You have been working hard for so long and have made many personal sacrifices particularly in your social life to get to this major signpost, but now that you have reached it you feel strangely disappointed and disenchanted with yourself and your situation.
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One of your recent dreams suggests that you are experiencing issues in dealing with your sexual identity, in that you admit that since the age of seven you have not worn skirts or dresses.
This reading as well as this dream and others suggests to me that your outer and inner selves are presently in conflict with one another and that you wish to reject society's rigid ideas about how a woman should be dressed.
Which is exactly what the fashion industry is all about. Preserving the idea that some fashion expert in Paris can tell women how they should dress if they wish to be attractive to members of the opposite sex. Even down to them wearing the right colours (the colours which had not been selling well during previous fashion seasons).
The reading goes on to say that no other industry more than the fashion one would bring this conflict within you closer to the surface. So where you would normally be excited to finally have reached your goals, your inner self will not let this issue rest.
Your dream was accurately interpreted to mean that you want this conflict between wanting to be a woman, but at the same time not wanting to passively accept society's ideas of what a woman should be like, how she should dress and what type of jobs she should do to go away and leave you in peace.
In your dream this was expressed by a desire to "kill off your inner feminine self" in an effort to resolve the emotional pressures being placed upon you by society, as well as the pressures you are placing upon yourself to conform to their outdated standards.
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Another one of your dreams (link above) in which you are making your wedding vows to some man who you do not recognise strongly communicates to me that you wish to find true love and eventually marry.
Could it be that the sacrifices which you have made in your social life over the years for your studies as well as you not feeling as though you wish to be a stereotyped woman have now made it extremely difficult for you to imagine getting married?
I see a possible danger here in that you might immerse yourself in your career in a likely to be unsuccessful attempt to show everyone that you really do not care or even want to think about getting married, when it is your deepest desire to do so.
But to get married under your terms, and not under your society's pressures to be the typical stereotyped woman who does not have her own dreams or ambitions independent of her partner's, and is like the highly digitally altered image seen in women's magazines of what a woman's body should look like (like a stick insect wearing a dress).
Not only is yours a sexual identity crisis in the sense of the woman whom you would like to be versus the woman society would like you to be, but it is also one of your body image, which could potentially lead to eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia or the so called yo-yo dieting or weight cycling syndrome.
One way in which some women suppress their sexual identity issues is to purposely dress like a man (another way is to put on lot of weight), because this makes them less attractive to men and protects them from having to face their inner conflicts.
Whether this applies in your case is not clear from this one reading, but it is always a possibility that this could be at the core of your problems, which are making you feel angry and frustrated when you should be feeling like celebrating your success and womanhood.
Does this reading help you to identify the true source of your feelings of anger and frustration, when according to all surface appearances you have it made career wise, and you are a confident and successful woman under your own terms, going in the direction that you always wanted to go?
Always be yourself, for you are the one person in this entire world who is best qualified to be YOU.
EoT
