What went Wrong

[girlwiththefairytatto]

For a month I went on a few dates with someone who appeared smitten and completely keen.  Then out of the blue after being more initimate he said he didn't feel the spark and didn't see a future although his actions and words proved otherwise. My gut says he did it all to get lucky so to pick. I have also done tarot readings and pulled cards saying beware of being deceived. On the other hand my reading also indicated it was a time for love.

I would like some second opinions. Last night I dreamt of why we didn't work out and in this dream he mentioned being emotionally not ready. He also spoke of my fidelity. As I was in a semi love triangle with him and someone from my past I'm not sure if it was a premonition. Thanks

[eye_of_tiger]

For a month I went on a few dates with someone who appeared smitten and completely keen.  Then out of the blue after being more initimate he said he didn't feel the spark and didn't see a future although his actions and words proved otherwise. My gut says he did it all to get lucky so to pick. I have also done tarot readings and pulled cards saying beware of being deceived. On the other hand my reading also indicated it was a time for love.

I would like some second opinions. Last night I dreamt of why we didn't work out and in this dream he mentioned being emotionally not ready. He also spoke of my fidelity. As I was in a semi love triangle with him and someone from my past I'm not sure if it was a premonition. Thanks

Hello again Jessica,

You must understand that I do not give second opinions concerning such matters as these on this board. The I Need A Hug forum is I feel better designed for that purpose.

What follows therefore represents my reading about your relationship with this man (present and future), and indirectly about what he is really up to but will not admit it to anybody including himself, through you as a member and a friend.

My gut says he did it all to get lucky so to pick.

This reading agrees completely with what your gut instincts appear to be telling you. That is that a large part of the reason that he came onto you so strongly and passionately especially at first was for the sex. But I also feel that this is far from being the only reason that he has suddenly developed cold feet. I suspect that this person is a control freak, who uses sex only as one method of gaining more control over you.

I have also done tarot readings and pulled cards saying beware of being deceived.

Generally it is inadvisable to do Tarot readings for yourself in such highly emotionally charged situations as the one which you have just described. You are to close to and therefore also too emotionally involved with the outcome of your own reading to be able to do this objectively (without your emotions getting the better of your judgement. This having been said I asked my inner source whether you were being deceived or tricked then in response to this question turned over the major arcana card called JUDGEMENT.

JUDGEMENT being your focus card leads me to an identical conclusion to your own. That this man does not know how to be honest and transparent about his true feelings and intentions towards you, and the real reason for wanting to be intimate with you. Judgement talks a lot about someone accepting responsibility for his behaviour towards others, and accepting and learning painful lessons as a consequence of such immature and irresponsible behaviour. The laws of cause and effect have finally caught up with this man, and in a feeble and cowardly manner he is attempting to unload his pathological guilt about what he has done to you onto you, as though he believes that you do not deserve any better treatment than he is giving you. Which BTW is the biggest lie of all.

On the other hand my reading also indicated it was a time for love.

For a third time this reading agrees with your self reading. It is time for you to get the true and lasting type of love which you so richly deserve, BUT you will never get anything even approaching what real love is about from this individual. NEVER! You will need to look to another man who deserves to be loved by a warm, sensitive and intelligent woman such as yourself, who does not have all the emotional hangups in wanting to control or have power over women that this man undoubtedly does.

Last night I dreamt of why we didn't work out and in this dream he mentioned being emotionally not ready.

A dream is about the only way in which you are ever going to hear him confess that he is nowhere near being adequately emotionally prepared for having a deep and lasting relationship with a woman of your exceptional character. Not only your reading but also your dreams are revealing the full truth of the situation. My interpretation of this reading agrees with what your dreaming mind is telling you. He is not ready for a relationship with you, or any other woman who is unwilling to believe that she does not deserve any better treatment from her man.

He also spoke of my fidelity. As I was in a semi love triangle with him and someone from my past I'm not sure if it was a premonition.

Often we are quickest to accuse another person of the very failings of which we are most guilty ourselves. The reading neither gives me more information about nor makes any judgement about your simultaneous relationship or love triangle with that past flame of yours, but this most recent of readings suggests that there is more than less likely to be a second woman unknown to you who he is also using to satisfy his selfish needs.

Is there such a thing as a love square?

By questioning your fidelity to him either in your thoughts or actions towards this someone from your past, he is possibly presenting you with at least good circumstantial evidence of having been unfaithful and dishonest to you with HER. People who live in glass houses should not be the first ones to cast the first stones at their neighbours. A man whose own fidelity is in question should not be the first person to accuse his partner of potentially breaking the same rule. The old double standard is still going strong. What is never right or OK for you is always perfectly fine and acceptable for him.

Question: What went wrong?

Answer: He was the wrong man for you from the beginning, but love can temporarily deceive or blind you to the harsher realities about that male person (being an adult male does not automatically make you an emotionally mature and good man) who holds your beating heart in the palm of his hand. While you must bear some part of the responsibility for what happened, it is NOT all of your responsibility and it is NONE of your fault that he is the way that he is towards women in general.

If you can begin to believe and reinforce these positive, inspiring and self confidence boosting truths which this reading is telling you about at a deeper more unconscious level (with or without external assistance), then you will naturally attract a much better and more grown up type of man than this one could ever hope to be from now on.

According to this reading your decision as to whether or not you should feel fortunate to have escaped the complete loss of your self confidence and self respect that your future partnership with this man would have undoubtedly involved before it was too late, should logically be a NO BRAINER. If only you did not still have some residual feelings for him, it would then be much easier for you to decide then act by voting with your feet in the opposite direction?

Take good care of yourself,

EoT

[girlwiththefairytatto]

Thank u EOTT. I was looking for a psyschic reading. Your reading has helped and Im.always amazed at your accuracy and your ability to gain information I forget to mention.
In your reading you mention this mans controlling nature. During this time he has mentioned his controlling father and how he is the only child who speaks to his father. In hinght this might be the case as he can relate to him.
He also complained about his sister for actions that I see as normal humam error eg beong untidy, forgetting a bill or going to the shops and not seeing if anyone else wants something. I had to admit I was concerned then and felt i was too laid back for him but I turned a blind eye. I evem wondered if my simolarity to his sister was the cause.

Also your reading also made me realise that I had been neglecting a previous relationship which was the one of the triangle and is salvagable

[eye_of_tiger]

Jessica,

You are more than welcome for the reading. It was a psychic/intuitive reading, and not just my personal or second opinion as I would had offered you on the I Need A Hug forum, if you had posted it there instead of here.

I cannot read him directly, but if he had a controlling father, then it is likely that he as a result felt that he had little or no control over what happened in his own life. He felt that his father was making all of his decisions for him.

When boys especially of over controlling fathers grow up they often go one of two very different ways in their approach to their close relationships. Either they are totally submissive and put up with virtually anything because they want the other person to like them and are by now seriously lacking in any self confidence or self respect, or they try to be a carbon copy of their controlling parent, or even worse in an attempt to feel that they finally have the control which they never had as a child.

Another victim of a victim, whose father may also in turn have been in control over his life. Very sad, but unfortunately also very common.

This may be why this man is the only person who can communicate with his father, because he is so similar in his approach to a world and life where there are always so many things which are and which will always remain beyond their control to influence to their advantage.

Controlling people are also often highly critical of anyone who shows signs of not being perfect, as they believe that they are. A controlling personality and expectations of perfection in both oneself and in the people around you often go hand in hand, so why should his sister miss out on feeling him waiting for her to make a mistake or not do everything exactly as he says that she should (which it is inevitable that she will at some point)?

Also your reading also made me realise that I had been neglecting a previous relationship which was the one of the triangle and is salvageable

Then your decision to leave this sad and damaged man is not a decision at all which you need to make (it has been effectively made for you by his pathological need to always feel in complete control over women), which is what the reading meant by it being a no brainer. If it was a no brainer then, it is now much more of a no brainer than the reading had picked up on before you volunteered this extra information.

I wish you and the other man in the triangle or square every happiness and success in your future life together.

Loving regards,

EoT  :smt052