didn't feel was the "one" but I was strongly attracted him anyways. He has slowly pulled away from me and now I can't "feel" my one anymore. I feel bitter and cynical. Even though I am taking care of myself and doing all the right things.
I know you guys can't foretell anyone's love life I just don't know where to go from here. Or why things are going so badly all of a sudden. Any insight would help. Sorry for the long post. Thank you.
I am just off lately. Does anyone have time for a reading?
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eye_of_tiger
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An unconscious love triangle
Welcome Chloe,
Your request made me feel sad as well as at the same time inspired. Sad in that you had to endure this intolerable situation for so long but inspired by your courage and strength of purpose which has seen you grow and mature significantly in the spiritual sense, since it was all over for your toxic relationship with a man who would no matter what you had done to try to fix it never be able to give you the true and lasting love and respect which you so deserve to be given.
If there is anything to your belief that he is a soul mate and that you met him again in this life time in order to resolve outstanding emotional issues from a past shared life time of yours, that purpose has been well served and has reached its conclusion. From a karmic perspective there is no longer any reason for you to have to go through this ever again, either in this incarnation or in any future ones.
Where do you go from here? The same direction in which you are already going. For a person of your immense inner strength and emotional sincerity there is no other option available to you. You certainly cannot go back to who you were before you met him as we are forever changed by our experiences.
And although your journey towards personal freedom from any sense of needless guilt or failure or regrets that you somehow did not do enough or try hard enough to save the relationship has been a long and painful one, during the past few months it is clear from what you have demonstrated to us by your self imposed self improvement regime that you have come through this ordeal a much stronger and more self confident woman as a direct consequence of your active and practical approach to your problems in breaking free of what could have been a life sentence, which could have easily destroyed a lesser person than yourself.
You are doing everything right, and are doing nothing wrong. The labels "right" and "wrong" suggest that you had a much greater degree of conscious control over what he did to you, when the reality was and still is that we are each as individuals in the end only responsible for our own conscious behavior. We are also here to learn our own lessons and not someone else's, although if in learning our lessons well this in turn helps someone else to learn and grow, it is an added bonus or the icing on our spiritual cakes.
On a more logical level, as we are meant to use a combination of logic and intuition to help solve our life's challenges I am wondering how much you told the man who was not your one, about the man who you believe was. No man likes to be compared to an ex, even if the comparison is favorable to him, as it is like living in a relationship where there are three people instead of two.
Even if you did not talk to him about the alcoholic in any length, the simple fact that you are experiencing such intense dreams about him suggests to me that at least unconsciously you are still far from attaining the sense of closure which you are so urgently looking for.
The lion's share of what we communicate to another person is non verbal. It is not what we say that often counts, but rather the unconscious signals which our bodies are sending out to everyone around us which frequently reveal the most about the true nature and depth of our inner conflicts. If you no longer had any lasting feelings of affection for him, you would not be having these conflict dreams in the first place, and this would no longer be an obstacle to you moving forwards.
So once again as was also the case with your previous relationship, the reading feels that consciously you have done nothing wrong, but the problem is that your unconscious mind is sending out mixed signals to any man whom you meet from then on. Effectively these entirely unconscious body signals are telling your potential partners that you want to be with them fully in love, but you are still with someone else.
No wonder then that the man whom you were probably attracted to "on the rebound" is so confused about whether you are ready for him, although it is certainly not your fault or responsibility that these signals are being sent out as fortunately we are only held to account for what we are consciously aware of and have conscious control over.
What then I hear you asking can I reasonably and practically and regularly do to stop sending out these mixed body signals, which are basically sabotaging any of my efforts to finally find a man who deserves to be loved and respected by me, as he should love and respect me in return?
While the reading feels that the situation is far from being without any hope, it does make clear that your eventual freedom from your cynicism and bitterness will need to involve at some stage the intervention and guidance of a trained professional, if you are going to make a major positive breakthrough during the next six months which are thought to be covered by it.
Yes you could go a long way in this direction by yourself as you have ready been doing by meditating, praying and hiking in the great outdoors for the past few months, but why not in addition to what you are already doing to help yourself get whatever professional and non professional help and support which you can access and afford, in order to make this process a little easier for yourself than it might have otherwise been? Not only do you deserve to get the help, but you owe it to yourself to keep reaching out for it, as you have done by asking for this reading.
It has been both my pleasure and my privilege to meet and read for you. Your posting as not long, drawn out or overdone by any of my standards. In contrast to this, I have never received in all my time as a reader such a well thought out and beautifully expressed personal testament to the enduring strength of the human spirit, written in so few words.
The reading has only confirmed my initial impression that you are well on your way in the positive direction to achieving your goal of closure unconsciously as well as consciously, which could possibly with professional help allow you to focus on only one man and relationship at a time, instead of two men and two relationships simultaneously as is happening at present.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT 
:smt049 :smt049
Your request made me feel sad as well as at the same time inspired. Sad in that you had to endure this intolerable situation for so long but inspired by your courage and strength of purpose which has seen you grow and mature significantly in the spiritual sense, since it was all over for your toxic relationship with a man who would no matter what you had done to try to fix it never be able to give you the true and lasting love and respect which you so deserve to be given.
If there is anything to your belief that he is a soul mate and that you met him again in this life time in order to resolve outstanding emotional issues from a past shared life time of yours, that purpose has been well served and has reached its conclusion. From a karmic perspective there is no longer any reason for you to have to go through this ever again, either in this incarnation or in any future ones.
Where do you go from here? The same direction in which you are already going. For a person of your immense inner strength and emotional sincerity there is no other option available to you. You certainly cannot go back to who you were before you met him as we are forever changed by our experiences.
And although your journey towards personal freedom from any sense of needless guilt or failure or regrets that you somehow did not do enough or try hard enough to save the relationship has been a long and painful one, during the past few months it is clear from what you have demonstrated to us by your self imposed self improvement regime that you have come through this ordeal a much stronger and more self confident woman as a direct consequence of your active and practical approach to your problems in breaking free of what could have been a life sentence, which could have easily destroyed a lesser person than yourself.
You are doing everything right, and are doing nothing wrong. The labels "right" and "wrong" suggest that you had a much greater degree of conscious control over what he did to you, when the reality was and still is that we are each as individuals in the end only responsible for our own conscious behavior. We are also here to learn our own lessons and not someone else's, although if in learning our lessons well this in turn helps someone else to learn and grow, it is an added bonus or the icing on our spiritual cakes.
On a more logical level, as we are meant to use a combination of logic and intuition to help solve our life's challenges I am wondering how much you told the man who was not your one, about the man who you believe was. No man likes to be compared to an ex, even if the comparison is favorable to him, as it is like living in a relationship where there are three people instead of two.
Even if you did not talk to him about the alcoholic in any length, the simple fact that you are experiencing such intense dreams about him suggests to me that at least unconsciously you are still far from attaining the sense of closure which you are so urgently looking for.
The lion's share of what we communicate to another person is non verbal. It is not what we say that often counts, but rather the unconscious signals which our bodies are sending out to everyone around us which frequently reveal the most about the true nature and depth of our inner conflicts. If you no longer had any lasting feelings of affection for him, you would not be having these conflict dreams in the first place, and this would no longer be an obstacle to you moving forwards.
So once again as was also the case with your previous relationship, the reading feels that consciously you have done nothing wrong, but the problem is that your unconscious mind is sending out mixed signals to any man whom you meet from then on. Effectively these entirely unconscious body signals are telling your potential partners that you want to be with them fully in love, but you are still with someone else.
No wonder then that the man whom you were probably attracted to "on the rebound" is so confused about whether you are ready for him, although it is certainly not your fault or responsibility that these signals are being sent out as fortunately we are only held to account for what we are consciously aware of and have conscious control over.
What then I hear you asking can I reasonably and practically and regularly do to stop sending out these mixed body signals, which are basically sabotaging any of my efforts to finally find a man who deserves to be loved and respected by me, as he should love and respect me in return?
While the reading feels that the situation is far from being without any hope, it does make clear that your eventual freedom from your cynicism and bitterness will need to involve at some stage the intervention and guidance of a trained professional, if you are going to make a major positive breakthrough during the next six months which are thought to be covered by it.
Yes you could go a long way in this direction by yourself as you have ready been doing by meditating, praying and hiking in the great outdoors for the past few months, but why not in addition to what you are already doing to help yourself get whatever professional and non professional help and support which you can access and afford, in order to make this process a little easier for yourself than it might have otherwise been? Not only do you deserve to get the help, but you owe it to yourself to keep reaching out for it, as you have done by asking for this reading.
It has been both my pleasure and my privilege to meet and read for you. Your posting as not long, drawn out or overdone by any of my standards. In contrast to this, I have never received in all my time as a reader such a well thought out and beautifully expressed personal testament to the enduring strength of the human spirit, written in so few words.
The reading has only confirmed my initial impression that you are well on your way in the positive direction to achieving your goal of closure unconsciously as well as consciously, which could possibly with professional help allow you to focus on only one man and relationship at a time, instead of two men and two relationships simultaneously as is happening at present.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT
:smt049 :smt049Thank you so much for your inspirational reading! I'm sorry it has taken so long to respond, just wanted to let you know that it really resonated with me. Seeking guidance from a professional is something I have put off for a long time but I'm definitely going to look into it very soon. Thank you thank you!
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eye_of_tiger
- Site Admin
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- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:47 am
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Apologies for any delays are no longer necessary between good friends
Dear Chloe,
One of the things that I have learned to accept over many years of giving online readings is that the people whom I help like myself have a life to lead and responsibilities to be met, beyond regularly visiting this website. This means that apologies for not always getting back to me sooner are no longer necessary between good friends.
Also I am acutely aware that my readings frequently give people a lot to think about (where others give food for thought, I give the entire banquet), so I would much prefer that people take whatever time they feel is necessary to properly digest and assimilate these insights into their daily lives than to do a rush job.
I am so pleased that the contents of your reading resonated with and helped you, so whether it was two days, two weeks or two months since I gave it I feel that it has been on the whole successful as measured by your positive and thoughtful response.
Blessings 2U,
EoT :smt020
One of the things that I have learned to accept over many years of giving online readings is that the people whom I help like myself have a life to lead and responsibilities to be met, beyond regularly visiting this website. This means that apologies for not always getting back to me sooner are no longer necessary between good friends.
Also I am acutely aware that my readings frequently give people a lot to think about (where others give food for thought, I give the entire banquet), so I would much prefer that people take whatever time they feel is necessary to properly digest and assimilate these insights into their daily lives than to do a rush job.
I am so pleased that the contents of your reading resonated with and helped you, so whether it was two days, two weeks or two months since I gave it I feel that it has been on the whole successful as measured by your positive and thoughtful response.
Blessings 2U,
EoT :smt020
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