I have posted here before, a few years ago. I am now 23. I am in University, finishing in a year. I recently had a disturbing event occur with someone who I thought I had something with. I guess I am searching for answers from that since he left me with none. A general reading would be OK though since it's been awhile for me.
Anything will help..
Thanks again!
KL.
reading for the new year.
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eye_of_tiger
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The reading offers no shortcuts or magic and instant solutions to your current predicament
Welcome KL, or should I say welcome back?
With that introduction it is difficult to see this being a general reading.
Firstly I want to congratulate you on having almost completed your University course, as I feel that many personal sacrifices have been made along your journey, for you to be able to reach this high point in your career preparation.
Unfortunately many of the answers which you are seeking can only either be answered by the man himself, or alternately by me directly reading his thoughts and intentions towards you which would necessarily require me to give you a third party reading which is against the forum rules.
You have not defined exactly what this disturbing event was or if it involves another woman, but whatever transpired I feel that it has left you in a state of psychic shock.
Whatever he has done or not done when he should has effectively destroyed your trust in him as well as removing your own feelings of security that he is with you for the long haul and is willing to wait until you graduate and get a reasonably well paid job before settling down with you. It is as if all your dreams of being together have been instantly blown to pieces, and with it a part of your heart has just been torn out of your chest.
No wonder then that you are feeling lost and more than a little sorry for yourself when you are mourning your significant loss. Nobody has actually died, but your dreams of you both living happily ever after and the relationship both may have, and you are being asked to carry on as though nothing had ever happened (impossible).
To make matters worse, you are punishing yourself for not seeing this coming, and feel a lot of undeserved guilt in believing that this is all your fault. While it is true that it takes at least two people to make a relationship and accordingly each partner must share some responsibility for whatever happens, taking total responsibility as you appear to be doing is simply unfair and not on.
The reading tells me that there have been signs in the past that he has had emotional problems of his own which it is felt began long before you arrived on the scene, and that therefore he entered his relationship with you dragging behind him considerable negative emotional baggage which has coloured your relationship with him ever since you first met each other (or at least this time around).
By recent do you mean within the last week, last month or last six months, as it may be somewhat early to completely write him off just yet? Does he live a long distance from your home, and is it possible that something is going on in his life which has made him close down his feelings as a means of defence?
Once again is it plausible that whatever is going on relates back to his earlier experiences with the fairer sex, and has little if anything to do with you? How long has it been since you last had an open and honest conversation with each other face to face, and not only over the telephone or internet? The answers to these question are for your eyes only, and none of my business. They are merely to help you think through this, and not designed to make you feel even more confused about your upcoming decision than you already are.
If you do not get answers the recommended way (directly from him), your mind will naturally tend to fill in the missing details using your vivid imagination. And you could be imagining a lot of terrible things which are not true about his real reasons for withdrawing.
The reading offers no shortcuts or magic and instant solutions to your current predicament. Somehow one of you is going to need to be the first one to make contact (if indeed he wants this relationship as much as you obviously do) and arrange that you both meet to make peace with your differences. If however there is another woman involved in a love triangle, or if he has been violent or abusive towards you in the past and up until recently then I think that the decision has already been made for you in the negative. Similarly if alcohol and recreational/party drugs are behind this, I am sad to say but I feel that this relationship is a lost cause (although I would like to be proven incorrect about my impressions).
Sorry that I cannot be more helpful, but I hope that you can understand why I feel there is no satisfactory substitute for getting the answers straight from the person concerned. Depending on how recent this break up was, the reading suggests that you give him some time to pull himself together before attempting to contact him, but the big question is how long you are willing and able to wait for him.
The longer you do wait to find out for sure, the more it is felt likely that he will seek comfort in the arms of another woman. But if you are too impatient you could equally ruin your chances of ever getting back together with him. The ideal approach lies somewhere between the two extremes of not waiting long enough, and waiting far too long. With your psychic shock you are not presently at the top of your game for making such an important decision, but the reading sees no other way of making this process any easier on either your mind or woman's heart, which is bleeding tears.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT :smt102
With that introduction it is difficult to see this being a general reading.
Firstly I want to congratulate you on having almost completed your University course, as I feel that many personal sacrifices have been made along your journey, for you to be able to reach this high point in your career preparation.
Unfortunately many of the answers which you are seeking can only either be answered by the man himself, or alternately by me directly reading his thoughts and intentions towards you which would necessarily require me to give you a third party reading which is against the forum rules.
You have not defined exactly what this disturbing event was or if it involves another woman, but whatever transpired I feel that it has left you in a state of psychic shock.
Whatever he has done or not done when he should has effectively destroyed your trust in him as well as removing your own feelings of security that he is with you for the long haul and is willing to wait until you graduate and get a reasonably well paid job before settling down with you. It is as if all your dreams of being together have been instantly blown to pieces, and with it a part of your heart has just been torn out of your chest.
No wonder then that you are feeling lost and more than a little sorry for yourself when you are mourning your significant loss. Nobody has actually died, but your dreams of you both living happily ever after and the relationship both may have, and you are being asked to carry on as though nothing had ever happened (impossible).
To make matters worse, you are punishing yourself for not seeing this coming, and feel a lot of undeserved guilt in believing that this is all your fault. While it is true that it takes at least two people to make a relationship and accordingly each partner must share some responsibility for whatever happens, taking total responsibility as you appear to be doing is simply unfair and not on.
The reading tells me that there have been signs in the past that he has had emotional problems of his own which it is felt began long before you arrived on the scene, and that therefore he entered his relationship with you dragging behind him considerable negative emotional baggage which has coloured your relationship with him ever since you first met each other (or at least this time around).
By recent do you mean within the last week, last month or last six months, as it may be somewhat early to completely write him off just yet? Does he live a long distance from your home, and is it possible that something is going on in his life which has made him close down his feelings as a means of defence?
Once again is it plausible that whatever is going on relates back to his earlier experiences with the fairer sex, and has little if anything to do with you? How long has it been since you last had an open and honest conversation with each other face to face, and not only over the telephone or internet? The answers to these question are for your eyes only, and none of my business. They are merely to help you think through this, and not designed to make you feel even more confused about your upcoming decision than you already are.
If you do not get answers the recommended way (directly from him), your mind will naturally tend to fill in the missing details using your vivid imagination. And you could be imagining a lot of terrible things which are not true about his real reasons for withdrawing.
The reading offers no shortcuts or magic and instant solutions to your current predicament. Somehow one of you is going to need to be the first one to make contact (if indeed he wants this relationship as much as you obviously do) and arrange that you both meet to make peace with your differences. If however there is another woman involved in a love triangle, or if he has been violent or abusive towards you in the past and up until recently then I think that the decision has already been made for you in the negative. Similarly if alcohol and recreational/party drugs are behind this, I am sad to say but I feel that this relationship is a lost cause (although I would like to be proven incorrect about my impressions).
Sorry that I cannot be more helpful, but I hope that you can understand why I feel there is no satisfactory substitute for getting the answers straight from the person concerned. Depending on how recent this break up was, the reading suggests that you give him some time to pull himself together before attempting to contact him, but the big question is how long you are willing and able to wait for him.
The longer you do wait to find out for sure, the more it is felt likely that he will seek comfort in the arms of another woman. But if you are too impatient you could equally ruin your chances of ever getting back together with him. The ideal approach lies somewhere between the two extremes of not waiting long enough, and waiting far too long. With your psychic shock you are not presently at the top of your game for making such an important decision, but the reading sees no other way of making this process any easier on either your mind or woman's heart, which is bleeding tears.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT :smt102
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klaroche1991
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2010 9:21 pm
Thank you for this reading - it was extremely accurate and very helpful. Unfortunately there is no way of getting answers from this person so I am left to try and solve my questions myself... your reading has eased some of my pain and will allow me to eventually pick up and move on.
Thank you again,
sincerely,
KL
Thank you again,
sincerely,
KL
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eye_of_tiger
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Dear KL,
You are very welcome for the reading.
Not being able to get answers directly from the person concerned appears to put you at a disadvantage, but perhaps being thrown back upon your own resources is just what your inner doctor would have prescribed for your optimum emotional health.
Always easier said than done, but often we do not fully discover our own inner strengths and abilities to cope under pressure, until we are forced into doing so by our situation.
Loving regards,
EoT :smt049
You are very welcome for the reading.
Not being able to get answers directly from the person concerned appears to put you at a disadvantage, but perhaps being thrown back upon your own resources is just what your inner doctor would have prescribed for your optimum emotional health.
Always easier said than done, but often we do not fully discover our own inner strengths and abilities to cope under pressure, until we are forced into doing so by our situation.
Loving regards,
EoT :smt049
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klaroche1991
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2010 9:21 pm
Thank you again- I am writing here because I had to go back and re-read what you wrote for me.
Any advice on how to avoid a situation like that again? Unfortunately, I have had another relationship go downhill recently and I cannot figure out what I am doing wrong. Any suggestions on what to do to heal? Or how to heal and move on?
Thank you again.
KL
Any advice on how to avoid a situation like that again? Unfortunately, I have had another relationship go downhill recently and I cannot figure out what I am doing wrong. Any suggestions on what to do to heal? Or how to heal and move on?
Thank you again.
KL
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eye_of_tiger
- Site Admin
- Posts: 8490
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:47 am
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KL,
In your last reading from me earlier this year was written the following words (and I quote)........
Fortunately we are only held responsible for what we consciously do. If we were also held responsible for what we unconsciously do, then all of us will be regularly in the court system in the ridiculous situation of having to legally defend ourselves for appearing naked in public in our dreams, or for committing some unspeakable act upon our fellow human being which we are in the rapid eye movement (REM) phase of sleep where dreams are believed to happen. Also a lot of what we do this time in our waking lives is determined by unconscious behaviour patterns. How many times have you wished that someone who was annoying you would just disappear from the face of the Earth or drop dead? If we were held responsible for simply having these thoughts, then the court system would be constantly 100% full.
In your case one of those unconscious behaviour patterns is the self punishment, unnecessary guilt and believing that you do not deserve anything or any one better. You also have the unconscious belief that whenever something does not go as you hoped, planned or expected that it might (like a relationship) then it MUST BE YOUR FAULT ALONE.
One of the nasty downsides of you having such a self punitive unconscious behaviour pattern as described above is that your entire body language will effectively communicate to any man whom you meet that you are more than willing to allow him to make all the important decisions in your relationship instead of you having your say, and that your self confidence and self respect (presumably because you think of yourself as a criminal delinquent and a rotten person) are both almost non existent.
Now a woman who mainly unconsciously communicate these things to every eligible bachelor whom she encounters should not be surprised that she would as a result attract more than her fair share of men who are looking for a human doormat who has low self confidence, low self respect, and is above all willing to take the entire blame so that he gets off squeaky clean free from having to take any responsibility for anything.
He can then use this as a cover for abusing you and walking all over your rights to have any role in making your opinions known. People who do not like themselves are often much easier to control or manipulate, which is exactly what they plan to do. If you complain that they are not respecting your rights, they will generally use the blame game on you to make you feel even worse about yourself and so perpetuate your submissiveness to them. It is in such a man's (if you can call this a man) best interests to force you to believe all these things so that you will stay with him and just put up with whatever he does to you, as if you do not know how fortunate you are to have such a wonderful and kind partner who would allow you to stay when you are so "bad".
What are you consciously doing wrong to continually attract men who will essentially walk all over you? Most likely NOTHING. Why do you continue to attract these types of abusive and emotionally immature men? Almost entirely because of your negative unconscious behaviour patterns built up and reinforced over many years, which are then in turn communicated through your body language and basically everything which you do or say from then on in the company of any man.
What can you do to get rid of these self sabotaging unconscious behaviour patterns which are preventing you from having loving and lasting more harmonious relationships and at the same time keep attracting stinkers and cads to you in large numbers? Psychic readings and the support which you can get on Mystic Board can help, but when these patterns have been so well established and deeply ingrained over an extended period of time, professional help through a psychologist or counsellor may be necessary to help shift them, in combination with our support.
It is unrealistic to think that if you find the right support that these unconscious enemies are going to magically disappear overnight (but many of us think it). Often there is a considerable delay between you getting the emotional help and support you deserve, working regularly on ridding yourself of them, and then seeing the positive results of all your efforts to get better in your relationships. It is exactly at these times that it seems that you will never shift these patterns and that you should consequently give up and begin believing that you are destined to live your life alone without a love partner.
The reading finishes by warning you not to listen to this inner voice which is telling you these completely false things about yourself, because it is the same one by which the negative unconscious behaviour pattern has lasted this long. It is the voice of your inner judge, jury and executioner, who has you guilty whatever happens. In our legal system everyone has the right to have their side of the story heard and the system must prove beyond reasonable doubt that you are guilty (up until then everyone is seen as innocent).
Your inner judge however does not recognise your right to have your full story heard, and already has you as being guilty no matter what you so or do to prove otherwise. You are denied a fair trial, which even a serial killer or child molester has a right to. Are you really saying that you are a worse type of person than they are, and therefore do not deserve a fair hearing from your inner judge, or to have a man's respect?
If you really do believe inside that this is the case, then you urgently need whatever help and support you can get and afford to reverse the damage which this has done to your ability to practise true self love To value and respect yourself for whom you already are - a warm, generous, kind and sensitive woman whom any real man (which rules out emotionally immature and abusive males) should feel extremely blessed to be loved by and love as if she is the only woman in his world. Emotionally immature and abusive men want you instead to be someone whom you are not. It makes it much easier for them to control you.
Go for it! You deserve to be happy and truly loved as much as any other woman or man does. Life is too short to spend it always listening to negative unconscious behaviour patterns, which tell you complete lies about yourself. Your therapist or counsellor or we can help you to reprogram or replace these negative self debasing patterns with much more encouraging positive and healthy ones.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT :smt049 :smt059
In your last reading from me earlier this year was written the following words (and I quote)........
Then in this most recent request you wrote........To make matters worse, you are punishing yourself for not seeing this coming, and feel a lot of undeserved guilt in believing that this is all your fault.
In both cases you are automatically assuming that you are consciously doing something to destroy your relationships, and are therefore beating up on yourself as you have a strong tendency to take the total responsibility for whatever happens or does not happen in your relationships upon your already overloaded shoulders. What your partner consciously or unconsciously does to throw a spanner into the works seems to have been conveniently overlooked or ignored in your final analysis with regards to discovering why the relationship did not last the distance. And another aspect of self punishment is that because you believe deep down in your unconscious mind that you are guilty of some terrible crime which was entirely responsible for the relationship disintegrating, you also believe that you do not deserve to have a harmonious love life as penitence for your "crimes".I cannot figure out what I am doing wrong.
Fortunately we are only held responsible for what we consciously do. If we were also held responsible for what we unconsciously do, then all of us will be regularly in the court system in the ridiculous situation of having to legally defend ourselves for appearing naked in public in our dreams, or for committing some unspeakable act upon our fellow human being which we are in the rapid eye movement (REM) phase of sleep where dreams are believed to happen. Also a lot of what we do this time in our waking lives is determined by unconscious behaviour patterns. How many times have you wished that someone who was annoying you would just disappear from the face of the Earth or drop dead? If we were held responsible for simply having these thoughts, then the court system would be constantly 100% full.
In your case one of those unconscious behaviour patterns is the self punishment, unnecessary guilt and believing that you do not deserve anything or any one better. You also have the unconscious belief that whenever something does not go as you hoped, planned or expected that it might (like a relationship) then it MUST BE YOUR FAULT ALONE.
One of the nasty downsides of you having such a self punitive unconscious behaviour pattern as described above is that your entire body language will effectively communicate to any man whom you meet that you are more than willing to allow him to make all the important decisions in your relationship instead of you having your say, and that your self confidence and self respect (presumably because you think of yourself as a criminal delinquent and a rotten person) are both almost non existent.
Now a woman who mainly unconsciously communicate these things to every eligible bachelor whom she encounters should not be surprised that she would as a result attract more than her fair share of men who are looking for a human doormat who has low self confidence, low self respect, and is above all willing to take the entire blame so that he gets off squeaky clean free from having to take any responsibility for anything.
He can then use this as a cover for abusing you and walking all over your rights to have any role in making your opinions known. People who do not like themselves are often much easier to control or manipulate, which is exactly what they plan to do. If you complain that they are not respecting your rights, they will generally use the blame game on you to make you feel even worse about yourself and so perpetuate your submissiveness to them. It is in such a man's (if you can call this a man) best interests to force you to believe all these things so that you will stay with him and just put up with whatever he does to you, as if you do not know how fortunate you are to have such a wonderful and kind partner who would allow you to stay when you are so "bad".
What are you consciously doing wrong to continually attract men who will essentially walk all over you? Most likely NOTHING. Why do you continue to attract these types of abusive and emotionally immature men? Almost entirely because of your negative unconscious behaviour patterns built up and reinforced over many years, which are then in turn communicated through your body language and basically everything which you do or say from then on in the company of any man.
What can you do to get rid of these self sabotaging unconscious behaviour patterns which are preventing you from having loving and lasting more harmonious relationships and at the same time keep attracting stinkers and cads to you in large numbers? Psychic readings and the support which you can get on Mystic Board can help, but when these patterns have been so well established and deeply ingrained over an extended period of time, professional help through a psychologist or counsellor may be necessary to help shift them, in combination with our support.
It is unrealistic to think that if you find the right support that these unconscious enemies are going to magically disappear overnight (but many of us think it). Often there is a considerable delay between you getting the emotional help and support you deserve, working regularly on ridding yourself of them, and then seeing the positive results of all your efforts to get better in your relationships. It is exactly at these times that it seems that you will never shift these patterns and that you should consequently give up and begin believing that you are destined to live your life alone without a love partner.
The reading finishes by warning you not to listen to this inner voice which is telling you these completely false things about yourself, because it is the same one by which the negative unconscious behaviour pattern has lasted this long. It is the voice of your inner judge, jury and executioner, who has you guilty whatever happens. In our legal system everyone has the right to have their side of the story heard and the system must prove beyond reasonable doubt that you are guilty (up until then everyone is seen as innocent).
Your inner judge however does not recognise your right to have your full story heard, and already has you as being guilty no matter what you so or do to prove otherwise. You are denied a fair trial, which even a serial killer or child molester has a right to. Are you really saying that you are a worse type of person than they are, and therefore do not deserve a fair hearing from your inner judge, or to have a man's respect?
If you really do believe inside that this is the case, then you urgently need whatever help and support you can get and afford to reverse the damage which this has done to your ability to practise true self love To value and respect yourself for whom you already are - a warm, generous, kind and sensitive woman whom any real man (which rules out emotionally immature and abusive males) should feel extremely blessed to be loved by and love as if she is the only woman in his world. Emotionally immature and abusive men want you instead to be someone whom you are not. It makes it much easier for them to control you.
Go for it! You deserve to be happy and truly loved as much as any other woman or man does. Life is too short to spend it always listening to negative unconscious behaviour patterns, which tell you complete lies about yourself. Your therapist or counsellor or we can help you to reprogram or replace these negative self debasing patterns with much more encouraging positive and healthy ones.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT :smt049 :smt059
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klaroche1991
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2010 9:21 pm
one year later...
Hi there!
Thank you so much for your feedback, it has been a year since my last reading. I can honestly say that I am doing much better mentally. I am in my last month of University and my journey is coming to an end, I also have found someone and have been with him for almost a year. It was been a rough road, relationships are not easy, and we both have scars but I truly believe our bond is strong.
I am wondering what else is in store for me, especially this relationship I am in. I have been having recurring dreams about him leaving me, and looking back to these posts I think it was because of my unconscious thinking issues -- I always have that negative mindset in the back of my head, telling me I don't deserve this.
What do you think? Your guidance is always greatly appreciated.
Take care,
KL
Thank you so much for your feedback, it has been a year since my last reading. I can honestly say that I am doing much better mentally. I am in my last month of University and my journey is coming to an end, I also have found someone and have been with him for almost a year. It was been a rough road, relationships are not easy, and we both have scars but I truly believe our bond is strong.
I am wondering what else is in store for me, especially this relationship I am in. I have been having recurring dreams about him leaving me, and looking back to these posts I think it was because of my unconscious thinking issues -- I always have that negative mindset in the back of my head, telling me I don't deserve this.
What do you think? Your guidance is always greatly appreciated.
Take care,
KL
-
klaroche1991
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2010 9:21 pm
-
eye_of_tiger
- Site Admin
- Posts: 8490
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:47 am
- Location: Adelaide, South Australia
- Contact:
KL,
Not a problem!
I have disregarded the above posting, and moved over to the other thread for your reading.
http://mysticboard.org/vi ... 778#336778
CU there!
EoT :smt002 :smt002 :smt005
Not a problem!
I have disregarded the above posting, and moved over to the other thread for your reading.
http://mysticboard.org/vi ... 778#336778
CU there!
EoT :smt002 :smt002 :smt005
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